ROCK THE KASBAH – The Review

“Long live rock and roll!” Turns out that this is really true. I mean the Rolling Stones are still filling up arenas well past the usual retirement age, as does Paul McCarthy (excuse me, SIR Paul!). Well, some of those rockers do slow down a bit and ease into more pop ballads and standards. We saw that earlier this year with Al Pacino as DANNY COLLINS. Is the same true for their managers and agents? Hey, Christopher Plummer took on that role with Al. This new film’s focus on one such aging music agent, a fellow who will never let go of the beat, the melody. And what actor still embodies rock star cool? How about Mr. Bill Murray. Tossing him into the music scene should guarantee big laughs, but how about stranding him in the volatile Middle East for a fish out of water twist? With the bullets and bombs whizzing by can Mr M still ROCK THE KASBAH?

According to the opening title card, the story takes place in the recent past. Talent agent Richie Lanz (Murray) has seen better days. Operating out of a dingy motel room in Van Nuys CA, the former big-time music agent (the walls are filled with pix of him with various super groups and stars) ekes out a living by bilking aspiring, gullible singers. His only true client Ronnie (Zooey Deschanel) doubles as his secretary. One evening, as she belts out a ballad at a local dive bar, Richie is approached by a hard partyin’ USO rep who wants Ronnie to be part of a touring show of military bases in the Mideast. Within days Richie and Ronnie arrive in Kabul, Afghanistan. She wants to jump on the first plane back to the states, but Richie pleads with her to stick it out. But later, back at their dusty hotel, Ronnie does hop on a transport while Richie showers. Oh, and she took all his cash and his passport. After encounters with a surly career soldier ‘Bombay’ Brian (Bruce Willis) and high-priced hooker Merci (Kate Hudson), Richie is recruited by two fast-talking American hustlers Jake (James Caan) and Nick (Danny McBride) to deliver some weapons to a tiny desert village, which will, in turn, net Richie some quick dough. But his plans are sidetracked when he hears the gorgeous melodies produced by a local teenage girl. She’d be perfect for the national hit TV singing competition show “Afghan Star”. Can Richie convince her staunchly religious father and the show’s producers to give her a chance at stardom?

The early USA-based sequences showcase Murray at his laid-back con man best, recalling his STRIPES and GHOSTBUSTERS roles as he engages in some twisty word games to acquire the “development fee” from a seemingly tone-deaf client. He’s having fun here, and in the travel sequences. But our good will for him can only carry the flick along so far. The extreme culture clash doesn’t prove to be a fertile funny backdrop and soon Murray is reprising his SNL lounge singer bit before a stoic group of locals in a desperate bid to generate some laughs. His dazed, “hang-dog” in a stupor gaze truly wears thin at the one hour mark. Willis squints and glares as he brandishes all manner of firepower. His energy level appears low also, even as he drones on about his dreams of publishing a memoir. The most ludicrous, under-written character may be Hudson’s Merci, a southern-fried take on the hooker with a heart of gold and a business degree, a role better played by Jamie Lee Curtis way back in TRADING PLACES. Her drawl and wacky fashion sense (a top hat…really?) just seem forced. Those fans of TV’s “New Girl” will be most disappointed with the sudden disappearance of Ms. Deschanel, pulling a Janet (PSYCHO) Leigh move after barely a single song and less than ten minutes of screen time (now a flick about her and Murray hitting a bunch of dive bars would be much more fun!). Caan and McBride appear to be riffing on their fast-talking roles from (better) TV shows and films (they could’ve been called the Machina brothers since their only purpose is to get the script’s ‘B’ plot rolling). The singing discovery Salima (Leem Lubany) has a dazzling screen presence, but has little to do besides rebuffing Murray’s plans and lip-syncing Cat Stevens standards.

Can this really be a film directed by Barry Levinson, the man behind such classics as DINER and RAIN MAN (and to be fair, duds like TOYS)? Once the story’s in the sand it just lurches from one increasingly unfunny set piece to the next. The main idea of a low-rent show-biz sleaze just collides with an after-thought short story about a brave, noble young woman defying her repressive culture in song (the end credit dedication seems more than a tad condescending). You can feel the script’s wheels spinning during the endless scenes backstage at the TV show and in Merci’s opulent trailer (the aftermath of her amorous encounters are supposed to be hysterical…um…yeah). After a promising, fairly entertaining opening half hour, the film feels like an endless trek through a vast desert with no oasis of humor or entertainment in sight. Levinson expertly mixed politics and comedy years ago with WAG THE DOG, but movie audiences will feel scorched and parched by ROCK THE KASBAH.

2.5 Out of 5