THE FAREWELL – Review

THE FAREWELL quietly examines the cultural differences of accepting death. Director Lulu Wang offers nuance instead of sappy sentimentality when exploring how people react when faced with the harsh truths about life… especially when it’s the truth that one family keeps from their dying matriarch.

Billi (Awkwafina) struggles to get by but remains fiercely independent while living in New York City. Her parents view her as overly emotional and impulsive, which is why they try to hide the news that her Nai-Nai (grandmother to us) has been given up to three months to live. The family concocts a plan to gather under the joyful guise of an expedited wedding to assure Nai-Nai’s happiness in her final weeks and so that all of the family can visit her in China.

Lulu Wang transports American audiences to a rich culture, full of unique traditions including love for gathering together with family over conversation and food. The irony of this, of course, is that these happy scenes around the table are filled with underlying nervousness as the fake wedding becomes more and more real. Wang lets these scenes breathe naturally, and takes a matter-of-fact visual approach in these moments and throughout. She’s letting the culture speak for itself instead of affecting a stylized or critical lens on the situation.

Given the nature of these type of stories, the large family at the center of the film always seems more grounded than eccentric caricatures, which might turn off some audiences because of how scenes play out in awkward pauses and just genuinely uncomfortable. While each member makes their presence known in both humorous and dramatic ways, it’s the dying matriarch of the family who brightens the film and breathes life into each scene with her spunky demeanor. Shuzhen Zao is a revelation as the exuberant Nai-Nai. What could have simply been a morose woman on her deathbed is depicted as the one family member living life unafraid and unwilling to give up.

It becomes clear that this “good lie” that the family is keeping from Nai-Nai is something that is common with many Chinese families who are faced with a dying relative. Lulu Wan’s script shows both sides of the situation, as her family thinks that this is what’s best for her happiness, while Billi’s more American attitude feels that she deserves to have the right to say a proper goodbye. While the Chinese reasoning and approach to certain aspects of life and death might seem odd, it’s these little bits of dialogue and traditions that will stick with you and bring about personal conversations of your own that, you too, might have been previously afraid to talk about.

Biili’s repressed emotions lead to one of the most effective themes in THE FAREWELL: does showing restraint or showing emotion prove an individual’s strength. And like Billi’s struggles and inner turmoil (played perfectly by Awkwafina), THE FAREWELL masterfully shows restraint in its philosophical approach and proves that neither culture has the right answers to the complex questions of life and death.

Overall score: 3 out of 4

THE FAREWELL opens in limited release July 26th