PAN – The Review

By Cate Marquis

Audiences might expect the Peter Pan prequel PAN to be a big screen adaptation of  humorist Dave Barry’s and writer Ridley Pearson’s bestselling “Peter and the Starcatchers,” a funny, clever, imaginative prequel to J.M. Barrie’s beloved classic “Peter Pan,” or perhaps an adaption of the smart, funny, creative Broadway musical they wrote, “Peter and the Starcatcher,” a Tony Award-winning production that delighted grown-ups as well as kids.

Sadly, PAN is neither.

PAN is a kind of prequel to Peter Pan, but the cleverness, charm and humor of “Peter and the Starcatcher” are entirely missing in this disappointing big-budget extravaganza. Instead, “Pan” features a line-up of Hollywood stars, lavish costumes and sets with dazzling visual effects but a script cobbled together from  tired, overly familiar kid’s adventure movie tropes, a movie that brings to mind 2013’s “The Lone Ranger.” It seems like the filmmakers spent so much on the cast and effects that there was nothing left for a scriptwriter. PAN has a plot that is a mash-up of “Oliver Twist” and “Star Wars,” with a fistful of kid-friendly adventure movie cliches thrown in. “Original, charming and smart” are not words associated with this turkey. “All style and no substance” are more apt.

Levi Miller plays the future Peter Pan, who was abandoned by his mother (Amanda Seyfried) on the steps of a London orphanage (in a wink to movie history, cinephiles might note it is in Lambeth, where Charlie Chaplin grew up, a star who spent part of his childhood in an orphanage). However, this story is set not in the Victorian era but during World War II. During a bombing raid, underfed Peter and his pal Nibs (Lewis MacDougall) discover that the sinister nun (Kathy Burke) who runs the orphanage is both hoarding supplies and selling orphans to a mysterious pirate. Peter is captured by the pirates, and whisked away on a flying sailing ship to a floating island. The pirate who rules the island, Blackbeard (Hugh Jackman), greets the new boys by telling they they are now “free” – but only free to work in his mines, digging for a magical fairy-dust mineral.

In the mines, Peter meets a wise-cracking Han Solo-type named Hook (Garrett Hedlund), and they hatch a plot to escape to the jungle beyond the compound wall. There they meet princess Tiger Lily (Rooney Mara), who is not impressed with Hook despite his attempts to charm, but who helps Peter in his search for his mother. While Hedlund and Mara do a kind of Han and Leia stick, young Miller and Jackman play out a fast-paced adventure version of “Oliver Twist” mixed with a little “Peter Pan.”

That is a lot of big name cast to put in a film where no one seemed to think they needed to hire a scriptwriter. Don’t get me wrong – younger kids are still likely to enjoy “Pan.” It has plenty of bells and whistles – big splashy effects, swashbuckling action, chases through color-drenched fantasy vistas. PAN has a breathless pace, evil villains, brave heroes and a quirky sidekick. For younger viewers to whom all this is new or who relish its familiar beats, PAN can be fun because it is simple, fast and flashy. But this highly-predictable creaky story will be a harder slog for their parents, and there is not much to draw in the little ones’ older siblings either.

The most puzzling part is that the film is directed by Joe Wright, who has brought to the screen such excellent films as “Atonement” and “Pride and Prejudice.” Wright certainly has the skill to make a high quality and entertaining kids’ movie – and probably would have done so if he had been working on an adaptation of “Peter and the Starcatcher.” Instead, the all-style, no-substance PAN is sunk by its lackluster, cookie-cutter script.

The film also uses a puzzling pop music soundtrack, with Jackman as the villainous Blackbeard strutting out for his debut in front of his new recruits, to the sounds of Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” Those rights must have cost some dough, and the song adds nothing to the film apart from a catchy tune for Jackman, dressed in red stockings and a black frock coat trimmed in feathers, like some preening rooster, to make a grand entrance.

This puzzling stinker of a film is a missed opportunity, and likely something director Wright, as well as the cast, will hurriedly bury on their resumes. Unfortunately, this misfire probably reduces the chances that the much better prequel, “Peter and the Starcatcher,” will make it to movie screens. Too bad.

PAN opens in theaters Friday, October 9th in 3D and 2D

OVERALL RATING: 2 OUT OF 5 STARS