VIOLENT NIGHT – Review

Are you wondering about the perfect holiday movie night present for that action-thriller adrenaline fanatic? Oh but those big, loud, shoot-em-up “thrill-rides” aren’t really invading the multiplex for several months. Well, here’s one that “fits the bill” on both counts cause it’s fight-filled yuletide stunt/explosion spectacular. So just who’s the new action hero at its center? None other than that jolly old whiskered icon himself. And he’s got more than a lump o’ coal for those on his naughty list. Yes, it’s a white Christmas splattered with lotsa’ dripping red on this very noisy VIOLENT NIGHT. As you might think, all is not calm.

Although it’s a pretty mellow Christmas Eve in a British pub as a hard-working red-clad temp “bellies” up to the bar. A few pints ahead of him is a slumped-over Santa (David Harbour). He grumbles a bit about today’s kids being so damn greedy before lurching toward the exit. The barmaid realizes he’s headed to the roof access, but by the time she’s at the top of the stairs, her patron is gone. Plus she spies a flying sled pulled by eight reindeer. Could he have been the “real deal”? Cut to Connecticut, USA for a holiday reunion between Jason Lightstone (Alex Hassell) and his wife Linda (Alexis Louder). They want to share the holiday with their precious six-year-old daughter Trudy (Leah Brody) at his mother’s house. Now Grandma Lightstone’s place isn’t a cozy cottage, but a lavish estate with lots of security and hired caterers serving egg nog and such. Jason is first greeted by greedy older sis Alva (Edi Patterson), brat teen son Burt (Alexander Elliott), and her new “trophy” hubby, “B” (maybe “C”) movie action star Morgan (Cam Gigandet). Finally Granny arrives, the foul-mouthed business tycoon Gertrude (Beverly D’Angelo). As the bickering begins, Santa magically zips in through the fireplace upstairs. He relishes the cookies handmaid by lil’ Trudy (she believes) but dumps the milk in favor of the “good stuff” at the bar. As he enjoys his treat while seated in a massage chair, he hears…gunshots. It appears that the wait staff is actually an armed group of mercenaries led by (code name) “Mr. Scrooge” (John Leguizamo) who want some “undeclared” cash ($300 mil) in a big secret vault there. Santa tries to leave, but the noise has sent the reindeer skyward. And the magic nose touch that sends him up the chimney is on the fritz. So could the defender of the Lightstone family be the jolly old elf himself?

At the center of the story, and prominently featured in all the marketing, is the glowering, rather than jolly, grin of Harbour (looking forward to his reprising of the Red Guardian in the THUNDERBOLTS MCU flick) as the gift-giver turned butt-kicker. Sure he delivers the snark and cynicism we’d expect, but he also shows his tender side as he tries to comfort the sweet Trudy. Which in turn triggers his brutal “human” days. This is a nice contrast to his sweaty panic as the baddies just seem endless and he must “make do” with what’s at hand. Harbour’s got a worthy adversary in Leguizamo, who “Scrooge” really does despise St. Nick and everything Christmas. He’s hilariously single-minded as he lusts for the green while offering a logical explanation (“wires and pulleys”) for any bit of holiday magic. Louder and Hassell have us rooting for the couple to “patch things” up before the dark forces can squelch the beaming smile of Brady who reflects all the childhood wonder of the yuletide. And there are plenty of laughs provided by Gigandet as a wannabe John McClane, Patterson as the greediest of one-percenters, Elliott as her social media-obsessed spawn, and the delightful D’Angelo (a true Christmas movie icon herself) as one big, bawdy Granny whose heart only melts for her “grand-baby”.

Action movie vet director Tommy Wirkola transfers those sensibilities to this seasonal satire, never scrimping on the gore and bone-crunching combat. Much of the parody comes from the script by Josh Miller and Pat Casey (who penned the SONIC flicks), and it works well for the first third or so. Of course, the opening pub sequence, and home delivery montage, owe much to the BAD SANTA comedies, minus the sexy stuff but double the scatology (those reindeer). Unfortunately by the halfway mark, the film hits the “comedy lull” early, getting too somber with the family dynamic and the “backstory” to the Kringle (a hammer-wielding barbarian). Oh, and there’s the whole use of magic powers, which only “kick on” when needed for an “easy out”. Santa’s whole “I don’t understand ’em” doesn’t really give the filmmakers a “pass”. Then, to “juice up” the sagging second act, a painful riff on HOME ALONE booby traps reeks of dramatic desperation, going for easy “gross-out” gags. This really makes the hug-filled heart-warming finale seem like a cliche from so many cable TV holiday fodder. Seeing the trailer I recalled the great satiric TV promo for “The Day the Reindeer Died” in the superior SCROOGED from over 30 years ago (miss you, Dick Donner). Perhaps this is a nice SNL filmed sketch that can’t really be stretched to feature length. Harbour’s fun, but otherwise it’s a fairly vapid VIOLENT NIGHT. Ho-ho-hum.

2 Out of 4

VIOLENT NIGHT opens in theatres everywhere on Friday, December 2, 2022