Tag: Top 10 List

Top Ten Tuesday: Calling All Parodies!

Two new parodies open in theaters this weekend on Friday, May 21… MACGRUBER and SHREK FOREVER AFTER. Just as these two films are very different from each other, as are movie parodies, ranging in style and format, poking fun at anything and everything. In keeping with this week’s box office theme, We Are Movie Geeks has formulated our own list of the ten best parody movies. The films we’ve selected broadly encompass the widely varying genre of parodies, and while we certainly left out some good ones, it gives an idea of what we think of as being the exemplary examples.

Honorable Mention: UHF (1989)

I’ll admit, Weird Al Yankovic’s parody of public access television is not everyone’s cup-o-tea, but for truly devoted Movies Geeks, this is a modern classic of ridiculous comedy. Yankovic has already established himself as an international music star, which is saying a lot given he’s devoted his career to a less-than-mainstream genre, selling countless records of song parodies. So, it seems only natural that he took that stardom and translated it into a movie. From the Wheel of Fish to Philo’s Secrets of the Universe, from spoofs of well-known movies like INDIANA JONES and RAMBO to TV commercials for businesses like Spatula City, UHF has endless amounts of off-the-wall fun. The film featured a cast of comedians including Victoria Jackson and Fran Drescher, but also kicked off the career of Michael Richards, prior to his meteoric rise as Cosmos Kramer on SEINFELD and his catastrophic fall as a loose-lipped, short-tempered stand-up comic. UHF is often cheesy, often bizarre, bit always a good time!

10. HOT SHOTS! (1991)

HOT SHOTS took on the macho fly-boy genre, especially TOP GUN, but also FLIGHT OF THE INTRUDER and NAVY SEALS (not to mention DANCES WITH WOLVES) in 1991. Charlie Sheen played the chiseled hero Topper Harley and he’s hilarious, always stern and stone-faced despite the outright daftness of everything going on around him. A favorite sequence has Sheen erotically feeding Valeria Golino grapes 9½ WEEKS-style and, in escalating passion, ends up cooking breakfast on her sizzling stomach. Sheen is great and he never breaks character or smirks to the camera to let us all know he’s in on the joke. Lloyd Bridges steals the show in every single scene he is in and I love the scene where he puts the cloth through his ears. HOT SHOTS primarily works on the basis that if it lobs enough of its jokes at us, at least some are going to stick and while the percentage that score isn’t quite at the level of AIRPLANE or THE NAKED GUN, HOT SHOTS is still a great parody.

09. SCARY MOVIE (2000)

An AIRPLANE-style parody of the ’90s resurgence of slasher movies, few spoofs are funnier or outrageously ballsy as SCARY MOVIE, the 2000 comedy directed by Keenen Ivory Wayans. It starts as a scene-for-scene lampoon of the original SCREAM then borrows and skewers major plot points from I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER, THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT, THE MATRIX and more. Watching SCARY MOVIE is akin to getting five jokes, puns, and one-liners, thrown at you per minute and most of them work. Kudos to Wayans for having the courage to present such un-PC, offensive material. No bodily function or substance was too disgusting to portray in SCARY MOVIE for the purpose of getting laughs and it’s surprising the MPAA was able to give him even an R rating (the three sequels have all been neutered at PG-13). SCARY MOVIE was the first starring role for Anna Faris and where she first honed her winning clueless persona. It’s Ms. Faris who’s the chief comedic virtue of the very funny SCARY MOVIE series.

08. THE NAKED GUN (1988)

THE NAKED GUN is all Leslie Nielsen’s show: with an unaccountable flair for the needlessly dramatic, his dunderheaded Lieutenant Frank Drebin holds all the absurdity together by treating everything as if it were a matter of life or death. Bingo! Based on characters from their short-lived television series “Police Squad!” THE NAKED GUN: FROM THE FILES OF POLICE SQUAD! (1988) was the first comedy franchise from brothers David and Jerry Zucker, spawning two sequels. THE NAKED GUN was a rapid-fire laugh machine full of corny gags, innuendos, tons of verbal jokes (“nice beaver”), O.J. Simpson, and Reggie Jackson trying to kill Queen Elizabeth (who stands up and does the wave at a California Angels fan). The endless jokes are mostly tasteless and juvenile but they come at such breakneck speed there’s barely time to catch your breath.

07. THE PRINCESS BRIDE (1987)

Your first thought may be that this isn’t a parody, but the truth is THE PRINCESS BRIDE is actually a parody of romantic fairy tales. Here’s the catch… the movie ended up being so darn good it works as a straight comedy, often overshadowing the element of parody. Director Rob Reiner’s tale of true love, written by William Goldman and based upon his own book, follows poor farm hand Wesley (Cary Elwes) as he returns as the “Man in Black” to reclaim his Buttercup (Robin Wright) before she is forced to marry the evil Prince Humperdinck (Chris Sarandon). THE PRINCESS BRIDE is an epic story, filled with fun, adventure and plenty of unforgettable laughs. The cast consists of an enormous line-up of talent featuring Mandy Patinkin, Wallace Shawn, Billy Crystal, Christopher Guest, Carol Kane and Andre the Giant. Easily one of the most quotable films of all time, THE PRINCESS BRIDE is a light-hearted and humorous love story that guys and gals can enjoy alike.

06. MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL (1975)

“We’re knights of the Round Table, we dance whene’er we’re able. We do routines and chorus scenes with footwork impec-cable, We dine well here in Camelot, we eat ham and jam and Spam a lot.” This toe-tapping, musical interlude is just one example of the genius that is found in MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL. It’s the medieval send-up of Arthur “King of the Britons,” along with his Knights of the Round Table, quest for the Holy Grail. All the knights run into various perils such as the Knights Who Say “Ni!,” the 3-headed giant, and Tim the Enchanter. The heroes are lured to the Castle Anthrax by a faux grail beacon, followed by a battle to the death with the Rabbit of Caerbannog with the Holy Hand Grenade. Written by Python alum Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin, this cult favorite is a cheeky bookend to 1981’s EXCALIBUR…” On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.”

05. SHAUN OF THE DEAD (2004)

So what would you do if your job sucked, your girlfriend just left you, and… oh yeah, the world has just been overrun by zombies? (If this sounds terribly familiar, assume this isn’t already your life.) If you’re Shaun, you do the obvious: grab a cricket bat and go to town on some old-fashioned, slow-moving zombies with your loyal yet ill-mannered best friend Ed, all in the name of saving the day and getting your girl back. Described as a “rom-zom-com,” or a “romantic comedy with zombies,” SHAUN OF THE DEAD pays tribute to the Romero classics, but adds it’s own light-hearted spin to the undead genre.

04. AIRPLANE! (1980)

“Does anyone here speak jive?” If not, don’t fret… there’s surely an elderly white woman on your plane that can translate, right? This is merely the beginning of the absurdly ridiculous comedy that occurs aboard AIRPLANE! The movie was co-written and co-directed by Jim Abrahams and David Zucker and has become one of the original classics of the parody genre. Featuring a cast of big names, including Lloyd bridges, Robert Stack and even Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, surely this film can be taken seriously. But, of course it can’t, it’s a silly comedy. And, don’t call me Shirley! That’s right. It also stars Leslie Nielsen as Dr. Rumack, the man who gave birth to the quote eligible for the most abundantly overused award. AIRPLANE! Is a comedy that relies heavily on wordplay and puns, but the cast presents this low-brow style of comedy with such straight-faced seriousness that the humor becomes that much more hilarious. From confused pilots to passengers with drinking problems, AIRPLANE! Will have you laughing hysterically, and it’s not due to a lack of oxygen.

03. BLAZING SADDLES (1974)

Never has the wild, wild west seen such satire as Mel Brooks’ shoot’em up BLAZING SADDLES. The newly appointed black sheriff of Rock Ridge, much to the disconcerting Johnson townsfolk, is trying to stop the “bad guys” from driving a railroad right through their frontier town. Once in charge, Sheriff Bart faces the evil politician Hedy, “no, that’s Hedley” Lamaar who sends his henchman and gang of cowboys to Rock Ridge to “go a-ridin’ into town, a-whompin’ and a-whumpin’ every livin’ thing that moves within an inch of its life.” A lampoon of a Randolph Scott Western, BLAZING SADDLES is strewn with horses, Indians, barroom brawls, and an infamous “too much beans” farting scene around the campfire. Of course, Bart finds an ally in former gunslinger and current drunk, Jim, aka “The Waco Kid” and falls for the German assassin Lili von Shtupp who tries to seduce the sheriff with her, harrumph, schnitzengruben. From a time where screenplays, filled with racial slurs, didn’t know something called “political correctness,” Brooks made sure that every nationality was fair game to be made a mockery of and nothing raunchy was out of bounds. Good thing Brooks had final cut.

02. SPACEBALLS (1987)

Mel Brooks’ 1987 parody of science fiction flicks is remembered not necessarily as his best, but it certainly is one of his goofiest parodies, and one of his smartest. Besides lovingly ripping off the Star Wars franchise and a slew of other classic sci-fi movies (STAR TREK, ALIEN, 2001, PLANET OF THE APES), Brooks also takes a few well-deserved potshots at Hollywood’s fondness for unnecessary sequels and shameless merchandising. Dweeby Rick Moranis was comedy gold as Darth Vader wannabe Dark Helmet, while Bill Pullman camped it up as Lone Starr, a combination of the Luke Skywalker and Han Solo archetypes. With John Candy, Joan Rivers, and Brooks himself rounding out the cast, the “schwartz” was truly with this film, taking it from funny to hilarious at “ludicrous speed!”

01. YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN (1974)

Here’s the formula for comedic success in the 70’s… put Mel Brooks in the director’s chair and cast Gene Wilder. That’s it! No wonder Mel Brooks did this more than once, but his best collaboration with Gene Wilder has to be YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN. Gene Wilder plays Dr. Frankenstein, oh… sorry, Dr. Fronkensteen. My mistake. He’s a scientist, but denies his lineage to the infamous scientist who created a monster, until he realizes he may be able to succeed where his predecessor failed. Assisted by Inga (Teri Garr) and Igor (Marty Feldman) he pursues his renewed calling. What results is a new Monster, played brilliantly by Peter Boyle, but the monster is far from perfect, thanks to the “Abby Normal” brain acquired by Igor. Brooks’ writing and the comedic timing of the cast is perfect throughout the film, yet another of the most quotable movies of all-time. Shot in black and white for mood, Brooks’ captures the visual essence of the early Universal monster flicks, giving the genre a hefty dose of comedy, delivered intravenously for sustained laughter.

Top Ten Tuesday: Sensational Sword Fights

Ridley Scott’s newest epic, his own take on ROBIN HOOD starring Russell Crowe, opens in theaters Friday, May 14. While the classical lore of Robin Hood has him stealing from rich to give to the poor… the trailer suggests Scott has turned the Robin Hood tale into one helluva GLADIATOR-sized period action flick complete with sword fights. So, anticipating quite an awe-inspiring onscreen display of steel blade clashing, we’ve compiled our top ten list of the best sword fights captured on film.

Reader’s Choice: THE PRINCESS BRIDE – In an effort to show we value our reader’s opinions, we’ve included a Reader’s Choice selection this week.

In response to the overwhelming reaction to this film somehow shamefully slipping through the fingers of the Movie Geeks on this week’s Top Ten Tuesday, THE PRINCESS BRIDE has been added as a Reader’s Choice pick. The film is a favorite of virtually all movie geeks and the sword fight between the Dread Pirate Roberts (Cary Elwes) and Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin) is not only fun but very well staged. The duel is exciting, smart and witty, embedding itself into our minds among many memorable scenes from this modern classic.

Honorable Mention: STAR WARS, EP. V – THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

While some of you hardcore purists may scoff at this honorary selection, STAR WARS fans and the less-strict cinematic philosophers will surely consider the epic light saber battle between the Jedi Luke Skywalker and his soon-to-be-revealed father Darth Vader one of the most exhilarating and intensely dramatic “sword” fights of movie history. The emotion, the clashing of dark and light, the young versus the old, the variation of styles and discipline… all the makings of a brilliant duel are there. Who cares if the weapons are sticks of glowing light instead of cold, hard steel… when you think about it, its a nice change of pace.

10. CAPTAIN BLOOD (1935)

Billed as THE MOST MAGNIFICENT & THRILLING SEA ADVENTURE EVER FILMED, 1935’s CAPTAIN BLOOD was the movie that catapulted Errol Flynn to the ranks of Hollywood Star. Along with the dazzling sea-battles, director Michael Curtiz rousing tale of imprisoned doctor, Peter Blood, turned slave and then pirate is an exhilarating swashbuckling film. Captain Blood and his crew of fellow slaves become buccaneers, commandeer a ship, and go onto protect the Caribbean from Spanish galleons. The hero does find time, while plundering the seas, to fall in love with the beautiful Arabella Bishop (Olivia de Havilland). It was the first time that the movie-going audiences would see a sword fight between Errol Flynn’s Blood and Basil Rathbone’s Levasseur. The ensuing duel on the beach between the English pirate and French pirate is the epitome of brilliant choreography in footwork and timing, all accompanied by the melodramatic music of composer Erich Wolfgang Korngold. After the final, piercing death blow, no one could die better than Rathbone, as was later seen in THE ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD.

09. HERO (2002)

Before we even get into it, clearly there are those who do not subscribe to the fantastical Asian wire-work style of storytelling. All I have to say to that is… “to each their own.” I won’t go into how this is a cultural storytelling style that is used primarily in films dealing with myths and legends, stories of incredible feats and heroes. Thus, a period film called HERO about one of a culture’s most famed and beloved warriors who single-handily defeated three assassins bent on murdering the most powerful warlord of pre-unified China. His actions were pure of intent and focused on protecting his leader at all costs. He acted on principle, with honor. Jet Li’s performance was stellar in this beautifully shot and carefully crafted story. HERO combines amazing fight and wire choreography with a powerful story, containing amongst other treats one of the coolest semi-sword fighting duels in martial arts film history between jet Li and Donnie Yen.

08. BRAVEHEART

The battle scenes in Mel Gibson’s Academy Award winning epic are pretty much the heart of this movie, thus its place on this list. However the “sword fighting” in this movie is not your classic, refined, and dignified “fencing” that you see in say, Captain Blood or Pirates of the Caribbean. The weapons here are huge, sharp, heavy, take-your-head-off-with-one-swing Louisville Sluggers – very different than the shiny, pretty, clink-together silver of traditional fencing. The type of hand-to-hand combat in Braveheart showed a grim reality of sword fighting, and it ain’t pretty. Even if you survive, you end up covered in the blood and guts of your enemy. Again, one of the things that made this movie so good was the realism of battle. It’s bloody, its gory and its exhausting!

07. GLADIATOR

Are you not entertained?!?! That line became the rallying cry this time ten years ago when Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe teamed up for the first time. What an awesome collaboration it was, too. GLADIATOR trampled its way into theaters, keeping so many of us on the edges of our seats with its harrowing action scenes and gripping moments of drama. It was a film that made a star of Crowe, who was just beginning his growth in the film world, and it was a film that solidified Scott once again as a director not to be underestimated. For the few years before, Scott had been taking it easy in the directing world having not had a film out since 1997’s GI JANE. However, with the opening battle sequence of GLADIATOR, we knew the man who had brought us ALIEN and BLADE RUNNER was back with a fury, and the second leg of the talented director’s career had begun. GLADIATOR is a film about spectacle, both in that it honors the gladiatorial events of history and it draws on them with an unrivaled intensity. When Crowe cried out his pivotal line, we sat up, nodded our heads, and locked our eyes on screen. We were entertained.

06. SHOGUN ASSASSIN

SHOGUN ASSASSIN is a film that was created in 1980 to bring the six part Japanese LONE WOLF AND CUB saga, about an executioner framed for treason on the road to revenge with his toddler son, to American audiences who didn’t have access to the original films. The first two Lone Wolf films were re-edited to 86 minutes, re-scored and dubbed into English by Roger Corman’s New World pictures and the result was the eye-popping SHOGUN ASSASSIN. Narration was provided by 5-year old Cub, an unintentionally humorous device perhaps necessary to follow the movie’s many plot points. The dubbing was even worse than the Kung-Fu movies from the 70’s (at times characters are talking when their lips aren’t even moving) but it’s the comic-strip savagery of the swordplay that American viewers were unprepared for. Fountains of blood spurt like a hose from decapitations, severed body parts, cleaved heads, sliced necks, and cut limbs. The original LONE WOLF AND CUB films are accessible now but it’s this wacky re-edit that’s more likely to appeal to fans that like things fast and furious.

05. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL

2002. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember hearing about Disney’s plans to turn their popular Pirates of the Caribbean ride into a feature film. I remember thinking this was the worst idea I had ever heard. Boy, was I wrong. Once July 9th, 2003 rolled around, many of us were left holding our tongues, as the swashbuckling adventure Gore Verbinski, Jerry Bruckheimer and crew unfolded before us was epic, engaging, but, most importantly, it was a whole lot of fun. With an eccentric Johnny Depp and an honorable straight-man in Orlando Bloom leading the charge, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL quickly became a phenomenon and deservedly so. While the sword fighting carries throughout the rest of the trilogy (who can ever forget the amazing fight on the rolling mill wheel?), it was this first adventure that brought it all to light for many of us. The first PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN film is truly an adventure for the whole family, and one that proved to all of us that Disney knows precisely what they are doing when it comes to these decisions.

04. ROB ROY (1995)

While HIGHLANDER didn’t make our list, we do have another film representing the Scotts… ROB ROY tells the tale of a man in 1700’s Scottish Highlands trying to make a better life for his small village, but when the money he borrowed to carry out his good deeds is stolen he finds himself forced into a Robin hood type of life by way of his principles and the need to protect his family. Liam Neeson delivers an outstanding performance as Robert Roy MacGregor, the title character, while Tim Roth is equally effective as his very unlikable nemesis Archibald Cunningham, with whom Rob Roy duels without quarter later in the film. This duel more than anything, is what set ROB ROY apart and landed it on this list. Suspenseful, dramatic and very well choreographed, this showdown of two men –very different in class, training and personality– creates a gripping scene of good versus evil. ROB ROY also features great performances from Jessica Lange, John Hurt, Brian Cox and Eric Stoltz.

03. 300

When it comes to movies specifically designed to showcase the extremes of artistically glorified violence, 300 is the first movie that comes to mind, especially if we’re talking old school swords and shields. Zack Snyder’s motion picture interpretation of Frank Miller’s graphic novel is just that… graphic. No drop of blood is wasted, no gore is spared, no ab is left un(air)brushed. From beginning to end, 300 shows off what fight choreography can look like with combined with modern FX technology, adding an entirely new depth of sword-slashing, butt-kicking cinematic battles of the ancient times that weren’t possible from the sword and sandal flicks of the 50’s and 60’s or the swashbuckler flicks from Errol Flynn.

02. THE ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD (1938)

Longbows, continual sword fights, and archery tournaments are some of the marvelous colors painted throughout the canvas of director Michael Curtiz’s THE ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD. Who can forget, “Welcome to Sherwood, my lady. What Sir Guy, no greeting from you?” The dramatic entrance and line by Robin of Locksley (Errol Flynn) is, to this day, still unrivaled. The 1938 action film is further enhanced by the rich score of Oscar-winner Erich Wolfgang Korngold. One of the best in all filmdom, it’s #11 on AFI’s 100 Years of Film Scores list. The exciting sword fights between the Merry Men of Sherwood Forest and the Sheriff of Nottingham and his knights are made more colorful by the Academy Award winning editing of Ralph Dawson. Just as Flynn’s Robin Hood embodies the hero’s modus operandi of “stealing from the rich to give to the poor”, so does Claude Rains portrayal of the smarmy, villainous Prince John and his oppression of the Saxon people. Curtiz and cinematographers Tony Gaudio and Sol Polito’s thrilling use of shadows can be seen during the infamous and lengthy duel of Sir Guy of Gisbourne (Basil Rathbone) and Robin Hood emblazoned on the walls of the castle during the final act. For a film that epitomizes whirling sword fights all for the love of king and country look no further than THE ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD.

01. THE THREE MUSKETEERS (1973)

Director Richard Lester romped through Alexander Dumas’ novel in 1973 and came up with a hugely entertaining swashbuckler that was both revival and send up. No expense was spared, and THE THREE MUSKETEERS was a visually extravagant film with fabulous costumes and an A-list cast including Michael York, Richard Chamberlain, Oliver Reed, Fay Dunaway, and Charlton Heston. Everyone I’ve known with an interest in the sport of fencing invariably cites this version of THE THREE MUSKETEERS as home to their favorite sword-fighting sequences and there are many, quite different in scope and choreography, from a thrilling two-man battle in nighttime woods to an all out war at the base of a windmill The swordplay had never been equaled until the next year when Lester’s second half of the story was issued separately as THE FOUR MUSKETEERS, and it’s the sequel where Christopher Lee, as the villain Rochefort, best shows off his own accomplished sword fighting skills.

Top Ten Tuesday: The Best of Robert Downey, Jr.

What is arguably the best super-hero movie ever made is finally about to unveil it’s sequel, which is looking just as awesome! IRON MAN 2 opens in theaters nationwide on Friday, May 7 starring Mickey Rourke and Sam Rockwell as Tony Stark’s enemies. Returning to the role of brilliant billionaire Tony Stark is Robert Downey, Jr. An actor without any formal training, RDJ has made quite an impressive career for himself with numerous memorable roles. So, this week the Movie Geeks have compiled our favorite performances from Robert Downey, Jr.

Honorable Mention: WEIRD SCIENCE

This classic 80s-era John Hughes flick, inspired by the 1950’s era comic of the same title, hilariously captures the wonder and wild imagination of growing up boys, and not necessarily the coolest, most popular boys either. Granted, Robert Downey, Jr. plays Ian, one of the more popular kids, his somewhat limited role in WEIRD SCIENCE (1985) is still memorable and perhaps his first recognizable role, one year after playing Stewart in John Sayles’ BABY IT’S YOU.

10. KISS KISS BANG BANG

“My name is Harry Lockhart, and I’ll be your narrator,” Robert Downey, Jr says at the beginning of KISS KISS BANG BANG, “I don’t see another God damn narrator, so pipe down!”. The plot of KISS KISS BANG BANG has something to do with the murder of the estranged daughter of a tycoon, but plot here takes a backseat to style and a playful script that is complex and full of surprises. With its self-conscious satire, Writer-director Shane Black works the same side of the street as Tarantino, but clings tighter to hard-boiled noir narrative. Black tweaks the buddy cop formula he once owned (LETHAL WEAPON, etc) with creative flair (one guy’s gay, the other’s not even a cop) and KISS KISS BANG BANG was one of the best films of 2005. As for Downey, he is the most dexterous actor in American movies and the reports of his 90’s off screen screw-ups (which almost destroyed him but now seem like ancient history) seem to feed his life onscreen. Harry Lockhart is a sad and twitchy failed thief and the fact that he becomes an actor without realizing, or knowing why, or even particularly wanting to be an actor, is an ironic comment on Downey’s earlier predicaments.

09. BACK TO SCHOOL

How can you not completely love a movie where Robert Downey Jr. gets to play a weird, smart mouthed college kid named Derek that hangs out with Rodney Danger field! This movie is an all time classic! Although Downey Jr. is not the lead actor, he adds to the laugh factor of the movie with his crazy hair and snappy one liners.For example, when talking about a pep rally, Derek says “Violent ground acquisition games such as football is in fact a crypto-fascist metaphor for nuclear war.”… I think I like this guy! I think it’s a great example of where Downey Jr. came from, and how much he has accomplished!

08. NATURAL BORN KILLERS

Robert Downey, Jr. maintains his unique tongue and personality in Oliver Stone’s ultra-violent crime spree film NATURAL BORN KILLERS, based on a screenplay from Quentin Tarantino, but in this role he’s not in control. Downey plays Wayne Gale, an Australian reporter who hosts a sensationalist show called American Maniacs. His show profiles murderers, so Gale is all over following Mickey and Mallory, the modern-day Bonnie and Clyde, with full intent of publicizing them to the fullest extent of his own benefit. Gale is a weasle of a man, manipulative and cunning, but ultimately blinded by his need for fame and fortune. Downey manages to show a slightly different side of his abilities in NBK, eventually becoming a victim like any other, his own game of manipulation turned against himself in the end. Downey embodied the media shark we all love to hate.

07. CHARLIE BARTLETT

Charlie Bartlett is the story of a rich kid who was thrown out of his wealthy, private school and forced to attend public school. While at his new public school, Bartlett meets Principle Nathan Gardner (Downey Jr.), an alcoholic who really hates Bartlett. Downey Jr. plays the part of a concerned father, who is fighting with his inner demons rather well… especially when Bartlett starts dating his daughter. Downey Jr. is a great asset to this film and the young actors in it!

06. ZODIAC

While ZODIAC, David Fincher 2 ½ hour true crime epic, has its terrifying moments, it’s less a thriller than a thoroughly engrossing police procedural. It’s also a meticulous re-creation of the early ‘70’s, an era that Hollywood almost always gets wrong. Robert Downey Jr. played Paul Avery, a cynical and self-destructive star crime reporter who was one of three men who doggedly pursued the Zodiac killer for many years (Jake Gyllenhaal and Mark Ruffalo round out the trio). With his affected mannerisms, goatee, and scarves, Downey plays Avery as a dapper inquisitor, a dark forerunner to the Sherlock Holmes he would play over two years later. An arrogant boozer, Avery was clearly a difficult personality to work with and Downey skillfully shows how the grind of the Zodiac investigation unraveled him and drove him to an early grave. ZODIAC doesn’t have the neatly resolved ending required of Hollywood movies for, as in real life, the Zodiac case remains unsolved.

05. SHERLOCK HOLMES

Robert Downey, Jr. can’t play a Brit.  Surprisingly enough, this was an argument we weren’t hearing too much about in the month leading up to SHERLOCK HOLMES’ release late last year.  It probably had something to do with Downey’s incredible performance in TROPIC THUNDER the year before (see #4 for a little more on that).  Doubters or not, everyone was convinced once the film was released, and another, successful franchise had begun for the man who was persona non grata in Hollywood not all that long ago.  He brought an overpowering sense of cool to the Holmes character, but the sophistication and intelligence of the man was never in question.  To that end, Downey was the perfect choice for a Sherlock Holmes that was more adventurous than elementary.  Of course, the elementary didn’t seem to take a backseat on this one, either.  SHERLOCK HOLMES was an extremely enjoyable film, and, accent or not, it featured the perfect man for the job.

04. TROPIC THUNDER

“I know what dude I am. I’m the dude playin’ the dude, disguised as another dude!” That quote pretty much says it all. TROPIC THUNDER was a hilarious comedy with tons of great dialogue across the board, but Robert Downey, jr. stole the show… well, him and Tom Cruise (of all people) as Les Grossman. Robert Downey, Jr. takes a chance playing a white actor, playing a black actor in a movie about making an action-war movie. once you get that all untangled, let me know… or, you could just enjoy it. Downey was so good, he managed to pull off the seemingly impossible and earned himself an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor, despite the historical snubbing of comedic actors.

03. LESS THAN ZERO

Of Robert Downey, Jr.’s performance, Roger Ebert remarked, “flawless… Robert Downey, Jr’s acting here is so real, so subtle and so observant that it’s scary…” This was the performance that really made Hollywood stand up and take notice of just how good an actor he was. Pretty amazing, considering his 3 previous movies at the time were silly comedies, AND he had just been fired from the cast of Saturday Night Live. And sadly eerie that it was practically foreshadowing his own drug addiction in the years that followed. If for some reason you have never seen this movie, I got one word for you: Netflix.

02. CHAPLIN

His star turning performances in CHANCES ARE, AIR AMERICA and the hilarious SOAPDISH are what led to his leading role in the biopic CHAPLIN. As the title character, Downey’s portrayal of the Little Tramp is told through flashbacks. While the movie plays like an Access Hollywood story, it’s the small nuances of Downey’s performances that are striking. His uncanny performance was so impressionable that director Richard Attenborough added footage to the end of the film of the real Chaplin himself. Downey’s performance won rave reviews across the board and he received an Academy Award nod for Best Actor. Unfortunately, he lost the Oscar to Al Pacino, but won the BAFTA for Best Actor.

01. IRON MAN

Given IRON MAN 2 opens in theaters a mere three days from now, it may seem trendy to position IRON MAN in the #1 spot, but truth be told… Robert Downey, Jr. earned this spot. A great deal of the film’s success is owed to Downey and a great deal of Downey’s success in this role is owed to the fact that he was the perfect casting choice. It’s almost as though, when the Tony Stark character was created, the writers and artists traveled to the future, met Robert Downey, Jr. and said… HIM! That’s the guy! That IS Tony Stark! Perhaps they knew it would one day become a motion picture? Anyway, Downey’s uncanny natural coolness and cocky swagger is fully embodied in Tony Stark, making the role and the film incredibly enjoyable. Downey manages to nail that fine line between an egotistical, arrogant jerk that people hate and a brilliant, adventurous good guy we can’t help but love. As if struck from a mold sculpted decades before… could anyone else have possibly pulled off this role so perfectly?

Top Ten Tuesday: Creepy Character Actors

You just can’t keep a good serial killer down, especially when he only exists in our imaginations. Freddy Krueger returns once again this Friday, April 30, but this time without Robert Englund. Jackie Earle Haley slips into the scar makeup and knife-fingered glove this time around, hoping to give new life to an old favorite. Haley has already proven himself is short time to be one of this generation’s great character actors, with a knack for the dark and creepy side of the craft. In light of the new NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET film, We Are Movie Geeks has compiled our Top Ten List of the Best Creepy Character Actors.

Honorable Mention: RONDO HATTON

Of all the actors on this list, none has had a more tragic personal story as Rondo Hatton. As a young man Hatton was diagnosed with a rare pituitary disorder known as acromegalia (the studios claimed this was due to exposure to mustard gas in the first world war, but that was untrue), which resulted in the enlarging of his forehead, mouth, jaw, fingers, and feet. Casting directors exploited Hatton’s brutish appearance and he was given silent bit parts as background goons in several films. His breakout role was that of the mute henchman in the 1944 Sherlock Holmes film THE PEARL OF DEATH. This lead to key villain roles in SPIDER WOMAN STRIKES BACK and HOUSE OF HORRORS (both 1946). His final film THE BRUTE MAN (1946), about a handsome athlete accidentally scarred and turned into a monster, was almost the story of Hatton’s life. The disease which had enlarged his features also enlarged his heart and Hatton died soon after filming. His career was brief, but his story has always attracted the interest of horror movie buffs and his cult following is legion (a villain in the 1989 Disney film THE ROCKETEER was visually based on Hatton). Michael Berryman, who starred in THE HILLS HAVE EYES (1977 version) is another actor whose horror career was launched because of a health-related disfigurement.

10. GRAVE ZABRISKIE

Grace Zabriskie’s big bug eyes have become synonymous with creepiness and done their worst in scaring the ever-lovin’ crap out of me. The character actress has made the most out of all those juicy bit parts including her roles in CHILD’S PLAY 2, Gus Van Sant’s DRUGSTORE COWBOY, and THE GRUDGE. But it’s been David Lynch that’s cast her and those bulging eyes in many of his films. As the eerie psychic in David Lynch’s TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME, the crazy murderer Juana in WILD AT HEART (a role specifically written for her), and as the screwdriver brandishing woman in INLAND EMPIRE. Definitely check out the last film what she does with the tool will make your skin crawl. To date, the only role where Zabriskie wasn’t spooky was in Michael Bay’s ARMAGEDDON playing the spunky wife, Dottie, of an amateur astronomer who discovers the killer asteroid on a collision course with Earth. After being asked by to go fetch his military phone book, she zaps a look and yells “Excuse me? Am I wearing a sign that says Karl’s slave”? Yeah, not chilling, but even Zabriskie and her eyes deserve a break from the creep-fest once in a while.

09. PETER STORMARE

One of the best things Swedish actor Peter Stormare has going for him is that he has the look of a creepy, not quite sane psychopath. Combine this with his extraordinary talent as an actor and you’ve got a guy designed to fill roles meant to make your skin crawl. The Coen Bros gave America our first real taste of Stormare in their Oscar-winning opus FARGO, where Stormare played the silently menacing hitman with a penchant for pancakes and no qualms about committing bloody violence. Few performances have offered a character so creepy with so few words. He’d return to work under the Coen Bros in an equally creepy but comedic role as a Nihilist in THE BIG LEBOWSKI in 1998 and follow that as the only reason to consider seeing 8MM in 1999, playing the sleazy porno-directing creepozoid Dino Velvet. Amongst his lesser known roles to remember is his portrayal of the questionably sane, drug-addicted, drunken Santa-suit wearing Slovo in 13 MOONS. Stormare is probably best known for his tour-de-force performance as Satan, the fallen angel dressed in a white suit that torments Keanu Reeves in CONSTANTINE, urging him to cross over to the dark side. Stormare was perfect for this role and played it to perfection, offering what could possibly be considered the creepiest version of Lucifer ever captured on film.

08. CRISPIN GLOVER

Crispin Glover started his creepy resume like any normal kid… a pilot that never got picked up and a small role on THE FACTS OF LIFE. He gained some serious creepy, weird cred when he landed the role of George McFly in a little trilogy known as BACK TO THE FUTURE, maybe you’ve heard of it? His roles in such films as WILD AT HEART, THE DOORS as Andy Warhol, WHAT’S EATING GILBERT GRAPE, THE WIZARD OF GORE, and CHARLIE’S ANGELS have really helped out his creepy screen persona. Glover’s slim, pale appearance adds to the appeal of his body language, which screams stay away from me I’m a weirdo! These characteristics of Crispin Glover are most clearly defined in the remake of WILLARD, in which Glover plays an odd loner who can communicate with a hoard of rats, exacting revenge on those who have done him wrong. Having a connection with rats is more than enough for you to earn a disturbed status. Crispin Glover has also lent his uniquely disturbing voice to a animated films, such as the monstrous Grendel in BEOWULF. Recently, he took on the roles of The Knave of Hearts in Tim Burton’s ALICE IN WONDERLAND and Phil in HOT TUB TIME MACHINE. I honestly cannot picture a more delightfully creepy actor that I would prefer in a villainous role!

07. PAUL NASCHY

Paul Naschy (born Jacinto Molina) was the undisputed king of Spanish horror cinema and throughout his 40-year career played Dracula, the Mummy, Mr. Hyde, Fu Manchu, and the Hunchback. But to his legions of fans worldwide, Naschy is best known as El Hombre Lobo aka Waldemar Daninsky, the werewolf character he played twelve times between 1968 and 2004 (though these were not connected to each other plot-wise. Each was a free-standing story with different origins for his lycanthropy). The Hombre Lobo films were low-budget, cliched, and poorly-dubbed, but for the dedicated horror fan they are immensely entertaining especially the first, FRANKENSTEIN’S BLOODY TERROR (and no, theres no Frankenstein in it!). Paul Naschy died this past November but will be remembered as one of the most prolific and dedicated actors in horror history.

06. BARBARA STEELE

Exotic British actress Barbara Steele, with her large sinister eyes and unusual beauty, would have made this list even if she had appeared in nothing but her first starring role; Italian director Mario Bava’s BLACK SUNDAY in 1960. Steele was an international sensation as a seductress from beyond the grave and had a face that could embody both innocence and evil at the same time (even with spike-punctures in it!). Barbara Steele was lured to Hollywood where she was perfectly cast as Vincent Price’s vengeful wife in Roger Corman’s THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM (1961), but she did not enjoy making films in the U.S. Ms Steele fled the set of the Elvis Presley vehicle FLAMING STAR (she was replaced with Barbara Eden) and went back to Europe where she starred in a string of wonderful Gothic horror films such as THE GHOST (1963), CASTLE OF BLOOD (1964), NIGHTMARE CASTLE (1965), and THE SHE BEAST (1966). Directors Frederico Fellini, Louis Malle, Jonathan Demme, and David Cronenberg have all attempted to tap Steele’s strange allure by casting her in their movies but BLACK SUNDAY remains her showcase.

05. CHRISTOPHER WALKEN

While its true that Mr. Walken is clearly a reoccurring favorite of the Movie Geeks, what would a collection of the best “creepy” actors be without him? Christopher Walken’s middle name might as well be “creepy” as he’s practically built his career on his uncanny ability to play characters of the darker, spine-chillingly frightful nature. He’s played the dangerously volatile mob boss Vincenzo Ciccotti (TRUE ROMANCE), always delivering the fear factor that keeps people in line. He’s played a disgruntled war vet in PULP FICTION, a alien abductee in COMMUNION, a troubled dude that sees the future in THE DEAD ZONE, the bitter archangel Gabriel (THE PROPHECY), and even a vampire who believes he’s beaten his craving for blood in THE ADDICTION. The number and types of roles Walken has played are countless, but one thing is almost always certain… with a few equally commendable exceptions, Walken always adds in his own unique style of creepiness into every role that crosses his path.

04. CHRISTOPHER LEE

That baritone voice of his tends to cause a pronounced trail of goosebumps running down one’s arm and a sound that many a movie geek would recognize anywhere. While Christopher Lee may be Count Dooku of STAR WARS and Saruman of THE LORD OF THE RINGS to today’s generation of young film goers, once upon a time he was Count Dracula in DRACULA (1958) of the classic Hammer Horror Films and Bond assassin Scaramanga in THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN (1974). The sexual seductiveness of these two roles went hand in hand with how macabre these violent characters really were. Lee was equally villainous as Count de Rochfort in THE THREE MUSKETEERS (1973) and THE FOUR MUSKETEERS (1974) and director Tim Burton embraced Lee’s creepiness five times with parts in SLEEPY HOLLOW, CORPSE BRIDE, CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY, SWEENEY TODD, and as the recently as ALICE IN WONDERLAND in the brief Jabberwocky role. Lee was never more ghoulish as when he played Lord Summerisle in the 1973 British horror film, THE WICKER MAN, a role and film that’s always made the skin crawl and has developed a cult following. A British produced sequel, THE WICKER TREE, is set to be released late this year. Sir Christopher Lee is one of those classic thespians who effortlessly transitions between leading man parts and traditional character actor roles. It’s in those secondary, scarier roles that Lee will be remembered most.

03. BRAD DOURIF

Most notable for his voice than his intense stare and chameleon-like creepiness, Brad Dourif, the only person on this list to have been nominated for an Academy Award, broke onto the scene in 1975’s ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST, the movie for which he god the nod. 35 years and over 100 films later, Dourif is mostly known for the man who gave the voice to the serial killer in a Good Guy doll, Chucky, his voice. Four sequels to CHILD’S PLAY later, and Dourif’s voice is as iconic to the Chucky character as Robert Englund is to Freddy Krueger or even, dare I say, Boris Karloff is to Frankenstein’s Monster. Dourif has never allowed himself a moment’s break, turning in fine performances in films like THE EXORCIST III, BODY PARTS, and ALIEN: RESURRECTION. He even found time in his career for the small screen with an ongoing role on HBO’s “Deadwood.” Even with stunning performance as Grima Wormtongue in THE LORD OF THE RINGS: TWO TOWERS and RETURN OF THE KING, Dourif has always gone back to dance with the genre that brought him, and gave a tremendous performance in both of Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN films. As engaging and unforgettable an actor as Dourif is, though, it will always be Chucky’s voice fans hear whenever he speaks. So much so, in fact, that no one could possibly step in should a remake ever be put together.

02. BORIS KARLOFF

This list would not be close to complete without including the original Frankenstein! Karloff was born William Henry Pratt (now we know why Spencer from THE HILLS is so frightening… they share a last name!), but changed it into the name he made famous, Boris Karloff. He played is famous Frankenstein in FRANKENSTEIN, THE BRIDE OF KRANKENSTEIN and SON OF FRANKENSTEIN. Karloff is still widely known as one of the original masters of horror, playing Imhotep in THE MUMMY, Dr. Neimann in HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN, a mad scientist in FRANKENSTEIN 1970, and Gaffney in the 1932 film SCARFACE where he was gunned down in an alley. Even without the makeup, Karloff could be quite creepy, such as his roles in THE BODY SNATCHER and CORRIDORS OF BLOOD. Karloff was all over the horror scale throughout his life, until his death in 1969. He was so innovative that he actually earned 2 stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, one for his work in film, and the other for his work in television.

01. VINCENT PRICE

King of the Grand Guignol. Merchant of Menace. The True Master of Horror. Whatever the unofficial title, there is no denying the force Vincent Price is in the world of horror. Should the film Gods ever deem a Mount Rushmore of horror icons ever created, there is no way it could possibly be put together without Price’s face firmly chiseled, probably right alongside our #2 on this list, Boris Karloff. With nearly 200 films to his credit between 1938 and 1993, Price quickly became the go-to man for menacing roles and roles of deranged men out for vengeance on those who had wronged him. Films like HOUSE OF USHER (along with 10, other films based on works by Edgar Allen Poe), WITCHFINDER GENERAL, and THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES would have surely come and gone without much notation in film history were it not for the eerie yet ominous visage of the leading man in each of them. With a voice just as memorable as his appearance, it became quite clear when Michael Jackson came to record his song “Thriller” Price had to deliver the rap midway through. Vincent Price’s legacy on the horror genre as well as the industry as a whole is irrefutable, and there are few who question who was truly the master of horror.

Top Ten Tuesday: Outrageous 80’s Action Flicks

Beck’s lyrics come to mind… “I’m a loser, baby, so why don’t you kill me?” For the team of fugitive ex-super secret CIA operatives in Sylvain White’s new motion picture adaptation of the DC graphic novel THE LOSERS, this could be there theme song. THE LOSERS opens nationwide in theaters on Friday, April 23, and it has the Movie Geeks reveling in their nostalgic action past. We’ve opened up the Top Ten time machine once again and stepped back into everyone’s favorite decade of Devo… the 1980’s, putting together our favorite Outrageous Action Flicks from the era.

10. COBRA (1986)

You want ’80s?  You want outrageous, gratuitous violence on psychotic killers at the hands of one of the coolest heroes in recent history?  You want Stallone wearing aviator sunglasses, pulling the matchstick his character chews on out of his mouth just to sip on a Coors during a grocery store shootout?  Hell, yes, you want COBRA.  Whether it’s the sunglasses, the onslaught of hokey quips (“You’re the disease.  I’m the cure.”), the way Lieutenant Marion ‘Cobra’ Cobretti decks out his superior officer without a hint of being suspended, or the flimsy direction by one George P. Cosmatos (he also directed RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II and LEVIATHAN to round out your ’80s, nostalgia trifecta), just about everything in COBRA screams the point in time it was released.  It’s a toss-up who wins out between Stallone and Schwarzenegger when it comes to who rocked the ’80s harder with their over-the-top action, but COBRA is certainly a staple of the era.  Now, who wants a Coors?

09. COMMANDO (1985)

In 1985’s COMMANDO, after retired Colonel John Matrix’s (Arnold Schwarzenegger) daughter is kidnapped, the ex-special ops officer is forced into combat mode. He must assassinate a Latin American President or a South American dictator who’s holding Matrix’s little girl, Jenny (Alyssa Milano), will kill her. Matrix unleashes some over-the-top violence and many of the bad dudes hilariously meet their demise by shoulder rocket launchers, being impaled by steel rods, or grenades and rapid gunfire. With some help from Rae Dawn Chong, Schwarzenegger takes down an entire team of mall security, along with a phone booth, while chasing down a lead to his daughter’s whereabouts. No outrageous action film would be complete without Arnold swinging through the mall like he was Tarzan. Besides being one of the most outrageous action films of the 80’s, COMMANDO is also known for having some of greatest one-liners. After Matrix breaks the neck and kills one of the guards on the plane, he tells the flight attendant, “do me a favor – don’t disturb my friend. He’s dead tired.” No one was better at delivering those deadpan lines than Arnold as was later evident in 1987’s “If it bleeds, we can kill it” PREDATOR.

08. INVASION U.S.A. (1985)

We’re well aware that INVASION U.S.A. is neither the all-around best action flick of the 80’s nor the best flick from Chuck Norris (but, don’t tell him that!) however, it certainly ranks rather high up there for the most outrageous. Norris plays Matt Hunter, a one man army who finds himself up against a spy with plans to invade and take over the United States. Ludicrous? Sure. Hilarious and filled with absurdly over-the-top and fun action? Absolutely! This little 80’s gem, spawned out of the late cold war era paranoia, features Norris calm and cool (as always) busting communist butts with a straight face and leather gloves. Perhaps the most memorable is the big finale, the last showdown, where Norris walks into an office building with one helluva heavy machine gun, blowing holes everywhere he turns, climaxing in a ridiculously awesome old west style duel between two men with bazookas. Yes, that’s right… how fast can you draw a bazooka? Not as fast as Chuck Norris!

07. SAVAGE STREETS (1984)

SAVAGE STREETS is a sleazy tale of high school revenge that’s a must for fans of gritty exploitation and over-the top action. Made during Linda Blair’s less-than-wholesome phase (posing naked, getting arrested for cocaine, dating Rick James, etc…) eleven years after she turned heads with her performance in THE EXORCIST, SAVAGE STREETS features a hideous new wave soundtrack, great 80’s L.A. locations, punk outfits, lots of neon, and a cat-fight in the gym shower. SAVAGE STREETS is Linda Blair’s showcase film and her finest hour. The chubby, big-haired, spandex-clad vigilant-ette chews her way through atrociously vulgar dialog as she hunts down the gang who raped her deaf little sister and threw her best friend off a bridge. The climax is a classic as she shoots her would-be rapist in the kneecaps with a crossbow but he keeps coming after her with arrows sticking out of both knees! “Too bad you’re not double-jointed” Linda snarls, “because if you were, you’d be able to bend over and kiss your ass goodbye!” SAVAGE STREETS is prime 80’s cheese and I feel sorry for anyone who’s never seen it.

06. FIRST BLOOD (1982)

“In town you’re the law, out here it’s me. Don’t push it. Don’t push it or I’ll give you a war you won’t believe.”

Admit it… this has got to be one of the most recognizable and bad ass 80’s action flick quotes spoken. And, who else could deliver it quite like Sly Stallone? In his debut as the deadly good guy with issues John Rambo, Sylvester Stallone left a mark on hard-R action cinema that remains an influence today… any, not just because he’s STILL making RAMBO films. While FIRST BLOOD would spawn several sequels, none of them came nearly as close to the first at presenting a healthy balance between outrageous action and gritty realism. Stallone even pulls off some respectable drama in FIRST BLOOD, developing a layer of social commentary to enhance the box office appeal of it’s graphic violence. To experience Stallone in his pre-steroid, youthfully ambitious hay day, you need not venture further than two films… ROCKY and FIRST BLOOD.

05. DEATH WISH 3 (1985)

The preposterous DEATH WISH 3 sends Charles Bronson to a New York City portrayed as a vast burned-out wasteland with tenements occupied by terrified old people and the entire city dominated by gangs of unwashed thugs (and not a cop in sight). I’ve seen DEATH WISH 3 many times over the years and it becomes more of a parody as it ages. The action is overblown to comic proportions and I lose count of all the people who are shot, blown up, stabbed, beaten, pushed off of rooftops, and generally maimed during the course of the film. DEATH WISH 3 plays like Charles Bronson’s 90-minute shooting gallery. Thugs pop up from behind cars, buildings, and storefronts, all to be mowed down in a sea of gunfire. Bronson, usually a silent killer in his films, makes all kinds of humorous quips before letting loose the carnage and DEATH WISH 3 is just great. I recently realized the movie’s lead villain, a reverse-mohawked goon called ‘The Giggler’ is played by the same actor who played Richie Cunningham’s mysterious brother Chuck in the first season of ‘Happy Days”… Madness!!!

04. PREDATOR (1987)

“If it bleeds, we can kill it.”

Yes, Arnie.  You, you most certainly can.  And killed half the jungle in which PREDATOR takes place, I might add.  These were the days, the 1980s.  The days where you could take out half a rain forest (and most of the indigenous wildlife that called it home, as well) to give a marauding alien that just wiped out one of your men a flesh wound.  No Rainforest Alliance to cause you any grief.  Hell, they’d probably understand and pick up Jesse Ventura’s Old Painless to knock down a few trees themselves.  Speaking of Ventura, the presence of a pro wrestler in a role such as this was something the ’80s were known for.  Action movies.  Not the Disney-fied, plastic crap Dwayne Johnson acts in these days.  PREDATOR is one for the books, an awesome story told in an incredible location and delivered with the maximum amount of violence you can pack in.  The fact that John McTiernan and crew decided to give Arnold Schwarzenegger an antagonist that could clearly kick his ass was an equal stroke of brilliance.  PREDATOR is grand action at its very best, and it is its placement here at the #4 spot that just tells you how much truly great action movies there were at this time.

03. THE ROAD WARRIOR (1981)

Third on our list is the ultra-violent sequel and one of the most influential exploitation films of the 1980’s, THE ROAD WARRIOR. Since WW3, gasoline has become gold to what’s left of humanity that still relishes their cars and embittered cop, Max Rockatansky (Mel Gibson), having made it through the hell of having his family murdered in the last film, MAD MAX, comes to the rescue of what’s left of civilization against the bad-assed biker gang led by hockey-face masked Lord Humungus. Max is persuaded to run the last tanker of gas out of the compound in a B-29 type rig equipped with manned gunners and is aided by the chimp-like Feral Kid and the Molotov cocktail throwing Autogyro Pilot. Director George Miller’s film is full of these types of colorful caricatures. The post-apocalyptic chase scene on the highways of the Australian desert, set to Brian May’s heart-pounding-in-your-ears score, is exhilarating, making THE ROAD WARRIOR quite the cinematic journey.

02. THE KILLER (1989)

Truly, we could not discuss outrageous action flicks without mentioning director John Woo, who has made an international name for himself synonymous with over-the-top violence. However, Woo has an uncanny ability to glorify his violence to a point of becoming a thing of beauty. No other filmmaker has taken ultra-violence to a level equivalent to ballet, graceful and graphic, all in one magnificent spectacle. Chow Yun-Fat plays Ah Jong, an assassin fed up with the biz that agrees to one final job with the intention of using the score to make right a wrong that haunts him. Having accidentally blinded a young singer with whom he has fond feelings, Jong finds his enlightened endeavor far more treacherous than he ever expected when his is double-crossed by his own boss. John Woo wrote and directed this stellar genre masterpiece, combining brilliant cinematography and editing with great performances and a legendary story that ranks amidst the best in art-house action.

01. ROBOCOP (1987)

Director Paul Verhoeven has made a career out of proving “outrageous” can also be as much modern art as it is fun. Well, so maybe not “art” in the most traditional sense, but certainly along the same vein as Andy Warhol and Ed Wood, if they were one in the same. ROBOCOP is sci-fi/action fun at its finest and marks Verhoeven’s breakout U.S. movie, later leading to such similarly kitsch klassics as TOTAL RECALL, SHOWGIRLS and STARSHIP TROOPERS. Peter Weller plays a cop killed in the line of duty… almost, then brought back to “life” as a part-man, mostly robot crime fighter of the future. In the now corrupt, corporate-run country, Robocop must uphold the law in a seemingly lawless society, while struggling to maintain what little humanity he still possesses. The action is extreme, the story and dialogue is slightly off-beat and the villain is rich and juicy, aided by stop-motion special effects for the absurdly over-weaponized ED-209, which ultimately poses Robocop’s most deadly obstacle to restoring peace, order and justice. Despite two remakes, the original is still by far the best and becomes our number one pick for Outrageous 80’s Action Flicks.

Top Ten Tuesday: Marital Comedies

What’s so funny about marriage? Well, depending on the circumstances, marriage can be painfully funny. Director Shawn Levy returns with his newest comedy DATE NIGHT, set to hit theaters this Friday, April 9. DATE NIGHT stars Steve Carell and Tina Fey in a film about a married couple whose little white lie turns into a hilariously disastrous adventure. In anticipation of this wildly anticipated new comedy, We Are Movie Geeks have compiled our own list of the Top Ten Marital Comedies.

10. PARENTHOOD

Sure, the movie is primarily about the thrills and turbulence of being a parent, but with that comes the equally thrilling and turbulent ordeals of married life, which is hilariously captured in this early Ron Howard-directed comedy. The story focuses on the Buckman family, a couple played by Steve Martin and Mary Steenburgen, as they stumble through raising their children. The movie is a playfully enjoyable ride, but touches on some things that come up in a marriage with kids that happen in real life, things that create stress for couples. In this way, PARENTHOOD is an interesting study of married life, different philosophies and mistakes. Of course, the whole Buckman family plays a crucial role in the movie, with a supporting cast that includes Dianne Wiest (in an Oscar-nominated performance), Jason Robards, Rick Moranis, Tom Hulce, Martha Plimpton, Joaquin Phoenix and, yes… even Keanu Reeves. Through the thick and thin of it all, PARENTHOOD makes marriage and family life seem oh so painfully funny.

09. THE BIRDCAGE

Set in the Florida community of South Beach, comes director Mike Nichols 1996’s, bust-a-gut THE BIRDCAGE, the American version of the 1978 French comedy, LA CAGE AUX FOLLES. In his over the top performance, Robin Williams portrays Armand, owner of the nightclub The Birdcage, home to drag queen shows and Nathan Lane plays Armand’s longtime companion, Albert. In trying to disguise his Jewish, gay, and nightclub owning parents from his prospective, conservative in-laws, a senator (Gene Hackman) and his wife (Dianne Wiest), a recently engaged Val pleads with them to pretend to be a straight couple. Chaos ensues after Albert agrees to the charade by becoming Mrs. Armand Coleman. THE BIRDCAGE hilariously portrays the everyday problems and joys of any couple and shows that these two are totally committed to each other when Armand lovingly tells Albert. “What a pain in the ass you are. And it’s true: you’re not young, you’re not new, and you do make people laugh. And me? I’m still with you because you make me laugh. So you know what I got to do? I got to sell my plot in Key Biscayne so I can get one next to you in that shithole Los Copa, so I never miss a laugh.”

08. ARSENIC AND OLD LACE

From the director of IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE, Frank Capra, ARSENIC AND OLD LACE was one of the earlier black comedies, a genre that wasn’t so hateful in 1944 when the Cary Grant-starring film came out.  Back then, the idea of a man who has just been married has to make the decision on whether or not to introduce his new bride to his pair of homicidal aunts could be pulled off a bit more lightheartedly than it can today.  Based on the stage play, the film pretty much stays on one set, immersing the audience into this house of insanity and murderous hilarity.  All the while, Grant, known for being as much of a jokester as he was a man of dramatic flare, does an excellent job as a man who is slowly trying to keep his newly acquired marriage and his sanity intact.  With nonstop antics hitting us from left and right, ARSENIC AND OLD LACE is easily remembered as one of the grandest and most off-the-wall hilarious black comedies in film history.

07. SEEMS LIKE OLD TIMES

Chevy Chase.  Goldie Hawn.  Charles Grodin.  Neil Simon.  “Benson”s Robert Guillaume.  These are just a handful of the reasons why SEEMS LIKE OLD TIMES is such a modern classic.  It’s screwball comedy at its absolute best as Hawn and Grodin play a happily married couple whose lives are turned upside down when her ex-husband, Chase, also a fugitive for armed robbery, decides to crash at their place.  Almost forgotten in the 30 years since its release, the film, memorable as it is, has been relegated to running on TBS in the middle of the night.  However, do yourself a huge favor, seek this movie out.  You won’t regret it.  Chase and Hawn are precious together, and this film and FOUL PLAY would make for a nice double feature.  And, whether you think the film is an absolute laugh-riot from beginning to end, you won’t get the thought of chicken pepperoni out of your head any time soon.

06. ADAM’S RIB (1949)

George Cukor directed this charmingly funny film about a married couple who find themselves caught up in the battle of the sexes when they face off in the court of law. No, they aren’t getting divorced. The film was made before divorce was a socially acceptable topic in the movies. Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn play a married couple, both of whom are lawyers, that find themselves on opposite sides of a case regarding a woman who shot her husband. Through the events of the trial, the couple’s professional head-bashing gradually begins spilling over into their personal lives, resulting in a comical, classical struggle of man versus woman.

05. THE OUT-OF-TOWNERS (1970)

Every traveler’s ‘Trip from Hell’ nightmares were played out in the riotously funny 1970 movie THE-OUT-OF-TOWNERS. When couple Jack Lemmon and Sandy Dennis travel from Ohio to Manhattan for a job interview, they’re forced to deal with lost luggage, rude New Yorkers, a transit strike, a blizzard, a hotel that won’t honor their reservation, a mugging, and faulty dental work. Jack Lemmon plays high-speed neurosis to perfection, Sandy Dennis is his perfect hapless complement, and the situations just get funnier as the movie plays out. Neil Simon’s screenplay is at times shocking and dark, but THE-OUT-OF-TOWNERS sustains hilarity up to its twist punch line ending. The Steve Martin-Goldie Hawn remake from 1999 had its share of laughs but lacked the charm and time-capsule quality of the original.

04. THE LONG LONG TRAILER

Vincente Minnelli directed the comedy THE LONG LONG TRAILER, designed as a vehicle for Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz who were at the height of their television popularity as America’s favorite couple. Lucy wants a ‘life on wheels’ so demands obedient husband Desi buy the title vehicle and they make it their permanent residence. It’s basically a series of slapstick episodes, with all manner of physical comedy and bickering. A humiliated Desi knocks down signs and walls trying to maneuver the behemoth while Lucy wants to collect large rocks commemorating the places they’ve been, which start to weigh down their traveling home. The highlight of the movie is the sequence where they go over the mountain, which slowly builds to hilarious crescendo as they climb to the top of the pass. Lucy and Desi basically played their characters from “I Love Lucy” and worked perfectly together, making THE LONG LONG TRAILER a fun time for everyone and a huge hit in 1953.

03. SHE’S HAVING A BABY

All newlyweds know that feeling when the honeymoon is over and real married life begins. So, when Jake Briggs (Kevin Bacon) realizes his wife Kristy (Elizabeth McGovern) is pregnant, the two try to cope with the realities of impending parenthood in the 1988 film SHE’S HAVING A BABY. Director John Hughes’ most personal film mixes comedy and romance by honestly portraying the thing that society expects from grownups and its amusing to watch the ways in which Jake has troubles going from his selfish, single lifestyle to being a responsible, giving adult. Kristy seemingly has no problems with the idea of a mortgage, subdivisions and kids and continually shows deference to Jake’s maturity issues. In a goofy way, Bacon is continually trying to adjust to the new duties as husband and upcoming fatherhood, while his buddy, Davis (Alec Baldwin), is always distracting him by trying to lead him back down the bachelorhood path. The only real drama in the film comes when Kristy goes through a difficult delivery of their baby and Jake realizes “in the end, I realized that I took more than I gave, I was trusted more than I trusted, and I was loved more than I loved. And what I was looking for was not to be found but to be made .” SHE’S HAVING A BABY has a delightful ending credits scene where celebrities made cameos offering various suggestions of what Jake and Kristy should name their baby son.

02. RAISING ARIZONA

Petty criminal HI McDonnough (NIcholas Cage) and police officer Edwina (Holly Hunter) are an unlikely couple, but some things are universal in love and marriage. The couple desperately wants a child and will do just about anything to get one of their own. After trying the traditional method with no positive results, the couple hears that Mr. and Mrs. Nathan Arizona, the local furniture tycoons, are blessed with quintuplets. HI and Edwina decide it just isn’t fair that the Arizona couple have so many, while they have none, and they go to great lengths to kidnap one of the Arizona babies. But getting the baby isn’t as easy as getting away with the crime. They have to contend with a host of shady characters, many of which are gross stereotypes of the worst that America has to offer.

01. THE WAR OF THE ROSES

Whoever said marriage is bliss apparently forgot to tell Oliver and Barbara Rose. Danny Devito directed this extremely dark comedy about the perils of marriage, starring Michael Dougas and Kathleen Turner. Mr. and Mrs. Rose are happy at first, but once Barbara begins to wonder what her life without her husband in the picture would be like, she’s driven to force him out of the house by whatever means necessary. What ensues is a marital battle royale, the ultimate battle of the sexes, as Oliver and Barbara collide head first over who will keep the house. Devito also fills the role of the divorce lawyer, watching as this epic war unfolds. Douglas and Turner are extraordinary in this film, which begins light and peaceful and grows exponentially dark and claustrophobic as the tension and maliciousness between the couple grows out of control, eventually climaxing with a delightfully dark, non-Hollywood ending.

Top Ten Tuesday: The Man Crush

It could be in honor of Gerard Butler hitting theaters this weekend in THE BOUNTY HUNTER. It could be in honor of Jude Law taking out your kidneys in REPO MEN. It could be for Michael Shannon who looks great in eyeliner in THE RUNAWAYS, but I kind of doubt it. Whatever this list is in honor of, it makes us guys here at We Are Movie Geeks proud to know that we can stand up, look at a select group of men, and say, “Yes, I have a crush on that guy.” Crack open a Pabst Blue Ribbon, put on the AC/DC, and scope out this list of the top 10 men us guys just love to love.

10. Ryan Reynolds

Ryan Reynolds is, quite simply, the man every man wants to be. With an incredible physique and a top-notch sense of humor that is often embedded in geek culture, Reynolds is the best of both worlds. What other actor gets to be both Green Lantern and Deadpool and in HAROLD AND KUMAR? It’s an unfair world, I tell you. Wait, he’s married to Scarlett Johansson? Why do I even bother trying anymore?

9. Johnny Depp

Sure, Johnny Depp might be a little too “pretty boy” to be on a list with the likes of Clint Eastwood, Charles Bronson, and Steve McQueen (in case you haven’t jumped ahead already, they’re down there somewhere), but the Captain Jack Sparrow role alone boosts Depp’s love from the guys.  Just the fact that he based his performance in the PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN films on Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards makes Depp A-okay in most guy’s books.  Throw in awesome performances in films like DEAD MAN, DONNIE BRASCO, ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO, and PUBLIC ENEMIES, and you’ve got a guy that just about every man can’t help but love, pretty boy or not.

8. Sean Connery

Who else could embody the charming, handsome British agent, James Bond but the one and only Sean Connery. His superior prowess along with his signature Scottish accent made him so appealing as Robin Hood in ROBIN AND MARIAN, King Arthur in FIRST KNIGHT, and Jim Mallone in THE UNTOUCHABLES. He brings testosterone levels to a new high as the formidable Captain Marko Ramius in THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER and the immortal Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez in HIGHLANDER. We’ll take a Connery, served shaken, not stirred, anytime.

7. Clint Eastwood

What is there to say about Clint Eastwood that hasn’t already been said? The dude is unstoppable. He started his career from a young age and quickly established himself as a heartthrob to both and females alike. The gals wanted to be with him, and the dudes wanted to be him. There was probably a time where every guy who considered himself a film lover didn’t have a poster of DIRTY HARRY or THE OUTLAW JOSEY WALES on their walls, honoring the man in the title role. Clint has played some of the most notable men in history including the aforementioned Dirty Harry Callahan, the Man with No Name and his share of bitter old guys with a chip on their shoulder. Even Clint doesn’t play the traditional tough guy he used to, you can still find him directing fine films and giving himself starring roles in nearly all of them. If Clint ain’t a man crush for you, what in God’s name is wrong with you?

6. Denzel Washington

Denzel, the man with the perfect face. Literally, people who analyze such things have determined that Denzel’s face is perfectly symmetrical, which makes him grade A in the beauty world, I guess. In the world of the man crush, it accounts for one more aspect that makes the man so bad ass. Who doesn’t love Denzel Washington, a man who’s stepped toe-to-toe with some of the biggest, most notable, other man crushes in Hollywood from Gene Hackman in CRIMSON TIDE to Ethan Hawke in TRAINING DAY to Russell Crowe in VIRTUOSITY and AMERICAN GANGSTER. King Kong doesn’t have shit on him, and King Kong never did it while looking so cool.

5. Christian Bale

Christian Bale didn’t start out as a man crush. Most remember him first from EMPIRE OF THE SUN, and it’s just wrong to have a man crush on a 13-year-old boy. It wasn’t until AMERICAN PSYCHO that he really stepped it up in the world, a film where he plays a rich playboy who spends his nights slaughtering homeless people and innocent women. He would then go on to play another rich playboy with an alternate night job, and it was the ultimate one of those, at that. With BATMAN BEGINS and THE DARK KNIGHT, the man came into his own. Now, just about every project he chooses becomes that much more interesting simply from his presence. Bale, we love you, buddy. Stay rich, and stay cool.

4. Kurt Russell

While other actors dominated leading man roles and hero figures in the 1980s, character actor Kurt Russell was always where it was at. Since his childhood days working for Disney, Russell has proven himself to be incredibly versatile. Like Ryan Reynolds, Russell straddles a line between the badass with roles in films like ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK and THE THING and the comedic in films like DEATH PROOF and BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA. He pulls off both with finesse, and for my money, he has the best laugh in the business.

3. Steve McQueen

Steve McQueen was known as “The King of Cool”. He had an everyman quality about him that most guys would want to emulate. McQueen made playing a game of chess with Faye Dunaway in THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR so seductive, the frequent escape attempts of Captain Virgil Hilts, aka “The Cooler King,” in THE GREAT ESCAPE so ballsy, and the cool-as-a-cucumber Fireman in THE TOWERING INFERNO so brave. What card-carrying male wouldn’t want to be a race car and a motorcycle driver in their spare time?

2. Robert Downey, Jr.

Make no mistake, the fact that Robert Downey, Jr. was a “bad boy” for so many years didn’t hurt his chances of making it on this list.  But, then, Downey did something every comic book fanboy has wanted to do at some point or another in their lives.  He strapped himself into the Iron Man suit, and he looked damned good doing it, too.  Now, with new-found success, Downey is just as cool off the screen as he is on it, whether he’s giving slick answers on the red carpet or sporting a bright, blue tie to the Oscars.  Robert Downey, Jr. has embodied the Tony Stark character (the fact that he continues to sport that goatee while he’s NOT shooting an IRON MAN film makes most fanboys love him even more).  Who can deny him his rightful place as one with the man crush?

1. Charles Bronson

Charles Bronson. The name should strike fear and awe in every film lovers’ heart. The man behind the “tough guy” icon has starred in some of the greatest films known to man and has constantly kicked ass and taken names in every one. Some of the most notable flicks include THE GREAT ESCAPE, DEATH WISH (I-V), THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN, THE DIRTY DOZEN, ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST and tons more. Bronson didn’t speak english as a child (despite being born in Pennsylvania) yet found this challenge easy to overcome. His early roles involved him beating folks up, playing boxers and soldiers and often henchman. He found his place though in the much loved cult series DEATH WISH, playing the hard boiled architect turned vigilante, Paul Kersey. The first film spawned 5 sequels and ended with Bronson’s final film, DEATH WISH V: THE FACE OF DEATH. Bronson died in September of 2003 of pneumonia and Alzheimers disease. I think it goes without saying that he fought till the very end and will surely be remembered as one of the greatest tough guys in film history, and a true man-crush/role model to male audience members everywhere.

Top Ten Tuesday: Professional Killers – The Good Guys

Some people work at a desk, pushing paper… some people do manual labor, working outdoors, or in factories… some manage others and some are managed… but, a select few highly-skilled folks kill for a living. These professional killers are a lonesome breed, focused and cold, fully committed to their trade. If you were ever meet one,well… it probably means you’re not going to have a good day. However, at least in Hollywood, these mysterious assassins are not all bad guys. These movies tell us some of these skilled takers of lives actually have hearts, can love another or put their training to use for a better good. This week’s Top Ten Tuesday is all about the movies that feature Professional Killers – The Good Guys.

10. LA FEMME NIKITA

Ah, Luc Besson with your love for professional killer movies. Where would we be without you? But, some of you may not know the movie Besson is most recognized for, LEON: THE PROFESSIONAL, isn’t the first time he created a hired assassin for the silver screen. In 1990, Besson wrote and directed LA FEMME NIKITA starring the luxurious Anne Parillaud. Now, before you jump in and say, “Wait, I thought that was the USA show starring Peta Wilson that always came on after wrestling on Monday night,” let me step in front of you and say, “Yeah, you’re right, but that show was based on Besson’s movie.” In case you’re not aware of the film, it stars Parillaud as a troubled girl who commits a felony. Instead of going to jail, she is taken by the government to be trained as a hitman… hitwoman… hit-person. Multitudes of violence ensue. While LEON is a more noted film (and probably for good reason), LA FEMME NIKITA, or just NIKITA, as it was known in its native country, is a visually daring and extremely cool entry into the assassin sub-genre. Parillaud kicks ass and looks great doing it, and Besson’s continuously moving camera never lets us miss a moment of the action. The film is so memorable, in fact, that it was previously remade in 1993 as POINT OF NO RETURN starring Bridget Fonda. The 1997 TV series starring Pita Wilson was a huge success that ran for five seasons, and, in fact, CW just announced recently they are bringing a new take on the film to their network. Starring Maggie Q, their version is simply called NIKITA. Such a long journey for such a badass chick.

09. ROAD TO PERDITION

Sam Mendes’ sophomore film follows Michael Sullivan, a heavy for the Chicago Irish mob betrayed by one of his own. After the murder of his wife and youngest son, Michael escapes with his eldest son and begins to pursue the one responsible — a fellow mobster and son of the boss, seeking to cover the tracks of his own crimes. Paul Newman earned his final Oscar nomination as John Rooney, the mob boss and surrogate father to Sullivan, while a pre-James Bond Daniel Craig played his treacherous son Connor Rooney magnificently. Surprisingly, the most controversial casting choice was Tom Hanks as the protagonist. While Hanks was and continues to be a huge box office star, his bread-and-butter roles until this movie tended towards the sainted good guys (Forrest Gump, Philadelphia, Sleepless in Seattle) or the good-natured troublemakers (Big, Bachelor Party, A League of Their Own). This film arguably marked his first role as a true “bad guy”. Ironically, it was exactly Hanks’ friendly and somewhat mischievous persona that made Sullivan such a conflicted and believable character, both a loving family man and a hardened, vengeance-seeking killer.

08. IN BRUGES

IN BRUGES (2008) is the tale of a pair of foul-mouthed Irish hit men laying low in the picturesque city of Bruges, Belgium after one of them has accidentally killed a child in a church. It doesn’t sound like a humorous premise but there are plenty of laugh out loud moments in this black comedy written and directed by Martin McDonagh, an acclaimed playwright. IN BRUGES portrays its killers as three-dimensional characters with fears, guilt, hope and decency. Colin Farrell is touching as the wounded lead and Brendan Gleeson serves as a steady counter-point to his strung-out partner. But its Ralph Fiennes as the psychotic and ruthless crime boss who steals the film.

07. DESPERADO

After making EL MARIACHI on a ridiculously low-budget, Robert Rodriguez was ushered into Hollywood with his bigger budget sequel DESPERADO. The onslaught of money didn’t taint Rodriguez’s vision, but merely fueled his passion for extravagant, romantic violence as Antonio Banderas dawns the mariachi mercenary’s guitar case of death. Driven by his love for Carolina, played by Salma Hayek, El Mariachi blazes a trail of death and destruction. With the help of his two trusty — and equally deadly — mariachi mates, the trio’s reputation precedes them as they move from town to town, Hell-bent on killing the ruthless cartel boss Bucho. Rodriguez debuts his trademark sense of humor and flair for dramatized, glorified violence. The carnage in DESPERADO is creative, almost operatic. Banderas proves extremely charismatic as El Mariachi, while Salma Hayek’s early Hollywood performance, propels her into the mainstream as El Mariachi’s love interest for which he fights.

06. THE KILLER

THE KILLER (1989) is about a warm-hearted hitman forced to look after a nightclub singer he accidentally blinds during a gunfight all while a hotshot detective and a ruthless mob are on his tail. THE KILLER is a loud, ferocious, hyper-kinetic thriller that kicked off the Hong Kong action film craze (at least in this country). It also happens to be one of the best action dramas ever made. John Woo brings a humane poetry to the film that most American actioners never measure up to. Chow Yun-Fat epitomizes coolness; with his fancy suits and gunplay acrobatics, he emits a gangster chic with a debonair touch even when sliding backwards in a church running through ammunition.

05. GROSSE POINTE BLANK

Remember when John Cusack made good movies? It’s getting harder and harder, I know, but stroll with me a little down Memory Lane, back to a time when Cusack still embraced his persona as a slightly off-kilter, sometimes neurotic — but always lovable — outsider. Think: Lloyd Dobler. Think: Rob Gordon. And oh yes, don’t forget: Martin Blank. A contract killer who’s rethinking his career path, Blank returns to the titular Detroit suburb for his 10 year high school reunion. After resparking romance with the girl he stood up on Prom night, Blank sets about to finish his last assignment and close up shop. Unfortunately, that last target turns out to be the father of his love interest, whom he must now save from a rival assassin, while avoiding the federal agents on his tail as well. Witty, violent, and hilarious, this dark comedy highlighted Cusack’s knack for sarcastic, neurotic humor perfectly.

04. THE MECHANIC

In THE MECHANIC (1972) Charles Bronson played Bishop, a secluded hit man targeting various underworld figures who decides to take on an apprentice (Jan-Michael Vincent), which leads to a deadly relationship between teacher and pupil. Of all the major stars in the history of Hollywood, Charles Bronson had the least range as an actor, but THE MECHANIC shows why he didn’t need it. The man could coast on presence, charisma, and silent brooding menace like no one’s business and he probably thought range was for sissies. Bishop, even more so than Paul Kersey in the DEATH WISH films, is perhaps Bronson’s most iconic role and THE MECHANIC is one of his best films. The remake, starring Jason Statham and Ben Foster, is due out later this year.

03. GHOST DOG: THE WAY OF THE SAMURAI

Writer/Director Jim Jarmusch (DEAD MAN, BROKEN FLOWERS) can be an acquired taste, but for those who have found the beauty and fascination present in each of his often dryly comical and offbeat movies, few are more satisfying than GHOST DOG: THE WAY OF THE SAMURAI. This intelligently designed film, combines classical samurai wisdom and lore with a more contemporary urban setting and hero. Forrest Whitaker plays Ghost Dog, an African-American assassin-for-hire… stealthy, efficient and reliable, Ghost Dog practices and upholds the code of the samurai in a modern world that has all but tossed the teachings of ancient warriors into the gutter. Inevitably, it is this very strict adherence to the samurai code that leads Ghost Dog to turn on his criminal master, a mafia man who raised him from a boy to become the professional killer he is today. In harmony with his samurai code, Ghost Dog obeys and respects his master despite his evil deeds and affiliations, until they go too far. The subtlety of how the film progresses and a clearly present Zen influence, work in contrast with the contemporary genre cliches to create an absolutely compelling movie that’s entertaining and thought-provoking.

02. JASON BOURNE Trilogy

The JASON BOURNE Trilogy is so much a series remembered for not only Matt Damon’s ability to kick just about anyone’s ass with just about any weapon he can find, it’s remembered for Paul Greengrass’ in-your-face camera work. Some may not even remember the original, 2002 film was directed by Doug Liman, a man who, at one point, was looking like the next big thing. With SWINGERS and GO under his belt already, he took on the Paul Ludlum novel, contemporizing it into the cool, action, thriller we remember so fondly. The film was a success pulling in $214 worldwide against a $60-million budget. Of course, differences with Universal Studios (Liman’s original version of BOURNE IDENTITY had to go back for reshoots to pump up the action) caused Liman to step back for the next, two films and serve as only executive producer. Enter Paul Greengrass who took the style and cool of THE BOURNE IDENTITY and made THE BOURNE SUPREMACY and THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM his own. It worked, too, as SUPREMACY made $288 million worldwide against a $75-million budget, and ULTIMATUM raked in $442 million after a $110-million budget. All of the films were huge, critical successes, too, achieving an 83% for IDENTITY, 81% for SUPREMACY and an astounding 93% for ULTIMATUM. Â  Grand successes, indeed. So, it’s no surprise Universal wants to continue with a fourth film. However, those differences seem to have popped up, as Greengrass and Damon have stepped away from the film. Whoever comes in to fill those shoes had better have some mighty big feet. Talent wouldn’t hurt, either.

01. LEON: THE PROFESSIONAL

The ultimate example of a highly-skilled, deadly and dangerous killer with a heart of gold. In Luc Besson’s masterpiece LEON: THE PROFESSIONAL, Jean Reno stars as Leon, an Italian man raised not just to be a contract killer, but to be the best. Leon lives alone, sticking to his routine, doing jobs and making serious cash, which his adopted father-figure and manager Tony (Danny Aiello) holds for him in safety. Leon’s life outside of his “job” is pretty dull and monotonous, but its all leon has ever known… that is, until he meets the young firecracker Mathilda (Natalie Portman). Orphaned by the psychotic Detective Stanfield (Gary Oldman) and his corrupt cops, Mathilda finds shelter under the very capable watch of apartment neighbor Leon. As the two unlikely friends grow more comfortable with each other, they begin to teach each other about life. Mathilda teaches Leon how to have fun and, in many ways, be the kid he never had a chance to be. Reluctant at first, Leon teaches Mathilda the art and code of being a professional killer. LEON: THE PROFESSIONAL contains all the right stuff… incredible action sequences, tremendous performances across the board, brilliant directing and a smart, believable story with lots of heart and originality.

Top Ten Tuesday: Not Your Grandma’s Fairy Tale

In case you haven’t noticed all the hype and TV spots, Tim Burton returns to theaters this Friday, March 5 with ALICE IN WONDERLAND. No, despite it’s name, this is more of a sequel than a remake, with Alice returning to Wonderland, all grown up, but finds it’s a far darker and twisted place than even before. The new Burton-esque Wonderland got us thinking about movies with the fairy tale feel, but a darker edge. With that in mind, we Movie Geeks have conjured up our own bit of twisted darkness and created our list of the Top Ten Dark Fairy Tale Movies.

10. SNOW WHITE: A TALE OF TERROR

The list begins with what may be the least child-friendly pick. This version of Snow White — starring Sam Neill, Monica Keena as Snow White and Sigourney Weaver as the wicked stepmother — is said to be much closer to the original fairy tale from the Brothers Grimm, whose classical literature is known for its darker edge in telling cautionary children’s tales. See this movie, but don’t expect any singing dancing dwarfs.

09. THE COMPANY OF WOLVES

Using the ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ story as starting point, THE COMPANY OF WOLVES is a poetic, R-rated parable of sexual coming-of-age and lost innocence told like a medieval fairy tale or Brothers Grimm fable. The movie is an intricate web of fables told by the grandmother, played with gingerbread allure by Angela Lansbury. All the stories have to do with wolves or werewolves (played by, among others, David Warner and Stephen Rea), and though they aren’t made to scare, Director Neil Jordan’s 1984 film is a dark and lush fairytale that boldly breaks a lot of the rules of children’s stories. And remember, never trust a man whose eyebrows come together!

08. SLEEPY HOLLOW

All of Tim Burton’s films have a unique, fairy-tale-like quality that has earned him a huge following and with SLEEPY HOLLOW he proved himself a master of dark visuals, lavishly recreating the atmosphere of a Hammer horror film (Johnny Depp as Ichabod Crane seems to be channeling Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee makes a cameo). SLEEPY HOLLOW is not a faithful adaptation of Washington Irving’s story. Instead of Ichabod being a schoolteacher he is a criminologist investigating some recent beheadings with new scientific instruments he has invented. He wants to apply logic and reasoning to the crimes and, even though the town’s citizens warn him of the headless horseman, his main suspect (and love interest) is Katrina Van Tassel (Christina Ricci). Lush costumes, razor sharp editing, a frightening score, and a terrific cast (Christopher Walken as the headless horseman !?! – ‘nuff said!) place SLEEPY HOLLOW among the very best fairy tale adaptations.

07. LADY IN THE WATER

Based on an idea from the made up bedtime stories he told to his two daughters, M. Night Shyamalan’s LADY IN THE WATER (2006) is a modern-day fairytale for grownups filled with mythical creatures like scrunts, narfs, Tartutic, and the Great Eatlon The tenants of a Philadelphia apartment complex discover Story (Bryce Dallas Howard), a Madame Narf who hails from the Blue World – the portal to which is in the apartment’s swimming pool. The complex’s shy superintendent Cleveland Heep (Paul Giamatti), who’s sad past continues to haunt him finds out that Story is among them to seek out a writer (Shyamalan) who’s unwritten book will change the world’s course for the good. LADY’s water nymph heroine can only safely return to her magical world with the help of all of them.

06. THE CITY OF LOST CHILDREN

Jean-Pierre Jeunet and Marc Caro created a wonderfully dark and creepy blend of childhood fantasy (or, shall I say nightmare) with a sprinkle of science-fiction in this unique French fairy tale. Casting Ron Perlman is always a call for excitement, but his performance is just one of a slew of extraordinary things to be enjoyed in THE CITY OF LOST CHILDREN. Jeunet and Caro created a whole different world, existing within our own. The grimy but beautiful images illustrate a unique world of fantasy.

05. EDWARD SCISSORHANDS

What would a list of dark fairy tales be without the inclusion of a film by Tim Burton, and this list (on top of being in honor of a film he is releasing) features two of them. If SLEEPY HOLLOW is his horror vision of a classic fairy tale, EDWARD SCISSORHANDS is his beautiful, emotional vision. That doesn’t make it any less dark. A deeply engaging story featuring master work from everyone in the cast (including Vincent Price in his final, feature film role), EDWARD SCISSORHANDS is a moving depiction of the differences in all of us and the horrors that await us in the real world. It is arguably Burton’s best work.

04. NEVERENDING STORY

Even though this storybook film from Wolfgang Peterson does initially strike one as being “dark” when viewed more closely it deals with some subtle themes — a struggle between good and evil, light and dark, pending doom and destruction. Its a story about a young boy who enters a fantastic world and learns that he’s destined to become the hero that saves the princess and the land from a terrible fate. The movie is filled with incredible creatures and characters, remaining a favorite of children… all grown up.

03. LEGEND

In 1985, Ridley Scott set out to make the definitive fairy tale. The result was this cult classic featuring a young Tom Cruise as Jack, a forest boy fighting to save the land and the woman he loves from Tim Curry’s evil Lord of Darkness. Hailed for its visual beauty, the movie was a fantastical adventure through a fairy world both light and innocent down to the dark and terrifying depths of nightmare. With goblins and elves, a brave hero fighting a dark Lord, a beautiful princess and–of course–unicorns, this truly is the stuff legends.

02. LABYRINTH

“Dance, Magic, Dance!”

Now try to get that song out of your head.  It’s not so much that Jim Henson’s 1986 film LABYRINTH is dark, nor is it trying to be the second coming of THE DARK CRYSTAL.  It’s more rock and roll fused with the puppet-based fairy tale than anything you would find from a horror film.  And rock and roll the film is through and through.  Whether it’s the vulgar Hoggle (the first time we see him, he’s urinating on the side of maze’s wall), or the music numbers or even David Bowie’s “can’t miss it” cod piece, the film screams rock opera.  More than that, it screams nostalgia for anyone who was alive when it came out.  It remains one of the coolest “dark” fairy tales we’ve seen put to film.  Now, try not to finish the lyrics when I say, “You remind me of the babe.”

01. PAN’S LABYRINTH

Guillermo Del Toro’s enchanting tale follows Ofelia, a young girl living in Fascist Spain, who escapes the cruelty of her step-father and the barbarity of war by creating her own mythical world in the garden labyrinth. Del Toro’s graceful and grotesque monster creations are truly haunting, with the soundtrack only adding to the eeriness. The themes of innocence and darkness are common to the fairy tale genre, but Del Toro takes another step back to add the concept of imagination, asking why we create these fantasy escapes in the first place.

Top Ten Tuesday: Worst Buddy Cop Movies

After a short hiatus, Top Ten Tuesdays are back… “With a Vengeance!” Sorry, we just couldn’t help ourselves. This week’s Top Ten Tuesday is in honor of Kevin Smith’s newest movie, COP OUT, a buddy cop action-comedy. Regardless of whether you’re eagerly anticipating this film, directed but not written by Kevin Smith, or eagerly trying to avoid acknowledging its existence, we’ve thrown together our own list of the Top Ten WORST Buddy Cop Movies of all-time!

10. COLLISION COURSE

If I were to tell you that in the late ’80s, someone had the bright idea of teaming Jay Leno with Pat Morita for a buddy cop comedy, you’d probably think I was nuts.  But, then, you would check IMDB, look up COLLISION COURSE, and be subject to information on one of the worst ideas in motion picture history.  Not only is this film not exciting.  Not only does it offer some of the worst, most knock-off-ish brand of humor (mostly stemming from funny moments where Morita says the word “ass”).  The action (you know, the cornerstone of any, decent buddy cop movie) is completely flat and, ultimately, stupid.  The highest point comes in the end when a charging Morita literally drop kicks a car.  That moments kind of worthwhile.  The rest is just, plain dumb.

09. DOUBLE TEAM

The logical mind of a movie geek would likely conclude that an action movie from filmmaker Tsui Hark, combined with a cast including Jean-Claude Van Damme and Mickey Rourke, would be a fail-safe formula for box office bang. Unfortunately, that would have been a losing bet. This is a terribly written, over-the-top and unbelievable flop. While Rourke is fine in his limited screen time and Van Damme’s fight scenes don’t completely disappoint, Dennis Rodman’s complete lack of acting talent along with dialogue so bad it causes one’s teeth to grind in agony only exasperate the ridiculousness of the film.

08. RED HEAT

Just because buddy cop films were the most popular Hollywood genres of the 1980’s, everyone thought they could successfully jump on the bandwagon. Director and writer, Walter Hill thought he could return to the well once again after the huge success of his Eddie Murphy/Nick Nolte movie 48 HRS. Hill tried to replicate his buddy movie formula with RED HEAT a comedy action movie about mismatched cops, Arnold Schwarzenegger and James Belushi. Russian cop Ivan Danko chases down a drug dealer who’s escaped to U.S. and is paired up with his American counterpart, Detective Sergeant Art Ridzik. It was brilliant casting for an 80’s film, but the film is stuff filled with so-so chases, shootouts, and sparring of cultural differences between the mismatched cops. Funny the tie that binds them together is their penchant for violence. I have to give Schwarzenegger some props for attempting a Russian accent even though is still comes off as sounding more Austrian. What 1980’s film would be complete without a score from composer James Horner.

07. NATIONAL SECURITY

With the understanding that the studios feel buddy action movies are massive cash cows, the trend of playing Russian roulette with the stars of these films has gotten a bit out of control. This is one perfect example of how formulaic cinema constructs fail: Take a generic, highly unlikely stock plot, add two popular actors who’ve not worked together before, result will be success… NOT! The comedic styles of Martin Lawrence and Steve Zahn mix about as well as oil and water, leaving this action-comedy about two opposites working together to stop a smuggling ring labeled DOA.

06. STARSKY AND HUTCH

STARSKY AND HUTCH (2004) is a poorly done remake based on the 1970’s television show. Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson play cops Dave Starsky and Ken “Hutch” Hutchinson who are working undercover in California. Their street informant, Huggy Bear (Snoop Dogg) tells them about a huge drug deal about to go down and make drug lord Reese Feldman (Vince Vaughn) a lot of money. It is now up to them to stop him. While mildly entertaining, as a film this remake is horrible. I think that Stiller and Wilson can be very funny together (Zoolander), but they failed miserably with this one!

05. COP AND A HALF

Whether you enjoyed it or laughed at it (you meanie)… this was the predecessor to Schwarzenegger’s KINDERGARTEN COP. No, to the best of my knowledge they are not related, other than both feature a big name star not typically known for their warm, fuzzy sides starring in kid movies. The makers of COP AND A HALF may have had a wholesome family movie in mind, but what they ended up with is just bad. Funny, I always had Burt Reynold’s pegged for a family movie kinda guy… this movie proves that’s not his strong suit.

04. LETHAL WEAPON 3

The weak third installment of the LETHAL WEAPON franchise suffered from a lack of inspiration, probably due to the departure of writer Shane Black.  Joe Pesci’s wacky Leo Getz character from LETHAL WEAPON 2 returns for no other reason than to let him weakly ad-lib some tiresome jokes. The first two films have their share of humor but the here the comedy was so broad the film became a clumsy parody of itself. Though still rated R, LETHAL WEAPON 3 was less intense and, with it’s reduced body count and endless romantic scenes between Mel Gibson and Rene Russo, seemed more family-friendly. The magic seemed to be gone with this series but fortunately it rebounded six years later when LETHAL WEAPON 4 introduced Jet Li to American audiences as a new kind of lethal weapon.

03. BULLETPROOF

BULLETPROOF (1996) is one of those cop movies that tries to be a comedy but fails miserable. If they were trying to pick two amazing comedic actors for this one, they failed. Adam Sandler and Damon Wayans should never act in a police movie… ever! Wayans is trying to protect Sandler so that they can take down a drug lord (James Caan), but of course things don’t go as planned. Through this, and “White Chicks”, we have learned that no Wayans brother should play a cop!

02. HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE

HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE is so jaw-droppingly awful and clumsily constructed that I’m convinced it was originally conceived as a direct-to-video cheapie (perhaps pairing Steven Seagal with Dean Cain) that somehow managed to wrangle Harrison Ford for its lead. Ford and Josh Hartnett, as his young partner, generate zero chemistry and their bickering is lame and forced. Ford humiliated himself for a quick paycheck and his career has yet to recover.

01. RUSH HOUR 3

We have RUSH HOUR and RUSH HOUR 2 to thank for making fast food director Brett Ratner such a golden boy in Hollywood.  It would stand to reason going to the well one too many times would end up resulting in the worst film of his career.  RUSH HOUR 3 brings Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan back together again, and it’s the exact same thing we’ve seen time and time again.  There are literally moments where it feels scenes from the first, two films were copied and pasted and some digital effects magic put the Eiffel Tower in the background.  The fact that Roman Polanski agreed to show up in the film is probably the worst thing the famed director has ever done.  EVER.  That’s right.  I said “ever”!