BETA TEST – Review

In 1973, Erica Jong wrote FEAR OF FLYING, a wildly popular erotic novel that introduced  us to the term “zipless f**k” – an anonymous, one-time, spur of the moment boink. No names. No thought of repeating the experience. BETA TEST gives a teched-up variation on the concept, raising more questions than answers for those who participate. Each lucky (?) tryster receives an engraved invitation to meet an unknown admirer in a posh hotel. We follow the course of a few who go for it.

The suspenseful drama opens with a woman confessing her recent adventure to her spouse. The disclosure is not at all well-received. We switch quickly to the main story, involving Jordan Hines, a smarmy Hollywood agent (are there other kinds?) played by co-writer and co-director Jim Cummings. He’s scrambling to save his agency in a showbiz era that threatens their relevance. He’s also six weeks away from marrying Caroline (Virginia Newcomb), who seems almost saintly in her patience for his manic, erratic actions. After wrestling with his conscience, Hines meets the mystery lover for a masked roll in the luxury hay, and becomes obsessed with finding out who she was, and why the unknown arranger decided to extend the offer to him.

The rest of the movie focuses on Hines’ quest to find the woman and reasons for what appears to be a large-scale operation with unknown motives. He turns to his agency partner and best bud, PJ (also the other half of the writing/directing tandem, PJ McCabe) to help learn the how and why of this bizarre bit of matchmaking.

Maybe it’s a cult on the order of the masked-and-robed hedonists in EYES WIDE SHUT. Maybe it’s a blackmail scheme. A few references to Harvey Weinstein and the current climate for sexual harassment raise the question of whether it’s the work of one or more grudge holders from perceived peccadilloes past.

The setup is fine, but following its execution is almost exhausting. Director Cummings should have reined in actor Cummings on the level of histrionics deployed to present his character’s growing frustration and paranoia. Actor Cummings should have urged writer Cummings to pay more attention to the coherence of his screenplay. Writer McCabe shortchanged actor McCabe on his share of screen time. The movie is a long way in before some disparate plot lines start fitting into the picture; some never really do. The very attractive cast and upscale sets collectively give us the glamour of Hollywood’s slice of showbiz, complete with the shallowness of everyone’s dreams and tactics for “making it.” What we learn about those whys and wherefores is reasonably satisfying but investment in the characters – especially Hines – may well fade for others as it did for me. Pay attention to teeth. They’re more significant than you’d expect.

BETA TEST opens Nov. 5 in theaters in some locations and streaming on Amazon Prime and other platforms.

RATING: 1.5 out of 4 stars