CLERKS III – Review

Alright you slackers, Labor Day’s in the rearview mirror. Time to “hit the bricks” and get back to work. If your first thought is “Aw, no”, “Ugh!”, or…something we can’t repeat here, then this film might resonate with you. At least that’s what a New Jersey-born filmmaker hopes, since that notion “put him on the map” nearly thirty years ago. And if your earlier response included the “salty talk”, then all the better. Hard to imagine that in 1994 Kevin Smith fashioned a script of his retail drudgery and unleashed CLERKS on the world. Soon he was the darling of TV talk shows, getting offers from the major studios, and even flexed his “acting chops” (plus the grungy lil’ black and white was another jewel in the “indie cred crown” of Miramax Studios…whatever happened with them). Ah, but Kev wasn’t done with those “wage-slave” misfits. He let us check in with them again in 2006, And now, as with many action franchise flicks, it’s time to complete the “trilogy”. So, does the “sheet-signage” on the storefront proclaim “I assure you…we’ve got closure!” in the all-new (and all “blue”) CLERKS III?

Much like that initial entry, it all begins at the start of another long day at the tiny (just two shops) strip mall in Red Bank, NJ. Dante (Brian O’Halloran) unlocks the padlock to the Quick Stop Grocery store. He’s soon joined by old pal Randal (Jeff Anderson) who now owns the place next door. It’s not a video rental spot (though he’s got some “distressed” VHS tapes on the shelves). His old “crib” is a cannabis dispensary… managed by Jay (Jason Mewes) and “Silent” Bob (Smith). Naturally, they still do their “dealings” as though pot was illegal (old habits, y’know). Adding to the daily aggravation is the QSG staff, Elias (Trevor Fehrman), and his mute “toadie” Blockchain (Austin Zajur). As Elias touts his Christian Cryptocurrency Club, the usually mellow Randal becomes agitated and sweaty while wincing in pain. Then he drops. Dante calls an ambulance. The Hospital surgeon reveals that it is indeed a heart attack. As Randall recovers, Dante reflects on his past, including his romance with Becky (Rosario Dawson), from several years ago. after being discharged, Randal has a revelation, a new purpose. He will become a filmmaker. How hard can it be, after all, he watched countless flicks when he was stuck in the video store. And the script will be about his life along with Dante, who is enlisted as the project’s producer. But where will he find the cash? If that’s not enough on “his plate”, Randal, after a disastrous audition day, decides that everyone will play themselves, with Silent Bob doing the photography. Will things go smoothly or will this “future cinematic masterpiece” become the final “straw” that breaks the bond between the two BFFs?

The returning cast members competently slip back into their old characters as though those sixteen, well collectively, twenty-eight years, haven’t been more than a few weeks. O’Halloran is still the cranky, ill-tempered “straight man”, who now confronts his recent loss which is triggered by his best bud’s mortality. This new event hasn’t tempered much of his “slacker snark, although Anderson as Randal has a clearer focus on he finally acquires a “goal”, Plus his anatomical “panic” at the hospital amplifies the “gallows humor”. Mewes is still the coarse motor-mouth as Jay, not accepting the new legality of his “passion”, while giving us a peak at his “performance anxiety”. Smith confirms his physical acting skills as the mute sidekick, though when the “dams bursts” it’s more of the Smith seen in multiple media outlets. Fehrman puts forth a lot of energy as the often irritating Elias, but it’s misspent on a role made to be taken as a target for insults (mostly from Randal). Zajur, as his “SB”, is another talented pantomimist who’s closer to the silent clowns of a century ago. None of these actors can come close to the skills of the gifted Dawson, who breezes in to remind us of “how the pros do it” in a couple of too-brief sequences. There’s a nice reunion with an actress from the original, and two of the hospital staffers are played by a pair of comic actors who deftly “steal the scenes” right away from the principal players. Oh, fans of Smith’s other works in film and TV should enjoy some quick cameos during the film addition montage (hey, there’s an Oscar winner).

In returning to his roots, Smith may be achieving some “closure” to his Jersey-based efforts, but it feels like a major step (s) back for his filmmaking overview. What may have been intended as a “thank-you wink” to his fanbase, instead feels like smug “navel-gazing”. The cascade of media references in his screenplay land with an indulgent “thud”. That’s much like the “audition” that halts the story flow so that the creator can impress us with his array of the “cool kids” that popped in for a few week one-liners (some maybe ad-libbed, others from better films). The “let’s shoot a flick after hours” vibe from the mid-90s, has a “spinning its wheels” air in the new century. And the untrained performances from the “day” don’t have the same clueless charm. After his own “medical episode”, Smith felt he had things to address, but a return to retail doesn’t gel with issues of mortality and legacy. And as a filmmaker, he lingers too long on bits of verbal business, with the “sex talk” more adolescent than ever, and allowing his cast to grimace and mug, as though they were extras in a “two-reeler”. And to echo his cinema “alter ego”, the Quick Stop looks too tidy in color, losing its grimy florescent -lit Hell feel of the first flick. The hard-core “Kev-heads” will relish the return, but casual viewers will feel that a trio may not be “the magic number” for the middle-aged hourly register-button-pushers of CLERKS III.

1.5 Out of 4

CLERKS III will be playing in select theatres for a limited engagement from Tuesday, September 13 through Sunday, September 18, 2022