PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES – Review

L-R: Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) threatens and Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), in PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES. Photo: Peter Mountain. © Disney Enterprises, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

“Pirates of the Caribbean” sets sail for one more adventure at sea, in what is being hinted to be the final chapter in the franchise, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES. The result is mixed, with the good being Javier Bardem and Geoffrey Rush as villains, great visual effects, and a nice, satisfying ending. The bad being having to endure an over-long, nonsensical plot with sporadic moments of entertainment to get there.

OK, everyone has a guilty pleasure, and mine might be pirates. As a fan of all things pirate, including silly pirate movies, it was a delight when the first PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, Disney’s attempt to turn an amusement park ride into a movie, turned out to be such fun. Audiences were surprised by the original movie, which harkened back to the fun of Errol Flynn adventures at sea. The Gore Verbinski-directed original featured Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley as the romantic leads, and Johnny Depp as a loopy, colorful pirate that was comic relief as much as protagonist, in a tale of high-seas adventure, comedy and romance.

But after three sequels, the franchise has lost its luster, as it sank into a series of increasingly complicated ghost stories and sea legends magical story lines, more in the realm of fantasy than “Treasure Island.” After four sequels, this pirate movie franchise has clearly played out.

Still, this latest installment DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES is better than the previous one, ON STRANGER TIDES. Of course, it is no where near the fun of the first film. While this sequel has dazzling effects, some enjoyable moments and wraps it all up with a nice finish, the confusing, rambling plot all but sinks it before it gets to that end.

After being absent from the last one, Bloom returns as Will Turner in DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES, as does Geoffrey Rush as Captain Hector Barbossa, the nemesis of Johnny Depp’s Captain Jack Sparrow, along with the whole colorful, crazy crew of pirates. This time, the romantic leads are Henry Turner (Brenton Thwaites), the son of Will Turner and wife Elizabeth, and a beautiful astronomer named Carina Smyth (Kaya Scodelario).

The main villain is Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem), an angry ghostly captain leading a crew of dead men, trapped in the Devil’s Triangle by a young Jack Sparrow. Salazar is set on revenge, and release from the curse that has kept him and his crew half-dead for years. The key to that is a magical object called the Trident of Poseidon. Resourceful scientist Carina is also seeking the Trident, for her own reasons, using her scientific knowledge and skills, with the help of British seaman Henry. Naturally Jack’s magic compass plays a part too.

Depp does his usual bit as Jack Sparrow, drunken and mumbling as always, vaguely clueless and seeming to accidentally stumble out of harm’s way over and over, with the occasional moment of clarity and cleverness. Geoffrey Rush is still wonderfully entertaining as cold-hearted, smiling Barbossa, now living a life of luxury aboard his ship, at least until Salazar’s ghost ship turns up. Barbossa and Salazar team up to hunt Sparrow, but their prey is elusive, naturally.

The plot, frankly, makes no sense, and has a kind of unsettling magic-tops-science theme. Still, the real point of the whole film is to showcase familiar characters and show off some really fabulous special effects, before tying it all up.

Those visual effects are the real treat of this film, and mostly why it is worthwhile for fans of the series to see it. The effects for Bardem and his disintegrating ghost pirates are particularly amazing. Bardem’s CGI hair seeming to wave as if underwater even on the ship’s dry deck. Salazar’s disintegrating ghost ship is a wonderfully eerie creation, which swallows up other ships, and the equally disintegrating crew members are amazing as well.

In other visual effects scenes, the pirates drag a whole building through a seaport, knocking down buildings as they go. A wall of water hovers over the action in the final sequence. Amazing effects and outstanding make-up – again, Bardem in particular – dot the whole film.

While the plot is dimwitted, there are some good comic moments. Watch for a cameo by Sir Paul McCartney as a Jack Sparrow relative, one of the little comic gems in the film. The writers borrowed from Charlie Chaplin for a scene where Sparrow is uncovered asleep in the safe he is supposed to rob, and other physical comedy bits abound. Down-on-his-luck, Sparrow’s shabby little ship is named the Dying Gull, which of course is a cute reference to the famous Roman statue the Dying Gaul.

Geoffrey Rush does his usual good job as the comically menacing Barbossa. But Bardem does the real menacing, with deliciously chilling style. Having these two gifted actors on board really gives a boost to the film.

After rambling around, the plot gets around to the final sequence, which really delivers and gives the series a fan-pleasing, satisfying send-off, with Jack Sparrow literally sailing off into the sunset.

Truthfully, it was time to let this franchise go, although one never knows if a franchise is truly gone now, what with prequels and so forth. But PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES wraps it all up nicely, although it could lose about 20 minutes of pointless plot. Still Johnny Depp made one heck of a fun pirate, and there are other pirate stories to tell. Maybe Depp in movie versions of Gilbert and Sullivan’s THE PIRATES OF PENZANCE or PETER AND THE STARCATCHER? Arrrgh, it could work, matey.