Review – Page 214 – We Are Movie Geeks

SELF/LESS – The Review

Body/mind transference, the central idea behind the thriller SELF/LESS, is so flush with opportunity that it’s frustrating to see this new movie fly off the rails so early and so completely. SELF/LESS has the premise for thought-provoking science-fiction, but it doesn’t have the gumption. It would rather be a blockbuster than a mind-bender but it turns out to be neither. Ben Kingsley stars as Damian Hale, a miserly real-estate magnate at death’s door who pays a quarter million dollars for the services of the shadowy corporation known as ‘Phoenix Biogenics’ (we know he’s rich because he’s shown in his Trump-style penthouse complete with solid gold doors and bannister). Albright (Matthew Goode), Phoenix’s spiffy young chief, offers his clients ‘Shedding’, a process of transferring the mind from the old and sick body into a healthy younger human grown organically in their lab. Damian awakens in his new skin, now called Edward (now played by Ryan Reynolds) and is sent to New Orleans, where’s he’s told to forget his former life and not to contact anyone from his past, which he does right away, phoning, then hanging up on, his daughter with whom he has a strained relationship. His new young body turns out not to be grown in a test tube after all (shocker there!) but was a family man with a wife (Natalie Martinez) and child who had volunteered to turn his body over to the nefarious folks at Phoenix in exchange for keeping his sick daughter alive. Damian is supposed to pop his daily red pill to keep Edward’s old memories at bay, but of course neglects to one day and he’s soon off to revisit the younger man’s family.

The set-up of SELF/LESS recalls SECONDS, the unforgettable 1966 John Frankenheimer film where an older man (John Randolph) hires a shady high-tech service to provide him with the beefed-up, younger body of Rock Hudson and a fresh start in life. SECONDS was a terrifying drama about despair, regret, and identity while SELF/LESS addresses the existential consequences of this Faustian theme in but a couple of early scenes. Damien/Edward plays basketball with some street youth and there’s a nice moment where he takes a foxy young gal to bed, marveling at the virility of his new shell. If this review sounds spoiler-ish, it’s really not. Everything I’ve described happens in the first 25 minutes (of a long 115). The moment Damien reconnects with Edward’s family, he becomes the target of Phoenix’s well-armed hit squad led by the seemingly-invincible Anton (Derek Luke) and SELF/LESS abandons all intrigue, devolving into a lame pursuit thriller with 90 more minutes of conventional shoot outs, fistfights, and car chases. Since Edward, it’s revealed, is ex-Special Forces, he has the skills to dispatch the army of goons on his heels and to handle the weaponry thrown his way, especially the flame-thrower that comes in handy in a couple of scenes.

SELF/LESS is Hollywood at its worst: pointless, witless, and unnecessary. HOT CHICK was a deeper look at this subject. It’s helmed by the talented Tarsem Singh, who’s offered up eye-popping imagery in previous films like THE CELL, THE IMMORTALS, and THE FALL (even his failed Snow White take MIRROR MIRROR was fun to look at), but his new film is so visually unambitious, it’s hard to believe it’s the same director. The key special effect is when that red pill fails to kick in and there’s a sort of glitchy short-circuit video-warp of Damien/Edward’s face, but even that’s not as low-tech ridiculous as the magical body-mind transference device that looks suspiciously like a CT scanner modified with some Christmas lights because that’s exactly what it is. Singh does a terrible job directing the action. The editing is so confusing and the action so logic- and consequence-free that it becomes almost unwatchable. Since its New Orleans-set, the big showdown must take place in an abandoned warehouse “used to house Mardi Gras floats”, and a bizarre scene in Edward’s backyard involving an SUV, a startled horse, and that flame-thrower is jaw-dropping in its ineptness. Ryan Reynolds does what he can with the weak material, Kingsley seems to have fun with his bad Bronx accent, and Matthew Goode acts as if he’s auditioning for the next 007 villain. SELF/LESS is nothing more than a lazy, soulless studio effort wrapped up in an enticing sci-fi landscape and will be forgotten before long, red pill or not.

1 of 5 Stars

MINIONS – The Review

Those goggle-eyed scene-stealers from DESPICABLE ME (and its sequel) get their own showcase in MINIONS, a colorful, fast-paced prequel that kids will have fun with but fails to soar to the heights of the original films. The funniest bits in MINIONS are the opening scenes (we saw them in the trailer) with Minions throughout history disastrously serving the most despicable baddies they can find; a T-Rex, a Pharaoh, Dracula, Napoleon, etc. The story then jumps ahead to 1968, when three brave minions, Bob, Kevin, and Stuart, leave their tribe in the Antarctic to find a new Archfiend to assist. After a brief stop in New York City, the boys travel to ‘Villain Con’, a supervillain convention in Florida where they meet and get jobs working for Scarlet Overkill (Sandra Bullock). She, along with her husband Herb (John Hamm) whisks the three off to England with the assignment of stealing for her the Crown Jewels from the Queen. They muff that job but accidentally wind up ruling the country, which doesn’t sit well with the Overkills.

MINIONS has plenty of laughs but plays more like a series of frantic visual gags than a fully developed story. There’s a lot of fun to be had with the period music and references to Nixon, the moon landing, and the Swinging London of that time period. I’m not sure small children will laugh when the Minions pop out of a sewer lid on Abbey Road just as the Beatles are making their famous crossing, but I did. Voiced by the film’s directors Pierre Coffin and Kyle Balda jabbering in a helium-fueled garble, the Minions are pure slapstick gold, but MINIONS lacks the heart of the first two films. I think the little banana-loving gremlins work best when they’re comedy relief on the edges of the actual story, not front and center like they are here. They also need a good super-villain to work off of and Sandra Bullock’s Scarlet is no Gru. She’s given little to do besides standard cartoon stuff like cackle and scream and shoot her lava lamp gun from her flying machine. Worse is Jon Hamm, not funny at all as Scarlet’s creepy, unnecessary husband. The film gets bogged down when it becomes the Overkill’s story, making the 91-minute running time seem longer. I wish the central villains had been the Nelsons, a wacky American family on a cross-country crime spree that picks up the hitchhiking Minions in their station wagon early in the film. Ma and Pa Nelson are voiced by Allison Janney and Michael Keaton and what they pull off with their brief screen time is far more hilarious than anything Bullock and Hamm do. If the producers of MINIONS make another spin-off film, they’d be wise to bring back the Nelsons.

3 of 5 Stars

THE GALLOWS – The Review

Just when you think the found footage horror film has gasped its last breath, the sub-genre finds a way to revive itself – like how Jason Voorhees or Michael Myers somehow always find a way to return. The PARANORMAL ACTIVITY series tapped into the public’s desire for handheld “real” scares back in 2009 when the first film became a huge success. Five sequels followed since then with a long-delayed sixth one planned for release this Halloween. Many of the other found footage horror films during this period consisted of the same two elements that Oren Peli included in the hit film: human possession and otherworldly spirits. THE LAST EXORCISM, THE DEVIL INSIDE, and AS ABOVE/SO BELOW are just some of the films that I’m referring to.

It’s interesting to see the found footage horror genre come back like one of these 1980’s screen killers considering THE GALLOWS seems to tap directly into the slasher territory these masked men got their names from. Well… at least on the surface. THE GALLOWS combines the handheld aesthetic of these previously mentioned films but then dabbles in revenge, murder-mystery territory. Being a horror fan, I couldn’t help but recall the cheesy high school slasher SLAUGHTER HIGH. Both films tell the story of a high school student who died many years ago in the school, but then flash forward to the present showing dumb kids breaking into the school and messing with things they shouldn’t. It’s a similar concept if you only watch the creepy and effective trailers for THE GALLOWS, but what’s really behind the trailers is a film lacking anything close to that 1986 horror film. Missing is the fun tone, the body count, and quirky 80’s characters. In its place we have four amateur actors that barely make an impression, a predictable story that retreats into the usual paranormal territory we’ve seen before, and only a handful of scares that barely stick out amongst the nauseating camerawork. THE GALLOWS may appear to signal a rebirth of the found footage film with its slasher slant, but reminds horror fans of the sub-genre’s cheap and uninspired limitations.

After a flashback to 1993 where a young boy named Charlie accidentally dies during a school production of “The Gallows,” the film flashes forward to the present day where a new group of students are resurrecting the show. It’s been 20 years but the memory of the tragic accident still looms over the show. Pfeifer (Pfeifer Brown) is center stage in the production and is starring opposite jock turned actor Reese (Reese Mishler). Reese’s friend Ryan (Ryan Shoos) follows the cast of the show around with his camera but doesn’t take the show or the show’s curse very seriously. So much so that he thinks it would be funny to tamper with the set the night before the show opens to prevent it from even opening the following night. He convinces his girlfriend Cassidy (Cassidy Gifford) and Reese to help him dismantle the set in the middle of the night. The three of them break-in and find Pfeifer there working late. But that’s not all. There’s someone else with them in the dark hallways and abandoned auditorium and all signs point to the ghost of Charlie.

I hate to judge a film for what it could have been and not for what it is, but the initial setup here seems to hold so much more potential than what is on screen. THE GALLOWS feels like a gigantic missed opportunity. Throw a group of high school kids into an abandoned high school after-hours and let them run wild while a killer slowly picks them off one after another. It could have been a fun throwback to 1980’s horror mixed with the found footage film; ratchet up the tension with some good scares and throw in some gory killings all with the “realistic” shaky cam. So what exactly went wrong?

What holds back the film the most is that it chooses to focus on only four characters – one of which is our cameraman/narrator who becomes annoying very quickly. I understand that we’re partially rooting for his eventual hanging, but his obnoxious dialogue is a chore to sit through. That leaves us with three other characters, two of which are weak female characters that feel like a bigger joke than our narrator throwing a football at a “theater nerd.” I get that there’s somewhat of a tradition in the horror genre of having a dumb push-up-bra clad girl run around and scream, but could you maybe pepper in just a plain normal female character or dare I ask, strong female character? Then we have the jock with a heart of gold rounding out the goof troop. Reese is boring at best and has absolutely no discernable characteristics. At least he’s better though than our insufferable cameraman who dishes out lame lunk-head jokes more often than we see the hooded killer on-screen. If there was a larger group for Charlie to pick off, maybe his hangman’s noose would have inspired more thrills.

One thing directors Travis Cluff and Chris Lofing do get right is the location. The school at night becomes the best character. New entryways and hidden rooms are discovered, and there’s an eerie atmosphere, as you never quite know when Charlie is going to appear at the end of a hallway or step into frame. I also have to applaud them for delivering a truly creepy final scene that will leave you wondering why this type of dread couldn’t have been maintained throughout the entire film.

THE GALLOWS is a small scale horror film that wants to at times feel bigger but other times is content with dumb downing for its teen audience. It attempts to create a mythology for a new horror icon in the form of Charlie, but it’s kind of hard to do so when his masked face doesn’t appear until a little over the 60 minute mark in a 81 minute film – in fact, the scares don’t even really start to ramp up until 45 minutes in, unless you think the Scooby gang running around pulling locked doors for 10 minutes is scary. Having a killer haunt a group of high school thespians with an executioner mask and a noose sounds like a terrific modern take on THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA. And there are a few moments that will cause unseasoned horror audiences to jump, but there’s so little for true horror fans to give a standing ovation to. Mostly though, THE GALLOWS serves as a frustrating reminder that Blumhouse is now in the market of serving summer entertainment for teens. Over the years I have sat through my fare share of these kinds of films. It’s just disappointing when you’re hoping for more from a winning concept and a production company that once sought to breathe life into the horror genre with films like INSIDIOUS and SINISTER. With THE GALLOWS the stage setup has potential, but the production quickly shows that it truly was made for a high school stage.

Overall rating: 2 out of 5

THE GALLOWS opens in theaters everywhere July 10

FELT – The Review

This review was originally posted during Fantastic Fest 2014

An uncomfortable feeling hit me almost immediately while watching Jason Banker’s new film. It was a mix of guilt and shame that lasted up until the brutal and heartbreaking ending. This guilt and shame isn’t attributed to anything I felt guilty for in particular, but more as a man living in a world where I acknowledge that there are deep rooted problems regarding gender, sex and violence, and as 2013’s popular song illustrates, the “Blurred Lines” that are often trivialized by society. FELT brings to light the effects of “rape culture” in our society and how normal it has become to dismiss actions by saying “that’s just boys being boys.” Banker’s gorgeous looking film highlights some of the not so pretty situations that we as a society have become accustomed to viewing without thinking about its effects on the victim. He turns what would be shown as just a normal party sequence in most films, where a few girls are offered to enjoy in some alcoholic drinks with some enthusiastic guys, as an example of a problem that goes far beyond just male dominance and its psychological effects on women. FELT has a statement to make but not one that takes away from its thoughtful and impressive storytelling.

Amy (Amy Everson) is an artist living in California who weaves a world of dark satire through her knitted creations. When she’s not creating a woven baby Hitler or an anatomical vagina, she spends her days in an alter-ego-like state where she slips on a nude leotard with an attached plastic penis, draws facial hair on herself and pretends to act like a man. Her problem with meeting guys doesn’t initially fade away when she meets Kenny (Kentucker Audley). It’s only as their relationship slowly develops that we see Amy drop her guard and exist in a happier place. But how long can her personal happiness last?

Like his previous film TOAD ROAD – which I like more in theory rather than the actual experience – Banker employs a mix of documentary and traditional narrative story to form a film that blurs the line between reality and fiction. Apparently the film is based on Amy Everson’s real experiences. Most of the film highlights her natural life as she almost floats through this world in a dreamlike state. She clearly feels more comfortable living in her own headspace, but it is when she encounters strangers or her concerned friends that her odd and occasionally dark sense of humor comes out. She’s an unpredictable character and Banker takes full advantage of this when the film spirals into darker territory.

Amy is dealing with some deep-rooted issues that are hinted at but are never exactly spelled out. Like most people dealing with psychological and possible physical damage, Amy is presented in an imperfect light. She’s not the best at conversations and doesn’t go out of her way to impress any of the lecherous men she encounters. At the same time, you begin to feel there’s a small level of self-infliction that she puts herself through. This may seem like I’m excusing such inappropriate actions at times, but there’s a moment early on when she is on a date with a guy that she clearly is not interested in but continues to go along with. The date wraps-up and he walks her home but not before she shows him one of her favorite trees. She crawls up under the low-hanging tree and sits quietly as her eager date follows. He sits next to her and attempts to kiss her but is met with a turning of her face – clearly indicating she is not interested. Time passes while the two sit there and he attempts to kiss her one more time. Again he is met with the turning of her face. She never says “no” but more importantly she never actually leaves. There are several other times where she places herself in situations that she is not comfortable in but stays as if this is some self-induced torture for her. It is as if that she is waiting to break under the pressure. Like she intentionally wants to snap.

It’s an uncomfortable feeling being a male and witnessing degrading male behavior – things that are too common in our everyday lives – but also because you see this character exist in situations that are out of her control while occasionally partially in her control. I’m not sure if the director intended for this reading or not. Given where Amy stands by the end of the film, I assume we are supposed to believe that she might just be a little crazy – which makes her long and hard journey all the more upsetting.

FELT is a compelling and deeply tragic look at an artist that refuses to turn away from the problems she sees in the world. A haunting and melodic score by the band Deaf Center sets the tone of the film perfectly. Your reaction to the film and its effect on you will ultimately depend on your willingness to accept the underlying issues that are at the heart of Banker and co-writer Amy Everson’s story. Sometimes the most obvious problems are right in front of us the entire time. FELT may not be easily available for the general public to see, but like the message of the film, it doesn’t mean it should be ignored.

Overall rating: 4.5 out of 5

FELT is now playing in select cities and will be available digital/VOD on July 21

THE OVERNIGHT – The Review

Right now the big box office battle is between a genetically modified killer dinosaur and a group of emotions inside the mind of a twelve year-old girl. Of course, I’m referring to Pixar’s smash INSIDE OUT. Now one of the main reasons Joy and the gang are in a frenzy is the recent cross-country move by the family of said, often sad, girl, Riley. Yes, this up-rooting can be truly traumatic for the kiddies. But what about their parents? Are they also worried about making new friends. This new film answers that question with a resounding yes. But it’s definitely not an all-ages romp, for this flick owes little to Disney, and more to Mazursky. The late director Paul to be precise, for this echoes his late-sixties counter-culture cinema classic BOB & CAROL & TED & ALICE. So, this is a different kind of play date (nudge, nudge, wink,wink) that’s explored by Alex & Emily & Kurt & Char in THE OVERNIGHT.

It actually begins not long after dawn as Alex (Adam Scott) and Emily (Taylor Schilling)’s “going through the motions” intimacy is interrupted by their energetic six year-old RJ (R.J. Hermes). It appears that they’re breaking in the bedroom of their new Los Angeles home. Alex is a stay-at-home dad and Emily’s company has transferred her from Seattle. As Alex sifts through the boxes, looking for a pair of “Summer pants” for RJ’s trip to the park (it’s a birthday party for a neighbor’s child), Emily begs off to head to work (gotta’ get a jump on things). At the park, neither fella’s making new friends. But soon after mommy surprises them (work can wait), RJ, with the help of a big bag of “gummy worms”, begins playing with Max (Max Morritt). This attracts the attention of Max’s pop Kurt (Jason Schwartzman). Learning that the family’s new to the area, Kurt invites the three over for “pizza night”. That evening the trio is stunned by Kurt’s opulent digs (and Alex is ashamed of the “2 buck chuck” they picked up on the way). Nonetheless, they are warmly welcomed by Kurt who introduces them to his Parisian-born wife Charlotte (Judith Godreche). After dinner , Alex and Emily begin to say their good nights, since it’s nearing RJ’s bedtime. But Kurt declares the evening under “French rules” and suggests that RJ sleep in Max’s room, while the now adult party continues. After the boys go down for the count, the booze flows, the bong is fired up, and the two couples get to know each other a whole, whole lot better. Just what kind of dinner party is this? Alex and Emily have to wonder if they’re the real main course!

The majority of this engaging quartet of actors build on the personas they’ve developed in their extensive TV and film work. Scott is the affable, but often bewildered everyman he’s essayed in FRIENDS WITH KIDS and the late, much missed ,TV series “Parks and Recreations”. But here there’s a hint of sadness, especially in the film’s opening minutes as he just can’t quite fulfill his husbandry duties. He really needs to feel desired once more. This takes nothing away from his great comic double takes during his stay at “Casa de Kurt”. Schilling also plays a not-too-distant cousin of her break-out character Piper from the streaming sensation “Orange is the New Black”. Her Emily is a somewhat repressed, tightly-wound “stranger in a strange land”, who needs to be shaken out of her rut. Slowly she almost learns to have fun again, and sheds the ultra-focused bread-winner role, while still expressing “shock and awe” at the detours she takes. Schwartzman adds another quirky performance to his long list of off-the-wall indie flick leads. His Kurt is eager to take in these “straights” and shepherd them through his “bizarro-world”, almost like a hipster “Pied Piper” (dig his public park duds!). As the night goes on, he projects a “Willy Wonka”-like vibe whether he’s lulling the lil’ guys into slumberland or proudly presenting his “art”. The newcomer (at least for most US audiences) here is Godreche as the exotic blonde “Bardot-ized” bombshell whose uninhibited sensuality throws her guests for a loop. But there’s a real playful quality to her, plus a sense of mystery. Those eyes never betray the mischief she’s plotting.

Writer/director Patrick Brice coaxes solid performances from all the actors, while making familiar sunny California feel like an odd “nether-world” (as it would be through the eyes of these Seattle transplants). Much of the dialogue has an off-the-cuff improv vibe without any clumsy pauses as the actors flail about in search of a punchline. Perhaps this is the influence of the co-producers, “mumblecore” icons the Duplass brothers. Although the film clocks in at a modest 78 minutes, we still feel that weary, up-all-night, party “buzz”. This may have been prodded along by an overuse of music montages (drinking, toking, swimming, etc.). But, be warned, the running time is the only modest thing about this flick. The language, graphic nudity (female and male), and sexual situations are pretty raw for a film with such “known” stars. So, if you need a blockbuster break, and aren’t spooked by some “naughty” behavior, then you might enjoy meeting the mismatched new neighbors of THE OVERNIGHT.

3.5 Out of 5

THE OVERNIGHT opens everywhere and screens exclusively in the St. Louis area at Landmark’s Tivoli Theatre

MAGIC MIKE XXL – The Review

If it’s Summertime at the cinema, then it’s sequel time once again! Hey, it was just a couple of days ago when that foul-mouthed toy returned in TED 2. A few weeks ago another entry in the scare series arrived with INSIDIOUS 3. And this all really began on the first of May when those mighty Marvel movie heroes reunited to take down Ultron, while another team, the singin’ Bellas, headed back to the multiplex a couple of weeks later in PITCH PERFECT 2. And now movie fans are treated to another epic return gathering of several big screen icons. But this titanic team appeals to a slightly more mature demographic, hence the truly earned “R” rating. Unlike Tony Stark’s crew, these bigger-than-life beef cakes aren’t using their talents against lethal robots. The power of pleasure provides the energy, and propels the plot, in MAGIC MIKE XXL.

So, it’s been three years since we last saw Mike Lane (Channing Tatum) excite the ladies on stage. But, he’s given up his g-string for a tool belt as he devotes his time and energy into a fledgling interior design business in Tampa, Florida. But a phone call from one of his old dancing pals tricks him into a reunion with the other club vets: Ken (Matt Bomer), Tito (Adam Rodriguez), “Tarzan” (Kevin Nash), Tobias (Gabriel Inglesias), and “big” Dick Richie (Joe Manganiello). After the owner of that venue skipped the country, the fellas split with several leaving the adult entertainment biz (Tito’s got a food truck that sells his “all natural” frozen yogurt). But, now the guys have a plan to compete as a group at the big stripper convention happening in Myrtle Beach in only a few weeks. Mike takes a pass, but later that night, as he toils in his workshop, the booming hip-hop beats from his radio act as a siren’s song. That next morning he joins the guys at Tito’s yogurt truck for one last glorious gig. During the long trek, they stop off in Jacksonville where Mike meets the flirtatious photog Zoey (Amber Heard). Hey, with old club owner Dallas AWOL, the gang needs a new master of ceremonies, so they stop again at a very exclusive ladies’ club in Savannah where Mike attempts to recruit former flame Rome (Jada Pinkett Smith) along with two of her prized performers, Malik (Stephan Boss) and Andre (Donald Glover). As the group nears the big event, Mike convinces the crew to ditch their old act. But can they come up with a sensational new routine in the scant hours before they take the stage, one that will literally knock the attendees socks (and stockings) off?

Tatum effortlessly slips back into the role of leader to this motley crew, shaking off the sawdust as those old moves return to him (like riding a bike!). We get a good dose of the comedic skills he’s sharpened in the JUMP STREET franchise (especially in his banter with Zoe over pastry preferences-he’s a “cookie man”) and even a taste of his dramatic range from flicks like FOXCATCHER. But best of all is his impeccable physicality as he seems to defy gravity in his early workshop dance, which plays as a thumping tribute to the barn-raising number SEVEN BRIDES FOR SEVEN BROTHERS and Donald O’Connor’s wild “Make ’em Laugh” from SINGING IN THE RAIN. Here’s a movie star with really great moves. The most entertaining of the troupe may be Manganiello who has terrific comic timing whether he’s bemoaning the lack of a lover (they just can’t accommodate his…er…gift) or treating the convention as the Super Bowl (he’s got that endearing goofball “jock” quality). And he’s gives us some smooth moves, too, in that big show doing a riff on 50 SHADES OF GREY that out steams the original. And especially during the film’s best sequence, as he performs (fueled by the club drug Molly) only for a bored convenance store clerk. Plus he really knows his “boy bands”. Bomer also grabs some laughs as his Ken spouts endless “new age-y” babble and “self-help” speak (he’s a “third level healer”). In addition to his dance skills, he’s got quite a set of pipes as he croons sweetly to his clients (who, in turn, swoon). Rodriguez is all boundless youthful enthusiasm as he rattles off his love of fresh, organic ingredients in his home made frozen treats. And he’s a great comedic partner with Inglesais, who does a killer McConaughey impression. Oh, and he’s a roly-poly Carman Miranda, too. Nash is still stoic and somber as the world-weary, somewhat battered “Tarzan” (he poses more than he dances on stage), but we get an insight into his dark past and see him utilize his artistic talents in the big finale.

Hope that I’m not giving the impression that this film is a complete, what’s the phrase the youngsters are using, “sausage fest”. There are several ladies in prominent roles. The alpha female is definitely Pinkett-Smith as the formidable Rome (hey, her club is named “Domina”), who seems to be a mix of Eartha Kitt, TV’s “Claire Huxtable”, and Tina Turner in MAD MAX: BEYOND THUNDERDOME (and seems a bit too much like her role as crime boss “Fish” Mooney on the current Batman prequel TV series “Gotham”). While Dallas revved up the club audience with his smooth Southern drawl, Rome preaches at the pulpit of empowerment (“We are all…queens!!”). Heard gives off a sexy “tough girl” vibe as the somewhat cynical photog and possible paramour for Mike (his gal from the first flick turned down his proposal…yes, really!). Also making an impression is the still radiant Andie MacDowell as a true “cougar” queen who never stops undressing the guys with her half-mast eyes. Hey, and there’s this Summer’s busiest lady, Elizabeth Banks, co-star of LOVE AND MERCY and PITCH PERFECT 2 which she also directed, grabbing some chuckles as the big convention’s prissy and slightly frazzled organizer. Now, I don’t want to leave out an impressive trio of men from Rome’s staple. Glover (AKA “Childish Gambino” and Troy on TV’s “Community”) charms as the rap improviser Andre, Boss lives up to his name as the impeccable Malik (he even goes toe to toe with Mike), and “Mr. morning TV” himself, ex pro-footballer Michael Strahan serves up a superb high-spirited dance (using a massage table) as club fave Augustus.

The director of the original, Steven Soderbergh, has relinquished those duties this time out to his longtime assistant Gregory Jacobs, but is literally still behind the camera as the film’s cinematographer (and producer/editor). Jacobs is able to capture that film’s original rhythms, and, unfortunately, its weaknesses. While much of the first outing was an introduction to the “club life” told through the eyes of a new addition (“the Kid”), this is mainly a “road picture” with their adventures on the way to “Oz” (the big SC event). Reid Carolin once again provides the screenplay, but many of the scenes (as in the first flick) have a meandering “improv” feel. This works a few times with the crew busting b*#ls on the bus, but often it feels as though the actors are flailing about without a map (most apparent in Mike and Zoey’s awkward first meeting). And another old problem occurs here, too. The film never really comes alive until the guys perform (and boy, they whip the ladies around like rag dolls and position them like “Barbies”), be it on stage or in the “mini-mart” aisle. And McConaughey’s not around as the shot of adrenaline needed to energize the slow stretches. Yes, those folks looking to gaze at taut eight and ten-packs will be most rewarded (the mostly female attendees are in a constant state of frenzy during the big finale, so maybe Jackie Gleason was mistaken about Miami audiences), but movie lovers looking for a compelling story will feel as though they never got past the “bouncers” at the door with MAGIC MIKE XXL.

3 Out of 5 Stars

TERMINATOR GENISYS – The Review

TERMINATOR GENISYS is an ambitious attempt at revitalizing a series that many critics say has gone steadily downhill since the third film. Now five films and two television seasons deep, an argument could be made to whether there is enough story to carry a series of films. But buried within the fifth film is a clever concept of looking at the original two films in a new light while planting the seed for future sequels. How that initial idea evolved into this overworked and stupidly complex story shows that writers Laeta Kalogridis and Patrick Lussier either got in way over their heads or have not a clue as to why the first two films work so well in the way that they do. Sure, the film is about humans fighting robots and that alone should be “cool,” but TERMINATOR was once more than that. GENISYS can’t understand that, but even at a pure summer movie level, it can’t make an entertaining human vs. robot popcorn flick.

Even though the series technically exists in the science fiction genre, I’d argue that what these films are really about is anything but. Time travel and Judgment Day have always been background noise to universal themes, but given the direction of the fifth film and what I can assume of the already announced upcoming sequels, is now clearly the driving force for the series. The first TERMINATOR film is a stalk-and-slash horror film with a genuine love story that proves love is so strong that it can travel across time. TERMINATOR 2: JUDGEMENT DAY shows a lost and out of control boy looking for direction and ends up finding it in the form of a machine that becomes a father figure – it’s a father and son bonding film. Considering director Alan Taylor and the studios behind GENISYS are ignoring TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINE and TERMINATOR SALVATION, I’m not even going to address those films. The fifth film struggles to find a reason to exist compared to previous entries other than just to keep the franchise alive so that studio executives can make money off fan nostalgia.

GENISYS rides the coattails of famous scenes from the series for most of the beginning. After an initial voice-over by Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney) bringing new viewers up to speed abut how a renegade computer program turned against the humans, we flash forward to the year 2029 and see Reese serve as a soldier under the guidance of John Connor (Jason Clarke). The humans successfully take down Skynet, but not before the machines send a killing machine into the past through the use of a time machine to kill the mother of resistance leader John Connor. Reese voluntaries to go back to 1984 to stop the T-800 (yes, this should sound familiar), but when he encounters Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke) she isn’t what he expected. In fact, all of the events of the “original” timeline are disrupted due to some sort of loose particles or some reason or another that is casually thrown out in a quick manner that is just as quickly forgotten.

In the new timeline Sarah is not alone. She’s accompanied by a guardian T-800 that she nicknames “Pops” (Arnold Schwarzenegger). Just as what happened in T-2: JUDGEMENT DAY, a T-1000 attempts to stop Reese from keeping Connor alive but new changes rear their head. The trio soon realizes that due to the changes in the timeline that they now have to travel to 2017 to stop an Apple-esque computer program called Genisys from being uploaded to a Cloud-like system over the world – a program that will eventually trigger Judgment Day.

Once you get past all of the fan service that is piled on at the onset of GENISYS, what’s left is a couple of miscast actors struggling to work with an overly dense screenplay. Jai Courtney and Emilia Clarke pale in comparison to their character’s original cinematic counterpoints. Emilia Clarke tends to exaggerate her macho persona in a way that becomes quickly aggravating. Her attempt at capturing the rebel spirit of Linda Hamilton in T-2 feels completely forced. Courtney on the other hand lacks any hint of charisma. How he has infiltrated Hollywood as a leading man is beyond me given how robotic and emotionless he comes across.

The only actor that seems right at home is Ahhnold! Sure, some of his jokes don’t entirely work, but he’s clearly having fun in the role that recalls his robot with a heart of gold turn in T-2. Even Arnold’s overly cheeky lines that many of the trailers have advertised work much better in the context of the film. GENISYS proves that Arnold still has it. As the one recurring joke reminds us, “He’s old, but not obsolete.”

TERMINATOR 2 ushered in a new era of technological achievement seen on film. It was the first film to use an actor to motion capture a computer generated character – the results continue to inspire film special effects to this day. Seeing the T-1000 get shot by bullet after bullet and revitalize himself right in front of your eyes is something we hadn’t seen before. TERMINATOR GENISYS takes that iconic special effect and replays it over and over again through cheap CGI with not just a new version of the T-1000 but with a new Terminator hybrid as well (whose powers and technology are never fully explained but look like the material used in the kid’s toy where you add magnetic mustaches to faces). The idea of him being an unstoppable killing machine is still the motivating factor here, but its presence is overstated which causes the threatening aspect to dissipate. Instead it just adds to the overuse of cheap CGI effects that director Alan Taylor relies on way too often (including a horribly ugly and preposterous helicopter chase that leads up to the finale). One could play a drinking game to how many times you see a bullet hole slowly heal itself in slow-motion on the new machines and will most likely cry “Judgment Day!” and give-up before the film even ends.

Critics and fans will be quick to point out that the trailers and poster ruin a critical plot point that happens about two-thirds the way through the film. Yes, it’s a shame that that reveal has to be ruined by marketing in order to get people excited about a cool new twist in the TERMINATOR mythology. This is especially true because some of the earlier scenes lose some of their meaningful impact due to the knowledge of this reveal, but that’s hardly the main issue with the film. Even if we could travel through time and change the studio’s decision to market this major spoiler, fixing that won’t help the fact that the main problem lies within the very point of the film.

Going back into time and looking at existing events or in this case existing films isn’t enough to get by these days. Nostalgia can carry a film only so far before it becomes too weak to stand on its own. GENISYS has no strong Endoskeleton at its core. Hearing familiar names like John Connor, Sarah Connor, and Kyle Reese, but seeing them with new faces isn’t enough to hold my interest. Convoluting an already ridiculous time travel plot point from the original film is exactly what the film builds its entire foundation on. Then, in ways I didn’t even think was possible, they convolute and lay even more cinematic paradoxes upon it to the point that you have to just throw your hands in the air and give up. The problem is though, once you stop trying to connect the dots and the different timelines, there isn’t much left to care about. You’re stuck with two severely miscast actors running through time, trying to stop the future from killer robots. What bizarre future-world do we live in that a seemingly cool premise like this should be so tedious? Sadly it’s not the future… it’s the present.

Overall rating: 1.5 out of 5

TERMINATOR GENISYS is now playing in theaters everywhere.

ME AND EARL AND THE DYING GIRL – The Review

What does it take to get to know someone? Like truly, to know someone. Greg (Thomas Mann) drifts through his high-school days by casually interacting with all of the social circles. He’s perfectly content with his surface level “friendships” he has with the jocks, the techno-geeks, the white-guy hip-hop kid – never taking the time to go too far out of his way to get to know any of them and always hiding his own life in the process. Even Earl (R.J. Cyler) is never described as a friend by Greg, instead he’s called a co-worker due to the film spoofs they make together. All of this changes though when Greg’s mom (Connie Britton) forces him to go visit the girl from school that was diagnosed with cancer. What soon develops though between Greg and the dying Rachel (Olivia Cook) calls into question Greg’s impersonal way of getting through life.

In fairness, ME AND EARL… rubbed me the wrong way at the onset. The way Greg is portrayed and acts made me question whether I wanted to endure an entire film around this smug and self-centered teen. But in many ways that’s sort of what makes the film endearing. There’s a self-knowing attitude about the film as it presents itself as a standard indie while also making jokes at its own expense. Greg may not be the ideal lead you would expect, but that’s just one of the ways this film might surprise you.

Between the occasional voiceover, Greg’s hippy-dippy parents (Nick Offerman as a zen world traveler crossed with the “Dude”), Rachel’s day drinking flirty mother (a role Molly Shannon seems born to play), cutesy stop-motion sequences interspersed throughout, and some stylish camerawork, you would think that the film would reek of indie pretension. Most of the time this stuff works. Sure, you get the feeling that The Criterion Collection was a sponsor given how often their products are shown, and yes, the camerawork feels too forced at times becoming more of a distraction to the story than enhancing. Yet, the majority of these quirky stereotypes we’ve become accustomed to seeing every year from “the next great Sundance indie film” actually don’t feel tired or obnoxious. All of these elements that are fairly contrived on paper feel fresh in the hands of director Alfonso Gomez-Rejon. It’s his exuberance for the characters that invigorates these clichés; if only he would have let these characters be the main focus and not get caught up in capturing them in long camera shots, some off center cropping, or other aesthetic decisions that call too much attention to themselves.

As I mentioned earlier, Greg’s life carries a running theme of what exists on the surface versus what’s going on underneath. This theme even extends to the short films Greg and Earl make and hide from others. Yes, they are creating clever spoofs of famous films (2:48 PM COWBOY instead of MIDNIGHT COWBOY, A SOCKWORK ORANGE instead of A CLOCKWORK WORK, and SEVEN SEALS instead of THE SEVENTH SEAL, just to name a few), but they are simply recreating the images without giving much thought to what the original images really meant. Greg is a film geek with an extensive knowledge of classic cinema, but just like the image he presents to everyone around him, he’s more interested in presenting a funny façade than anything “real.”

As his relationship with Rachel blossoms his outer shell begins to break down. The genuine charm he lets the audience in on through his narration becomes more apparent. Rachel makes him feel more alive even as her weeks begin to number. There’s a natural chemistry between Cook and Mann. Cook especially comes across as just a normal teenager frustrated with the cards she’s been dealt. There aren’t grand gestures of love and whimsy, instead we are shown the small, quiet moments that exist between a boy that feels helpless and a girl that feels even more so. As the comedy takes a backseat in the second half of the film, what keeps the film from feeling so dour is the loving friendship between the couple. The two strong leads create such genuine characters that it is hard not to get swept up in the emotions.

Alfonso Gomez-Rejon lovingly includes many nods to classic films throughout the film. However the most important nod is probably the subtlest one. Without getting into details for risk of spoilers, there’s a sequence showing Rachel watching a film in bed where the camera holds for long periods of time on her face. We (the audience) watch her as she watches a film. The colored lights that dance across her face are reminiscent of when Bowman in 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY encounters the monolith in space which causes him to drift through galaxies of space and light – his eyes and face dazzled by the neon lights in front of him. This moment is a magical and powerful moment in ME AND EARL… for many reasons and is easily one of the best cinematic moments I’ve witnessed this year, but it also speaks to the power of film. It shows how a single film, whether it’s made by a master like Stanley Kubrick or by an amateur filmmaker, has the power to spark love and life in all of us.

ME AND EARL AND THE DYING GIRL deftly combines pieces of several film genres into one satisfying whole. Equal parts satirical comedy, coming-of-age high-school tale, moving cancer drama, and touching love-letter to film appreciation, Alfonso Gomez-Rejon has crafted one of the standout indie films of the year – one that’s not afraid to wear its heart and its influences proudly on its sleeve.

Overall rating: 4 out of 5

ME AND EARL AND THE DYING GIRL opens in St. Louis this Friday, June 26.

MAX – The Review

MAX is an Afghanistan War-set battlefield adventure and a look at the unbreakable bond between a Marine and his military working dog ……. for about the first ten minutes! What’s left for another long hour and a half, despite some moments of bravura and lazy tugs at the heart-strings, is a poorly-written, Texas-set melodrama that I can’t recommend. The end credits for MAX play over vintage photos of dogs in combat, from the Civil War to WWI and WWII to Iraq. Dogs have been trained by the military as scouts, sentries and trackers for centuries and I wish that was the story that the producers of MAX had tackled. A kind of canine WAR HORSE might have made for a stirring adventure. On the surface, MAX is an old fashioned throwback to more innocent family fare which may seem like a good antidote to the violent and defeatist thrillers a lot of younger moviegoers seem to be hooked on, but it’s crippled by a weak script, poor performances, and a half-hearted sheen of sentimentality that all but masks the more serious undertones of the story. I wanted to bond with MAX, but I could not.

As MAX opens, Max is serving on the frontlines in Afghanistan alongside his handler, U.S. Marine Kyle Wincott (Robbie Amell). In a confusingly-directed scene, things go wrong on maneuvers and Kyle is killed. Max, traumatized by the loss of his buddy, is unable to remain in service, so he’s shipped stateside and, after causing a scene at Kyle’s funeral, is scheduled to be destroyed. The only human Max seems willing to connect with is Kyle’s younger brother Justin (Josh Wiggins), so Kyle’s parents (Lauren Graham and Thomas Haden Church) step in and adopt the sad hound. But Kyle’s shady marine buddy Tyler (Luke Kleintank – who we know we can’t trust because Max snarls at him) moves in as well and is soon selling cases of weapons he brought back from the war over the border to the Mexican cartel (how he snuck so much firepower back home is never explained). Justin is wise to Tyler’s crimes but the local sheriff (Owen Harn) is in on the misconduct so no one believes him. It’s soon up to Justin and Max to save the day as the film meanders towards an action-packed resolution involving kidnapping, shoot-outs, and an exploding car full of military-grade firearms.

Boaz Yakin’s direction is uninspired while his screenplay (with Sheldon Yettich), apparently afraid of children’s attention spans, jumps so quickly from scene to scene that no character is allowed to develop. Besides Tyler and that corrupt sheriff, the villains here include Mexican gun-runners and a pair of slobbering evil Rottweilers who are all too cartoonish take seriously. I hate to say it, but even Max himself lacks charisma. The breed the military mostly trains is these Belgian Sheppards, which are smaller and darker than the more cinematic German Sheppard. They’re obviously intelligent animals, but they lack the personality and expressive eyes of a Rin Tin Tin. But Max (played by Carlos!) isn’t the only star turning in a sub-par performance. Josh Wiggins as Justin has an irritatingly surly screen presence, which is perfect at the beginning of the film where he’s a spoiled brat playing pirated video games while wearing his stupid ‘Murica’ shirt. But by the film’s end, he hasn’t grown much – though at least he gets a girlfriend. Justin never really seems comfortable with Max and this has to be the first time in movie history that a boy-and-his-dog love story was marred by a lack of chemistry between the human/canine leads. But the worst is Lauren Graham as his mom, who painfully recites lines like “We already lost one son. If it’s alright with you, I’d like to hold on to the other.” It may be a poor script, but this woman’s deer-in-the-headlights delivery is embarrassing. There’s more awkward/bad TV-style teen acting from Dejon LaQuake as Justin’s Mexican pal Chuy and tough-talking Mia Xitlati as his Mexican dog expert human love interest. Only jug-eared Thomas Haden Church escapes MAX with his dignity intact, delivering an earnest performance, changing from gruff to sweet and back as a father wounded in more ways than one. Church transcends the bad writing in several scenes, especially a nice speech recounting his own tragic war experience.

I’m not sure why I had such high hopes for MAX. I haven’t seen a god dog movie in a while and perhaps I didn’t expect such a lame and cheap-looking film to be released in the height of summer against stuff like JURASSIC WORLD and INSIDE OUT, films which just magnify its many flaws by contrast. MAX plays more like something you expect to be dumped in the fall or in February. Skip it now and fetch it at Redbox in a couple of months.

1 1/2 of 5 Stars

TED 2 – The Review

Review by Dane Marti

I realize that all of us—even toy bears— at one time or another experience terrible problems in our lives, ugly demons that affect us or someone we love; they often seem hideously overwhelming: Obviously, this definitely sucks elephantine donkey testicles. Still, I believe that we’ve all got the inner strength to face these bastards and happily rip ‘um to shreds, even if the sob happens to be an evil minion who works at a famous toy company. And if you’re a bear, if you lose your job and find yourself racing around, trying to achieve freedom: tough times lie ahead! And laughter as well.

The funny film TED 2 is more than the sum of its parts. The evening that I viewed the film, I was dealing with a personal issue that made it slightly difficult to view and enjoy a comedy—Not laughing inside. Ordinarily I can easily get lost in a film, happily munching popcorn and enjoying a visual story. In a tribute to this zany movie, I found myself laughing with abandon and maniacal glee. On a few occasions, I was almost vomited with laughter. The opening credits start with a slick and obligatory Busby Berkeley style pizzazz!

The Story:

A year after their marriage, Ted (voiced by Seth Macfarlane) and his wife, Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth, a great comedienne) scream at each other in frustration: Ted realizes that only one possible thing can save their marriage: They must have a baby. Obviously, this will not be easy: Ted does not have a bear penis. Of course, I’m not inferring that Ted is definitely is not a male. He most definitely IS. Here is the challenge: Ted will have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that he qualifies as a ‘person’ in a court of law, in front of a disapproving jury. Helping him along the way is his Thunder buddy Mark Wahlberg and a lovely, stoned lawyer played by Amanda Seyfried. She’s first rate. Over the years, I’ve slowly become a fan of Mr. Wahlberg. He captured the right level of seriousness and humor that’s inherent in someone who has a friend that’s a toy bear.

Originally, I was going to describe some of my favorite scenes, but why? Just go see the movie. I will mention that one of my favorite scenes is a takeoff on Jurassic Park, including its iconic music. Oh—topical events of recent history are referenced as well, including Ferguson Missouri. I particularly enjoyed the Comic Con scenes, with a plethora of hip references to pop culture.

Although this is a wildly insane film, dealing with characters interacting with a Teddy Bear (Thank you C.G. and Teddy Roosevelt!), and although the film would have insulted my father with its scatological and politically incorrect scenes (Then again, this super crazy explosion of hilarity wasn’t made for my pop.), there is also some truly fine thematic moments in the film on freedom and what it means to be alive in the 21^st century. So pay attention!

The audience for the film already loved the original movie. Sometimes the movie did remind me a bit too much of MacFarlane’s beloved television programs. They went with the cinematic insanity in the tale and had a damn good time. Whether or not they appreciated the underlying ideas is something that an undernourished reviewer can fathom.

The overall direction (by Seth Macfarlane) is tight and skillful, but it still had the feel of, say, OH GOD, directed by The Great Carl Reiner. The direction is professional, but the film isn’t trying for cinematic brilliance. The C.G. blending of the bear with more typical humans is outstandingly accomplished.So much of the film might be better seen through a haze of pot smoke. Actually, most of the characters in the film seemed to enjoy a good toke as well.

3 of 5 Stars

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