THE INSTIGATORS – Review

It’s funny how an old TV catchphrase will just magically pop into your brain. While watching this new comedy action caper I recalled George Peppard as Hannibal Smith, leader of the NBC 80s ratings juggernaut, “The A-Team”. With a big cigar clenched between his pearly whites, he’d grin and exclaim, “I love it when a plan comes together” as the bad guys’ vehicles would flip over (though there had to be a shot of them climbing out of the windows unscathed for the censors). Well, the two main characters of this film might say, “I hate it when a plan falls apart”. And it does spectacularly for these luckless schmoes, actually played by members of the “Ocean’s Crew” (the 2000s reboot). And though they spend most of the story’s runtime trying to escape and survive, the title ironically labels them THE INSTIGATORS.

In the film’s opening minutes we meet one half of the duo, the stoic Rory (Matt Damon). He’s attending one of his mandatory therapy sessions at a Boston area VA hospital. He says very little, but a few comments concern the staff psychologist Dr. Rivera (Hong Chau). He talks of making a set amount of money (down to the decimal) and then “cashing in his ticket”. Meanwhile, a “low-rent” petty criminal named Cobby (Casey Affleck) gets a grade-schooler to activate the breathalyzer activator on his motorcycle. The two men cross paths at Mr. Kelly’s neighborhood bar. where a hustler named Scalvo (Jack Harlow) enlists them in a heist. The real mastermind behind it is restaurant owner/crime-boss Mr. Besegai (Michael Stuhlbarg) and his partner, bakery chef Richie (Alfred Molina). The big score ties in with tomorrow’s mayoral election. They think the challenger is no match for long-time crooked incumbent Miccelli (Ron Perlman). The big victory party will be held at a fancy riverport ballroom facility where lots of local business owners will show up to “kiss the ring” as they pass along huge amounts of cash. Before the armored car arrives to pick up the payola, the trio plans to sneak in via motorboat and lift the moola. But the next day, the unthinkable happens…a major political upset. However, Scalvo and his bosses decide to proceed. Everything that can go wrong does, and Rory and Cobby are on the run from Besegai’s “retriever” Booch (Paul Walter Hauser) and Michelli’s ex-police enforcer Toomey (Ving Rhames) along with the entire Boston police force. Can these two bunglers “blow Beantown” and cross the border to chilly Canada? And how does Dr, Rivera fit into the big getaway?

The two main actors prove to be a fairly potent comedy pairing. Damon would be the “straight man” of the two, and he more than fulfills that function as Rory is rigid, maybe “uptight”, and somewhat obsessive over the details, frustrating partners as he wants to write everything down, or needing tidbits repeated. Affleck’s Cobby is the wildcard as he scoffs at Rory’s concerns and fears, while making sure his needs are met, insisting he drive with a painful shoulder wound for fear that he’ll be dumped out on the road. The duo becomes a trio with Chau as the clinical Rivera who upholds her ethics and throws out bits of “self-help jargon” as they dodge bullets and evade endless police cruisers. Harlow is quite funny as the team leader who really doesn’t inspire fear or respect as he tries to mimic pop culture tough guys. Much more intimidating is Stuhlbarg as the perpetually annoyed crime boss, who can’t believe he can’t get smarter “goons”. Molina is much more “laid back” as his “right hand” who’d rather just “make the donuts”. Perelman dominates every scene as the blustery, greedy politico who can’t give up his power, or the graft. And he’s hooked on heaping abuse on his assistant, played as a jittery “toady” by the marvelous Toby Jones. Hauser is dripping with sarcasm and snark as Besegai’s “clean-up man”, while Rhames is at his scary surly best as the SWAT tank-driving “muscle” for the Mayor.

So, how do you celebrate 30 years of feature film directing? If you’re Doug Liman you release two big action comedies…to streaming. Earlier this year he was in a big “kerfuffle” with Amazon Prime over his remake of ROAD HOUSE, and now the main outlet for his newest flick is Apple TV+, though it got the briefest, very limited theatrical run. It’s a shame since both movies would have great appeal for fans of big stunt sequences. While the earlier film focused on the fisticuffs, this one has the most auto-destruction perhaps since the original BLUES BROTHERS (both leave piles of “cop cars”) thanks to that SWAT tank, an armored car, and a fire truck! It’s just a shame that the terrific tech crew (stunts and pyrotechnics) weren’t in service of a stronger script. All we are told of Rory is that he’s a vet who wants to do right to the son taken from him, and we know even less about Cobby, other than his boozy behavior and a wonky flirtation with Rivera (talk about rooting for a couple not to “hook up”). Earlier I noted Damon and Affleck’s part in the Oceans franchise, which helps hammer home that this is the opposite of those slick caper stories, as these bunglers are closer to the early 70s cult fave THAT GANG THAT COULDN’T SHOOT STRAIGHT. If only some of the earlier movie’s grimy charm was upgraded. The impressive supporting cast is really putting in an effort, but some of the twists and turns stretch reality and logic too much. The Boston locales are great (unlike this week’s IT ENDS WITH US this town looks frigid and very “lived in”). Unfortunately all that talent never truly ignites or invigorates THE INSTIGATORS.

2 out of 4

THE INSTIGATORS is now streaming exclusively on Apple TV+