RESULTS – The Review

For the last half a century or so, Americans have been on a seemingly never-ending quest for physical perfection. This has manifested itself in the proliferation of cosmetic surgeons, health food stores, diet books and programs, and the wide spread, often popping up overnight, health clubs (AKA spa, the gym, the fitness center, etc…). So, naturally these places would become a movie location, in comedies (in the 63′ classic original THE NUTTY PROFESSOR, Jerry Lewis causes havoc at a “Vic Tanny Gym”) to documentaries (the PUMPING IRON flicks). Then there’s those hybrid comedy/drama/romances like the John Travolta 1984 vehicle PERFECT and the Robert Altman ensemble called, simply, HEALTH. Now, in this new low-budget “indie” flick, three unlikely (and often unloveable) characters come together when one of them heads into a health club (sounds like an old joke set-up, “A guy walks into a spa…”), hoping, needing ,to achieve eventually, but not too slowly, RESULTS.

But, like the magazine ads, here’s the before picture. On an NYC street, schlubby Danny (Kevin Corrigan) pushes the call box to an apartment building, to no avail. He tries yelling up at the window, only to see it slam shut. Jump cut several months later and we’re at a small Austin, TX fitness club, “Power 4 Life”. Danny strolls in and asks about signing up. He’s escorted to the office of P4L’s owner/manager Trevor (Guy Pearce). After a sales spiel, Travor asks Danny about his goals (overall health, stamina…) and is stunned by the reply (“I wanna’ be able to take a punch, y’know?”). Oh, and Danny wants to work out in his home with one of the staff personal trainers. After he leaves, Trevor is about to give the gig to one of the hulking male instructors, when Kat (Cobie Smoulders), a feisty trainer who had a past fling with Trevor, overhears and insists on taking the job, despite the description of Danny ‘s “creepy vibe”. Kat is surprised when she meets him at his plush leased mansion complete with lots of recently purchased exercise equipment. Seems that after Danny was dumped and divorced by his wife, he inherited a fortune from his estranged mother. Things go well, so well that she accepts his offer to enjoy a little “herb” acquired from his local lawyer buddy Paul (Giovanni Ribisi), which leads to things getting a bit more physical than the usual “reps”. But on her next session visit, she’s horrified that he’s hired a blues combo and a local chief to cater an intimate meal. When she informs Trevor, he returns to lay down the law, but the two men strangely bond and soon become business partners in Trevor’s expansion plans. And just how does this complicate this already very complicated threesome?

This  intimate, slice of life study boasts an impressive cast, its main asset being the energetic performance of Smolders as the aggressive, confrontational Kat. She may be best known to film audiences from her role in the Marvel movie universe as Maria Hill, Nick Fury’s top-notch second in command at the agency formerly known as SHIELD, or as Vince Vaughn’s long-suffering girlfriend in DELIVERY MAN. But this character may be closer in spirit to her breakthrough role on the long-running TV sitcom “How I Met Your Mother”, with her snarky barbs and “no B.S.”, cut-to-the-chase attitude (speaking of chase, her terrific first scene has her running, during her daily jog, down a client scarfing  a cupcake). This film may be Smolder’s key card into some great films that require her to be more than the male lead’s “eye candy” (much as in DELIVERY) as she’s this story’s vibrant pulse. Giving a more relaxed performance is Pearce as the ambitious spa owner, who seems to be confused over his feelings about Kat and Danny. This loose style may stem from the fact that Pearce is free from doing a Brit or American accent (as in THE KING’S SPEECH or THE HURT LOCKER) since Trevor is a transplanted “Aussie”. And the role is a great change of pace from several villains of late (like LAWLESS). Of course his work isn’t quite as casual as that of Corrigan, the film’s hard-partying protagonist. His Danny is a laid-back dude who’s not been that changed by the flood of “F.U.” money into his life. As Trevor mentioned, he does have that “vibe”, but seems a good guy to “hang with”. Still the Kat’s initial encouragement of his flirtation is a tad tough to accept. As for the supporting players, Ribisi breezes through his “burned-out” legal stoner and rehashes the gravely-voiced lowlife he’s done too many times before (CONTRABAND, THE RUM DIARY). There’s a welcome appearance from Anthony Michael Hall as Trevor’s inspiration, but he’s got little to do besides glower into the camera and spout inspirational platitudes (“Pain is a reward”) while affecting a Slavic accent as he twirls a kettle-ball. Brooklyn Decker, as his subservient trophy wife, is given little do to, beside offer new courses, in a stilted dinner party sequence.

Writer/director Andrew Bujalski, whose last feature was the micro-budgeted COMPUTER CHESS, leads this seasoned cast with a more assured hand (CHESS was comprised almost entirely of movie newcomers), and, as stated earlier, elicits bravada work from Smolders. Unfortunately, the script often lets this talented ensemble down. Many scenes have no real conclusion or payoff, they mainly just stop or evaporate into the hazy Southwestern horizon. Plus most of the character motivations remain a mystery (Trevor is upwardly mobile, but Kat and Danny?). After an hour or so, the story grinds down to a lethargic stumble toward a conclusion that leaves too many threads dangling in the warm Texas breeze.. Ms. Smolders usually makes the film work when cutting through the “mumblecore” clutter (she’ll be igniting the screen in superior projects very soon), but audiences may feel in need of a real cinematic workout (to get their heart rates pumping once again) after these lackluster RESULTS.

3 Out of 5

RESULTS opens everywhere and screens exclusively in St. Louis at Landmark’s Tivoli Theatre