MORTAL ENGINES – Review

As the last few days of the year float past, the studios want to give us a glimpse into the next few years. And, surprise, things aren’t looking good. Could the reason be this new film’s source material? Why, well it’s from the “young adult novel’ section of your local bookstore (or more likely, website). Most works of that genre could have a similar subtitle: “back to the bad ole’ future”. As usual, the world’s gone “down the tubes” thanks to the oldsters and its only hope is a group of determined teens (frequently attracted to each other, of course). This movie year began with the (thankfully) last entry in THE MAZE RUNNER series, then stumbled in the Summer THE DARKEST MINDS (first and last hopefully). Now, this literary adaptation has some heavy hitters involved: the New Zealand studio behind THE LORD OF THE RINGS and THE HOBBIT trilogies. Will these box offices champs bestow their “golden” touch on MORTAL ENGINES?

As mentioned, this takes place many years from today, after much of Earth and its resources were destroyed by the devastating “Sixty Minute War”. Now mobile cities, literal towns on tank tracks, known as “predators’ look for food and fuel. As the story starts, one smaller city, Salzhaken, is chased and swallowed uphole by a much bigger predator, the vast remains of London. Thaddeus Valentine (Hugo Weaving), head of the Guild of Historians, has made Lord Mayor Magnus happy with the new prize. But what Valentine doesn’t know is that one of the tiny town’s citizens is the wanted young woman named Hester Shaw (Hera Hilmar), who has vowed to kill him. And she almost succeeds, wounding him with a blade. Luckily a junior historian, Tom Natsworthy (Robert Sheehan) tries to apprehend her, but they are both swept out of the city and must team up to survive the harsh wastelands known as the “Great Hunting Ground”. After the duo team up, they are captured by scavengers and put up for auction as slaves. Luckily Hester’s old friend Anna Fang (Jihae) rescues them and takes them in an air glider to the outlaw floating city of Airhaven, an outpost of the “Anti-Traction League”. Meanwhile, Valentine is told of a captured stalker, a zombie cyborg named Shrike (Stephen Lang), who screams Hester’s name. To eliminate his attacker, Valentine travels to the sea-based prison and releases Shrike. But that’s just part of Valentine’s plan. Tom and Hester learn that he wants to use one of the old weapons from the great war, a city destroyer named MEDUSA to take down the Shield Wall that protects the Asian Hunting Ground. Naturally Hester has the tiny device (a “goober” as Peter B. Parker would say) that will shut down MEDUSA. But can these plucky young rebels stop Valentine’s quest for world domination? And more importantly, will Tom and Hester reveal their true feelings to each other?

The cast of fairly new film faces is led by a couple of veterans who give their best effort with the trite turgid script. Weaving, fairly disguised in his flowing locks and thick bushy beard (I really thought he was channeling 1980’s Rip Torn in his first close-up), furrows his brow and pontificates as though he were in a Shakespearian tragedy. his professorial stance can’t hide his evil intent (it’s a wonder that he wasn’t called on to twirl the mustache of his beard). Lang hides a bit better in his motion-capture performance as the shambling Shrike. And though he’s to be the unstoppable living dead killer, he somehow makes the doomed droid the story’s most complex character, evoking the pathos of classic screen ghouls like the Frankenstein Monster or The Mummy (even some Phantom of the Opera’s sadness and longing). Actually, the flashbacks telling his tale are more compelling than the hoary rebels versus the state plot. Adding to Lang’s work is the design of Shrike, with rotted flesh pushing against rusted metal, green eyes blazing he seems to have escaped from Mike Mignola’s Hellboy books. As for the “newbies”, Hilmar’s expressive eyes are put to good use in the film’s first scenes with Hester’s lower face (and nasty scars) hidden by a bandana, perhaps ready to rob a stagecoach later. Sheehan is a nerdy goofball, whose charms jsut can’t break through Hester’s ice cold demeanor. But he toughens up when his Tom discovers his talents as a flying ace (right outta’ left field). Jihae as Fang with her Eraserhead-inspired ‘do either sneers or barks out commands (“Move!”, “Get going!”, “Leave him!”,etc.), but isn’t allowed to be a compelling character. The rest of the ensemble is comprised of very photogenic young model-types (lots of make-up and hair product in this desperate world) or leering grotesques.

The only real reason to see this drek is the stunning, imaginative art direction. Via the latest film effects, they’ve made a most believable “retro-futuristic” world with lumbering, rumbling cities straight out of a “steam punk” fan’s dreams. Towering buildings fold in on themselves to pick up speed, looking as though they could break apart at any bump in the road. This mobile London sports all the familiar landmarks with St. Paul’s Catherdral an essential part of the finale with its endless spiraling stairways and hidden-passage laden crypts. A lot of thought went into the costuming with the high classes sporting long robes and dusters, almost as clever as the guards whose derbies and beefeater togs clash with their machine guns. The design work of the film will make a gorgeous hardcover “making of” tome one day. On the other hand, the great art is in the service of an overbaked, ridiculous script. We knew we’re in trouble early on when Valentine is stabbed in the gut, but instead of rushing off for medical attention, he joins the chase for Hester. Yeah. Forbidden romance is hinted at, but never acted upon. Instead different characters exchange smouldering looks as if posing for paperback covers. The story lurches from one badly edited action sequence to the next, trying to work up a sense of urgency. To generate some sort of excitement the bombastic score by Junkie XL (so great on MAD MAX: FURY ROAD) is amped up to ear-splitting levels, without a respite from the pounding percussion. First time feature director Christian Rivers loses the fight to bring the meandering script from Fran Walsh, Phillippa Boyens, and Peter Jackson (really), adapting the Phillip Reeve novel, to cinematic life. These MORTAL ENGINES needed a complete overhaul before they stalled out and crashed at your local multiplex.

1.5 Out of 5