THE CURSE OF LA LLORONA – Review

New ghost, new family, same old rules and scares. A new ghastly member in “The Conjuring Universe” haunts theaters beginning this Friday, but despite the name and the occasional Spanish language, you’d be hard-pressed to find many distinguishing elements in THE CURSE OF LA LLORONA. In fact, one can argue that many of the scenes seem like unused material from horror master James Wan’s more successful films, just repackaged in a watered-down attempt at Mexican folklore. But hey – slap THE CONJURING name on the poster and sprinkle in some screaming ghost faces, and you have a serviceable Friday night date flick for the high-school crowd.

Set in 1973 Los Angeles, the film tells the story of Anna Tate-Garcia (Linda Cardellini), a social worker and widowed single mom. When she’s called to the home of Patricia Alvarez (Patricia Velasquez) and finds her two young sons locked in a closet, she interprets their terrified mother’s actions as a sign of abuse. The boys are soon taken to a children’s shelter where they awaken one night by the sounds of a crying woman. When their bodies are later pulled from the river, their distraught mother blames Anna for letting the legendary spirit, La Llorona, take her children. Soon after, Anna and her two children believe that they are now being hunted by the ghostly spirit.

I lost count of how many times characters walk slowly towards creepy things, like creaking sounds, curtains mysteriously moving, an umbrella blowing away when you approach it, crying sounds, and a number of other similar scenes. Each time it plays our exactly the same. Slow walking letting the audience know something is coming. Another sound is then heard or something happens. And as they get closer, that mysterious something isn’t necessarily the scary thing. In fact, it’s just a ruse so something can appear behind them or above them without their knowing – the old Hitchcock gimmick of showing the audience something before the character knows or sees it. When executed effectively, it can be a nice trick for a director to pull out of his magic hat. Despite director Michael Chaves executing this well at times, he relies on it far too often to the point that the repetition takes away from the trick.

Kids in horror movies can be truly effective. Either they are the creepy kids you want out of your house, or they can be the heart of the story as their fear and innocence often mirror that of the audience. In the case of LA LLORONA, the kids are underwritten and act as dumb as humanly possible. The two child leads avoid talking about what they are seeing and experiencing not only with each other but also with any of the adults. This, of course, gets pretty awkward and a little silly when extremely obvious hand marks are burned into their arms. Furthermore, their stupid decisions only serve to trigger more creepy sequences. Whether it is reaching for a doll just out of reach or leaving a car for no other reason than to investigate what’s going on, the film could be retitled: Kids Do the Dumbest Things.

While the majority of the film takes itself far too serious, a third act introduction of a former priest-turned-curandero played by Raymond Cruz adds a little levity to the proceedings. His dry, deadpan delivery elevates the finale. Unfortunately, the late opportunity to leave an intriguing impact on the audience is floundered. Much like the overall story and scares, his bag of tricks including spiritual totems, an ancient cross, and magical dust all fall incredibly flat. In the end, there isn’t much to grab ahold of in LA LLORONA. A lack of creative scares, relatable characters, and an original story leaves viewers grasping for anything to take with them after the breezy 93-min runtime. Given the Mexican folklore influence, it’s hard not to feel that this entry in “The Conjuring Universe” is a missed opportunity crying desperately to find a voice of its own.

Overall Score: 2 out of 5

THE CURSE OF LA LLORONA opens in theaters April 19th