Tag: Gods

THE CABIN IN THE WOODS – The Review

“You think you know the story…” so true are those words, it makes writing this review a critical hell, a nightmare of favorably frustrating proportions. The reason for this being, THE CABIN IN THE WOODS is one of those films that requires I not slip up and divulge any of it’s many wonderful details that would spoil the geektastically all-encompassing awesomeness of the film. If you are thinking, “Wow, this guy is selling the film rather hard,” you would be partially correct. Partially, because I’m not trying to “sell” the film at all, but on that rare occasion that a film has such a massive impact on my “happy” endorphins on this level, well… I just simply can’t help myself.

The basic story: Five college friends decide to take a break from their studies and spend a weekend in a, yes, you got it… a cabin in the woods. Curt (Chris Hemsworth, THOR) is the jock, but an unconventionally smart one. Jules (Anna Hutchison) is Curt’s “girl next door” girlfriend and her best friend Dana (Kristen Connelly, REVOLUTIONARY ROAD) is a book smart, semi-virginal good girl reluctantly along for the ride. Jules surprises Dana by inviting yet another — single — intellectual jock named Holden (Jesse Williams, BROOKLYN’S FINEST) with the hopes the two will hook up during their cabin retreat. Finally, Marty (Fran Kranz, THE VILLAGE) is the wise, but paranoid stoner and fifth-wheel on this wilderness trip. These five young men and women willingly enter into a seemingly harmless cabin in the woods, unsuspecting of the true and necessary horrors that await them… all for 105 perfectly pleasurable minutes of thrills, frights and laughs.

THE CABIN IN THE WOODS comes from the mind(s) of a genius — to some, many — co-written by Joss Whedon (SERENITY) and Drew Goddard (CLOVERFIELD) whom, with this film, also makes his directorial debut. Many fans obviously know of Joss Whedon from popular TV series including Firefly, Dollhouse, and Buffy. Perhaps less known, but equally talented is Drew Goddard, whom also has had his writing hands in the popular TV series cookie jar with Buffy, as well as Angel, Lost, and Alias. Putting these two minds together was shear brilliance, but unfortunately the recent troubles which befell the house of MGM held this film on the shelf, a film completed way back in 2011. With that said, we now get to enjoy not only this film, but THE AVENGERS, also directed by Joss Whedon, both opening this summer. (I may giggle like a school girl now. Don’t judge me.)

What is the secret of THE CABIN IN THE WOODS? You know I can’t tell you that, or else… I’d have to kill you. Seriously. If I told you that, someone would surely kill me as well. What I can tell you is that all the beautifully cheeky, sarcastic humor Joss Whedon is so well known for is alive and well. Whedon and Goddard mostly give Fran Kranz free reign over comic relief, serving up a hilariously witty performance as Marty, stoned nearly the entire film, constantly the ignored voice of reason. Marty is sort of a combination of SCREAM’s Randy, but with the personality of Alan Tudyk. I love Alan Tudyk, but that’s irrelevant.

The film opens with anything but the most logical, predictable scene for a horror film set in a cabin… in the woods. We meet two middle-aged men — Sitterson and Hadley — dressed in white, short-sleeve dress shirts and pocket protectors. No, these aren’t an updated, live-action, nerdy version of The Muppets’ Statler and Waldorf… actually, in a way I guess they could be. Sitterson (Richard Jenkins, THE VISITOR) and Hadley (Bradley Whitford, BOTTLE SHOCK) run a mysterious laboratory in a large, sterile facility staffed with equally laboratory-esque types. The opening scene, a quirky quick-witted exchange between Sitterson and Hadley, could quite possibly be one of the funniest moments in the film, setting the tone and calibrating the audience laugh-o-meter for heavy usage.

Following this scientifically silly exchange, we’re introduced to our five college friends and the journey begins. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry (from all the laughter) and then — in due time — you’ll shriek at the craziness of the building carnage that Whedon and Goddard conjure up as they slowly unveil the truth of THE CABIN IN THE WOODS. Now, while I cannot divulge any specific details, I can say with relative safety that the general gist of the “big” secret will become apparent somewhere around the halfway point, or at the very least, you should begin the suspect. However, as they say… “the devil’s in the details.” In other words, PAY ATTENTION! I believe it’s literally impossible for anyone to fall asleep during this film, unless shot with a tranquilizer, but watch closely to catch all the finer, even subtle little Easter eggs planted within the film, including film homages, insider gags, familiar knock-off characters, and even, perhaps… maybe… a secret cameo, or two? Hmm… I’m not saying anymore.

THE CABIN IN THE WOODS is smart, witty, fast-paced, comedic, horrific fun… the most refreshing, perfectly executed horror movie experience I’ve seen since James Gunn’s SLITHER (2006). The special effects are splendidly rendered, CGI done well — sparingly (well, till the end when the proverbial sh*t hits the fan) but effective — and monster fans may or may not be in for one helluva treat as well. There’s action, there’s romance (loosley defined) and tragedy, there’s conservatively utilized bloody and gory violence, suspense, of course there’s mystery, and even a touch of science-fiction mixed with a dash of folklore. (Oh, no. I’ve said too much. I’ve said enough. — Michael Stipe)

My Promise: Go, run to see CABIN IN THE WOODS! You will not see another horror film this good all year, well… not until sometime (maybe) in October, but that’s not confirmed yet. If you don’t enjoy this film, you’re demented.

Overall: 5 out of 5 sacrificial lambs

WRATH OF THE TITANS – The Review

*** Fair warning, this review may contain some very, very MINOR spoilers. ***

It’s a rare thing that a sequel surpasses it’s predecessor, and in the case of WRATH OF THE TITANS, the theory wavers slightly. CLASH OF THE TITANS (2010) was a remake of the 1981 Ray Harryhausen classic that had action and lots of CGI special effects but did little to honor the original, nor did it compare to the thrill and excitement the 1981 original still offers fans. With this sequel, loosely based on the the 1981 screenplay written by Beverley Cross, who also wrote the 1981 original CLASH OF THE TITANS, the film ponies up a more fluid story with better special effects, but the pacing differs greatly from the 2010 CLASH OF THE TITANS.

WRATH OF THE TITANS takes place a decade after Perseus (Sam Worthington) defeated the Kraken. Having turned down his god-father Zeus’ offer to rule by his side from Olympus, the demi-god [half human/half god] Perseus now attempts to live a normal, human life with his son in a small village. Perseus devotes his life to his son now, but when Zeus returns asking for Perseus to fight once more to save the world, Perseus sticks to his guns and stays with his son… at first. Perseus doesn’t realize the severity of his father’s need for his help.

Meanwhile, in the realm of the gods, Hades (Ralph Fiennes) has something up his cloak and is secretly plotting to dethrone Zeus (Liam Neeson) and free their father Kronos from the prison within which Zeus and Hades once confined him. The key to this story is that the gods are growing weaker as humanity no longer prays to them, which means the safeguards they have placed in the world to protect humanity weaken along with their power, threatening to unleash the Titans on the world. This is bad news, but it takes nearly losing his father to bring Perseus around once more and step into his big boy shoes to save the day for all mankind.

WRATH OF THE TITANS is directed by Jonathan Liebesman, who’s last outing was in last years BATTLE LOS ANGELES, a film I would describe as great looking but story lacking. While the story itself was a plus in WRATH OF THE TITANS — and it did look great, with cinematography from Ben Davis — I do see some pacing similarities between the two films. Both have some extremely intense action sequences that are well constructed, but the time spent between these high-octane moments tends to falter a bit, losing some of the momentum, requiring a fresh buildup to the next round of excitement, acting as a slow, unnecessary buffer.

Sam Worthington has hair this time around, which I consider a good thing. His quasi-miliatry buzz cut from CLASH OF THE TITANS always bothered me, as if he just came off the set of AVATAR to shoot CLASH. Leading man aside, the cast was one of the high points in this sequel. Neeson and Fiennes aside, both of whom were naturally enjoyable, Danny Huston returns for a short time as Poseidon and Edgar Ramirez plays Ares, the god of war. Queen Andromeda features a new face, played this time around by Rosamund Pike, replacing Alexa Davalos.

However, the real acting treat in WRATH OF THE TITANS comes from Bill Nighy, who plays the “fallen one” Hephaestus and whom serves a vital role in the quest of Perseus. Nighy, a veteran actor not unaccustomed to fantasy and genre films, is usually a fan favorite, from his roles in SHAUN OF THE DEAD to the UNDERWORLD franchise. Covered in long, gray hair and a ratty beard, it’s difficult at first to recognize the actor, especially when he attempts to disguise his voice, but the tell-tale vocal trademarks and mannerisms do still shine through, resulting in a pleasant “hey, I know him” epiphany. Nighy delivers a fun time in the middle of a movie that mostly takes itself very seriously.

As I mentioned, the special effects are better in WRATH OF THE TITANS than in the CLASH remake. From the monstrous double-bodied soldiers called the Makhai, wielding a relentless onslaught of death and destruction onto the human army, to the fire-breathing bat-dog things and the Chimera, a small band of giant Cyclops, the creature design and effects are the true stars of the film. In this way, WRATH feels like a Harryhausen film, but not it’s equal. Kronos, in particular — albeit lumbering and slow — is quite the eyeful of coolness and scary to boot when you consider what he is and what it would be like in real life. The one creature design I was disappointed in was during the labyrinth segment — a very well designed segment, I might add — when Perseus confronts the minotaur, which I felt lacked greatly, resembling little more than THE GOONIES’ Sloth with horns stuck to his head.

Overall, WRATH OF THE TITANS is a solid film, a true summer blockbuster that will draw crowds and makes lots of money. WRATH is slightly more accomplished than the CLASH remake, enough so to be noticeable and enjoyable. Perhaps it was just me, but beware the down time between the action sequences. These would be good times to sip freely from your caffeine tank, nestled closely in your cup holder. Finally, I suppose I’ll mention the ever present 3D, which is a far cry better than the virtually non-existent 3D of CLASH OF THE TITANS, rendered pointlessly in post-production. The 3D is there in WRATH, visible and effective, if you’re into the blatantly self-conscious, somewhat gimmicky style of 3D in film. My recommendation — as usual — go old school and see the film in 2D.

Overall Rating: 3 0ut of 5 stars

IMMORTALS – The Review

I remember first being introduced to Greek mythology in grade school, later delving more into the subject in junior high. I remember being fascinated by the stories, drawn into the lore of the gods and heroes and the fantastic creatures. I still remember bits and pieces of what I discovered in those formative years of endless imagination. However, I will not remember IMMORTALS as being a film worthy of that same lasting admiration.

IMMORTALS tells a story, albeit questionably accurate to its source material, of a peasant named Theseus (Henry Cavill) secretly trained in the fighting arts by a mysterious old man, played by veteran actor John Hurt. When the ruthless King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) invades with his army of evil tyrants, Theseus finds himself thrown under the bus by Zeus (Luke Evans) to lead his people to victory against overwhelmingly impossible odds. With the help of a soldier named Stavros (Stephen Dorff) and the virgin oracle Phaedra (Freida Pinto), Theseus must find a way to defeat Hyperion before he uses a powerful magic weapon to unleash the terrible Titans upon humanity. This is the story, but it lacks any significant depth, character development or the wonderful detail of the mythology I recall from my youth.

Tarsem Singh, without a doubt, is one of the most exciting new filmmakers when it comes to wildly imaginative visual cinema. The problem is that it takes more than merely an eye for amazing imagery. Audiences were first introduced to Singh in 2000 with THE CELL, a film that had audiences visually awestruck but also feeling disappointed in the story and the acting. Six years later, Singh would give us THE FALL and earn back a lot of respect. Unfortunately, IMMORTALS is his third and arguably worst film.

IMMORTALS is a visually stunning film, but not an entirely successful effort. Singh spends far too much time wallowing in his CGI landscapes, implementing several slowly sweeping panoramic vistas from breathtaking heights and distances. This all occurs during a disappointingly dull first two acts, when Singh could have spent his time more efficiently weaving a more engaging and interesting story, before unleashing 95 percent of the action in the third act. The action itself is acceptable, but lacks a certain punch. The best action is in the tighter shots, whereas the broader shots of epic battle get lost in the excessive use of slowed down bullet-time cinematography that is beginning to lose its appeal through Singh’s and Zack Snyder’s unhealthy overuse. The two most impressive bits of action are at the end; when the Gods finally face off with the Titans with awesome, if not somewhat cheesy, comic book style; then when Theseus goes toe-to-toe with King Hyperion, with a higher level of realism and fluidity.

The performances in IMMORTALS are not bad, so much as subject to a mediocre script. Henry Cavill, whom we’ll soon recognize as the new Superman, appeared to be in a constant state of painful constipation that is meant to convey anger and rage. Mickey Rourke will be happy to have the paycheck, because King Hyperion marks what will hopefully be a short-lived hiccup in his recent triumphant comeback. Freida Pinto is absolutely gorgeous, but lacks the mysterious allure I would expect from an oracle, replaced with the draw of a centerfold model. Stephen Dorff is quite simply put, Stephen Dorff.

Finally, and I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for this, IMMORTALS is a 3D film. Despite my general dislike of its very existence, 3D is here to stay for now. The question is always, is it well done? With IMMORTALS, the answer is an echoing hell no! I recall suffering through the CLASH OF THE TITANS remake, which was post-converted to 3D and looked terrible. IMMORTALS is actually shot for 3D, but looks as if it were post-converted. The film appears ever-so-slightly darker than it should, washed out and lacking the amount of depth of field expected from a film intended to be 3D. Rarely does the 3D make its presence unavoidably known, which ideally is what we want, but it also often falls into oblivion and would be easily forgotten, if not for the annoying 3D glasses in constant need of adjustment.

Overall, IMMORTALS is two-thirds snorefest followed by one-third mediocre action flick, riddled throughout with CGI that screams “look at how cool I am!” This isn’t a complete waste of your time and money, but its awfully close, especially if you intend to delve into the mythological core of the material as I had hoped. If forced to choose, I would revisit the CLASH OF THE TITANS remake before a second run at IMMORTALS, and that’s a tough pill to swallow.

Overall Rating: 2 out of 5 stars