THE HITMAN’S WIFE’S BODYGUARD – Review

The first movie, THE HITMAN’S BODYGUARD (2017), without “wife’s” in the title, was a delightful buddy action comedy. The drop-off of this sequel is monstrously precipitous, making it a huge disappointment-in-waiting for fans of the progenitor. How can a cast of Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, Salma Hayek, Antonio Banderas, Gary Oldman and Morgan – freakin’ – Freeman go so wrong? It appears that so much was spent on the stars, and a slew of lovely European locations, that there was nothing left for the screenplay or editing. It winds up a hyperbolic mess with only occasional laughs to reward the viewer.

In THE HITMAN’S WIFE’S BODYGUARD, bodyguard Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds) is stressed out by the continued suspension of the bodyguard license he lost in the first movie. He’s haunted by dreams (literally) of winning industry honors, just like his dad. The last thing he wants is to see hitman Darius Kincaid ( Samuel L. Jackson), newly married to con artist Sonia Kincaid (Salma Hayek). But the demented duo decides they need him to defeat bad guy Aristotle Papadopolous ( Antonio Banderas), a wealthy, mad Greek who wants to restore his country to its ancient glory by destroying the European Union. As if that makes sense. Also in the cast, in smaller roles, are Morgan Freeman, Tom Hopper, Richard Grant, Frank Grillo and Gary Oldman.

The plot is just an excuse for everyone to run around to deal with an assortment of threats and foes. Hayek and Banderas, particularly, overact to the point of cartoonishness – seemingly on purpose. The bond between Reynolds and Jackson that evolved so charmingly in the first is reduced to ashes. Instead of a comedy, this plays out almost as a spoof on the first film, missing even that mark. Rarely has so much bankable talent been put to such poor use.

The film references early James Bond and other action films, and specially calls out the 1987 Goldie Hawn – Kurt Russell comedy OVERBOARD, but little comedic use is made of the references. Often after some spectacular CGI explosion, there is a pause to insert a witty quip, but all we get are gems like “I hope they are OK” after a boat explodes.

Tom O’Connor was the sole credited writer for the first. For this sequel, he was joined by brothers Brandon and Phillip Murphy. Two heads may be better than one, but this is evidence that three can be worse than either. Patrick Hughes directed both, causing one to wonder how he lost so much of his comedic sensibility in the four intervening years. I’m guessing that the cast had a lot more fun horsing around on the sets than most of us will have watching the result.

This pointless sequel is a veritable poster-child for unnecessary and bad sequels, a total waste of a good cast and a total waste of viewers’ time. THE HITMAN’S WIFE’S BODYGUARD opens Wednesday, June 16, in theaters nationwide.

RATING: 1 out of 4 stars