THE LONGEST RIDE – The Review

Okay multiplex maniacs, before we make a most welcome return visit to the Marvel Movie Universe, it’s time for that annual (sometimes semi-annual) slog into another movie universe, Sparks-land. I’m talking about another flick based on another product off the novel assembly line from Nicholas Sparks. Box office gold occurred with THE NOTEBOOK eleven (!) years ago and the studios have been returning with pick, shovel, and camera to that mine ever since. Just like cinema stars and franchises, he’s a brand name. It’s just a question of which familiar themes will be re-hashed and which photogenic actors will be put through some now familiar paces. But hey, we may get a surprise, although this one’s title seems more than a little daunting. Are you ready to embark on THE LONGEST RIDE?

This ride begins a year ago as professional bull rider Luke Collins (Scott Eastwood) attempts to spend eight seconds on the back of a most ill-tempered bull named “Rango”. As things take a turn for the worst, the story flashes forward to now as college gal Sophia (Britt Robertson) is practically scooped up by her sorority sisters to spend a sunny afternoon watching a bull riding competition. Of course one of the riders is Luke, and the two have a “meet cute” moment there and later at a “honky-tonk” saloon. Soon Sophia is dodging calls from him (she’s an art history major, he’s a bronk buster, so what’s the point?). Finally she relents and the two share a lovely picnic date. But on the road home, Luke spies a busted guard rail and pulls over. Down an embankment he sees a car on fire, crumpled against a tree. Luke pulls out the elderly driver, Ira (Alan Alda) who mumbles “Box” to Sophia. She spies an old wicker basket on the car floor and scoops it out just as the auto explodes in flame. As they sit in the hospital waiting room, she opens said box and reads an old letter. It tells of how young Ira (Jack Huston) met a beautiful European refugee named Ruth (Oona Chaplin) in 1940’s North Carolina. Later when they meet, Ira and Sophia immediately bond as she returns to visit him many times and reads the old letters aloud, letters that track his long love affair with Ruth. But what of Luke? Sophia’s got a gallery internship offer in NYC and he won’t leave the PBR circuit, despite health concerns from both her and his mother Kate (Lolita Davidovich)? Will these two kids have a romance as long-lasting as that of Ira and Ruth?

The cast member that seems to be the main focus of the flick’s publicity push is young Mr. Eastwood, part of several film dynasties oddly represented here. He’s an easy-going bit of “beefcake” eye candy for the ladies, a rugged, non-threatening paperback-cover version of a cowboy. His talents aren’t tested here besides some brief tension over his choice to continue on the bulls, so we’ll hopefully see how his dramatic chops shine in further films. He’s got a nice, easy rapport with Ms. Robertson, an actress mainly known for her extensive TV work, who will probably showcase her feature film skills in a few weeks with the highly anticipated TOMORROWLAND. Here she’s a convincing college student and is confident in her very adult sequences (she and Scott really steam up a shower). Plus she shines in those moments with screen and TV vet, the other Hawkeye, Mr. Alda. He does his best to slow down that rapid-fire, wise-cracking delivery that he’s honed over the decades, but he doesn’t seem near the ninety-plus years of his character. Still, the ole’ pro effortlessly projects a cozy warmth that elevates some of the hackneyed moments. Mr. Huston (of the John and Angelica dynasty) is believable as the younger version of Alda during the flashbacks, and he works very well with Ms. Chaplin (granddaughter of the first movie superstar), who radiates an intelligence which makes her infatuation with modern art almost infectious. Though they’ve little to do in their brief scenes, veteran leading ladies Davidovich and Gloria Rueben (as Sophia’s NYC mentor) are most welcome additions.

As for the film as a whole…well, the 1940’s fashions and cars look pretty sweet, bathed in an amber nostalgic glow. Director George Tillman, J. and screen adapter Craig Bolotin are giving this material their best efforts, but can’t make any headway against this stilted, stale story. Elements we’ve endured in other Sparks flicks rear their ugly heads once more here. I imagine Mr. S tossing magnetic-backed strips inscribed with phrases at a fridge and jotting down whatever sticks into the work. “Elderly man”… check! “Forties flashback”…check! “Old letter”..check! “Couple jumps into a body of water”…check! At least we’re spared the “child endangerment” scenes of SAFE HAVEN and THE LUCKY ONE. But we do get the most ridiculous auction scene in movie history, all to facilitate a feel-good finale. It’s nearly as ludicrous as the seal of approval from the American Humane Association during the final end credits. This was a love letter/infomercial for the PBR circuit! Really AHA? Fans of the author’s work will likely be satisfied with this adaptation with others dismissing it as a “chick flick”. Lovers of romance cinema really deserve better than this fluff. For any discerning film goer this tripe will indeed be THE LONGEST RIDE.

1.5 Out of 5