MASTERMINDS (2016) – Review

Hey, there’s another movie out this weekend that’s “based on a true story”, but as the Monty Pythons would say, “And now for something completely different”. It’s not a gripping disaster like DEEPWATER HORIZON (although its release problems were a disaster), but a “caper farce”. This flick concerns a real life heist like THE BRINK’S JOB, but committed by THE GANG THAT COULDN’T SHOOT STRAIGHT. This crew gets by on sheer, bumbling stupidity because nobody would ever seriously refer to them as MASTERMINDS.

The first mastermind we meet is Loomis Fargo money transport armored truck driver David Ghatt (Zach Galifiankis) circa 1997. Via voiceover he explains that he leads a dull life, that he’d even welcome a hold-up, despite the fact that he’ll soon tie the knot with his off-kilter fiance’ Jandice (Kate McKinnon). His world is soon rocked by the hiring of his new work partner, blonde bombshell Kelly Campbell (Kristen Wiig). David enjoys her company, even harboring a crush on her. Unfortunately Kelly is fired by LF and David’s boredom returns. Kelly begins hanging out with the “wrong crowd of loose morals” over at Steve’s (Owen Wilson) “high-rise” double-wide trailer. An afternoon TV news report inspires Steve to rob Kelly’s old employers, and David ‘s the perfect patsy. Kelly meets David at the diner, and while Steve and his posse listen at the next booth, she professes her feelings for David and desire to run away with him to Mexico. The plan: David will fill a van full of money, meet up with her and Steve (only known as “Geppetto” to him), David will be given a small bit of cash, then he’ll fly off to Mexico, and Kelly will soon join him with a bigger share of the score (a cool 17 mil!). After the job, David holes up in a posh south-of-the-border hotel and pleads via phone to Kelly, urging her to hurry down. But she stays put, and Steve alerts the police to his whereabouts. When they fail to capture David, he learns of Steve’s identity and threatens to turn him in. This prompts Steve to hire hitman Mike (Jason Sudeikis), while two FBI agents (Leslie Jones and Jon Daly) grill Kelly back in the states. Just how long will David’s really, really dumb luck last?

Galifianakis, his full thick beard framed by a wig inspired by any number of late 70’s TV starlets, commits to this clueless, southern-fried aggressively dim character (closer to THE CAMPAIGN than THE HANGOVER flicks). Though few of the gags work (many land with a thud), he truly gives all of his nearly endless energy. Wiig is a bit brighter, as the reluctant crime noir “femme fatale”, showing us that Kelly likes David just not “in that way”, until she’s won over by his puppy-like loyalty. On the flip side, McKinnon as the jilted Jandice (jaundice?) puts out a delightfully creepy vibe with her frozen smile (effective when she poses for stilted engagement pix) and breathy line delivery. The real mastermind may be Wilson as the planner (“I’m the puppeteer…I pull the strings”) who appears to be in pain as he tries to squeeze a new strategy out of his thick skull. But he is a tad smarter than his cronies, which leads to several scenes of frustration at David’s antics. Sudeikis, in his pencil-thin mustache and slicked-back hair, does a riff on 70’s era Burt Reynolds-style wise guy, macho action studs. That is, until a plot twist switched on his tender, caring side. Jones generates some laughs as the aggravated, high-strung fed, who can’t fathom how these buffoons get away with all that moolah, her performance echoing much of her SNL work.

Speaking of that TV institution, its mastermind, Lorne Michaels, is one of this film’s producers. This may account, not only for the many SNL vets here, but for its loose, “let’s see where it goes” improv vibe, along with the TV writing trio. But the real guiding force is director Jared Hess, best known for the cult hit NAPOLEAN DYNAMITE, whose movie track record since has been spotty at best (last year’s DON VERDEAN bounced right from theatres to VOD in a matter of days). This new effort won’t add any luster despite the impressive ensemble. Giving characters funny fashions and facial hair doesn’t distract from the clunky, dull script and predictable situations. After a brisk first half-hour or so, the film settles into a sloppy, start-and-stop pacing, not helped by several easy “gross-out” gags ( a swimming pool “accident”? CADDYSHACK did it better 36 years ago), and a slapstick street chase that never delivers the laughs or thrills. It just seems to be a classic example of “the script needs some work, but the cast can come up with something on set. As talented as they are, and my gosh nearly all of the new GHOSTBUSTERS are here, they can’t make this fly. Some great talents, like the terrific Ken Marino (IN A WORLD), are wasted in throw-away bits (a nose whistler…really?). Entertainment Weekly featured this flick in their Summer preview issue…of 2015 (supposedly it was nine months old by then)! So maybe comedy does have a shelf life, an expiration date, because after a couple of years MASTERMINDS is more than ripe…it really smells…desperate.

1.5 Out of 5