THE WILDE WEDDING – Review

With the big end of the year holidays still a couple of weeks away, what kind of big event can gather a big family (or a diverse acting ensemble)? It’s gotta’ be a comedy so a funeral is probably out of the question, although both the British and US versions of DEATH AT A FUNERAL are pretty darned hilarious. No, there’s got to be a romantic angle, so the setting should probably be a wedding. Film makers have used them for lots of comedies that are ripe with conflict from all the versions of FATHER OF THE BRIDE to those big cast showcases like Robert Altman’s A WEDDING and the big, big superstar-studded , appropriately named THE BIG WEDDING just three years ago. And like that flick, some of the exes are involved, upping the tension and making for THE WILDE WEDDING that lives up to its name (spelling explained shortly).

Laying out the clustered family tree is teenage film maker Mackenzie (Grace Van Patten), who, conveniently for the audience, is making a documentary of the event for her grandmother (don’t call her that), celebrated film actress Eve Wilde (Glenn Close). Mackenzie is the daughter of one of three sons that Eve had with her first husband, stage icon Lawrence Darling (John Malkovich). Eve is about to tie the knot with her fourth husband, renown British author Harold (Patrick Stewart). He’s not big on show biz, so his two twenty-something daughters quiz him on Eve’s career during the trip to the swanky wooded estate where the ceremony will take place. Mackenzie’s uncles are the bumbling single dad Jimmy (Noah Emmerich) and actor/ladies man Ethan (Peter Facinelli). She lives her father Rory (Jack Davenport), a semi-retired songwriter/musician who was part of a rock band headlined by ex-wife (and Mack’s mum) Priscilla (Minnie Driver), who kept the band. She’s remarried and has a pre-teen son named Sam. Oh, and did I mention that Mackenzie pines for her cousin, Eve’s nephew, Dylan (Tim Boardman). But with an ex-wife and an ex-husband in attendance, that’s the least of the scandals and forbidden hook-ups that will occur during the wedding eve. But if everything went smoothly…well. where’s the fun in that?

For classic film fans, this isn’t quite the DANGEROUS LIAISONS reunion they may have been waiting for over the past (nearly) thirty years. Close is radiant as the former screen queen (certainly more content and, er, stable than her former stage role of Norma Desmond), but she has little to do other than gaze longingly at her former and future mates. We hear of her other adored movie roles, but other than a soliloquy to the bathroom mirror, there’s just talk. Malkovich gets a nice reprieve from the usual oddballs (the RED flicks) as a guy who’s more grounded, but will go into a theatrical gesture with little prompting (usually as he recounts another stage award). Stewart, sporting a ridiculous permed wig, is amusing as a stuffy, pompous jerk, maybe a refined version of the rom-com “Baxter” cliché’, but he’s mostly baffled and befuddled. As for the grown sibs and spouses, Driver gets to indulge in some campy diva behavior as the preening rocker that over-indulges in every excess. Of the three grown sons, Davenport projects an easy-going everyman vibe, as a fella’ who doesn’t need the spotlight any longer. The other actors don’t fare as well. Emmerich is a clumsy boob who moons over a bus driver (their eyes meet for a split-second, so he’s on the phone with her transit company), while squawking “get a ‘pre-nup'” to his mum. Facinelli is the “player” whose “bad boy” persona (oooo, he’s got a motorcycle, oh with a sidecar for his pooch…awww) is catnip to several of the ladies.

It’s still an impressive cast, but writer/director Damian Harris has shackled them with a story that’s calculated to hit every “sitcom-like” beat. While he’s aiming for charm, the result is more “smarm” with scenes teetering on edge of cloying and precious (let’s dance on the dining table, everyone). The opulent mansion and the surrounding woods and beach look lovely as gallons of wine are guzzled and a tin of naughty naughty chocolates are passed around (what’s that special spice). The film lurches along until the big reveal prompts an ending that would have seemed implausible and trite fifty years ago (really,everybody should have known better). And of course, two of the young lovers must leap, fully clothed, in the swimming pool near the finale’. It’s rather symbolic because despite this impeccable ensemble, THE WILDE WEDDING is all wet.

1.5 out of 5