MY LIFE DIRECTED BY NICOLAS WINDING REFN – The Review

This review was originally published during Fantastic Fest 2014.

MY LIFE DIRECTED BY NICOLAS WINDING REFN gives us just a peek into the mind of one of cinema’s most celebrated directors. Directed and shot by his wife Liv Corfixen, MY LIFE… is a documentary that follows the Danish director during the making of his 2013 film ONLY GOD FORGIVES. While her film can be appreciated as simply a small portrait of the acclaimed director, it also taps into the fear and anxiety every artist feels during the creative process. A daring undertaking for someone who has never made a documentary before.

Even though we see Refn in the most mundane situations (waking-up, playing with his kids), he still comes across as cool and enigmatic, not unlike his on-screen heroes. Often we see him in a contemplative state. There’s always a long pause for reflection before he answers a question or responds in a cryptic manner. It’s the silence that keeps you interested in what the director will say next. In many ways he embodies the funny and poignant message he says to Ryan Gosling: “Violence is like sex – it’s all about the build up.” As the scene expands, Gosling frequently glances back at the camera in a self-aware manner, creating a moment that is simultaneously humorous, eye opening, and uncomfortable for the viewer. Again… not unlike the films we have seen from the Danish auteur.

Being the wife of the subject you’re filming has its advantages. As a result Corfixen is able to capture some of the more personal moments that might have only been relegated to home videos. We see Refn’s fatherly side come out early on when his daughter puts herself too close to harm’s way at the family’s hotel in Taiwan. Later on we get a lover’s spat over how to balance their individual careers and parental responsibilities. Moments such as these elevate the film to more than just your standard behind the scenes featurette you would find on the Blu-ray of ONLY GOD FORGIVES. What carries the most weight is the revelation right from the beginning that Refn made DRIVE without his wife and kids present in LA. Obviously they are present during every step of the way during ONLY GOD FORGIVES – which sometimes is alluded to as a burden. Considering the amount of personal problems Refn seems to be dealing with during his follow-up to DRIVE, you begin to wonder if Corfixen has touched upon a personal fear of her own and has thus created a film as a form of therapy.

The idea of legacy and upholding your reputation as a significant artist is a recurring theme in the film. Pressure to live up to expectations following the commercial and critical success of DRIVE weighs heavily on Refn. Seeing an artist at his most vulnerable can be an eye-opening experience. MY LIFE… shows Refn at his most optimistic, and at his deepest low where he openly admits in front of the camera that ONLY GOD FORGIVES is a failure. It almost becomes a guessing game as he switches back and forth between loving and hating the project. As someone who went to art school and continues to produce art in physical and written form, I can tell you that this really is a recurring and often scary feeling.

By the time the film wraps up by showing the premiere of ONLY GOD FORGIVES at the Cannes Film Festival, you feel that the documentary’s swift run-time (58 minutes) has only grazed the surface of some of the problems that Corfixen addresses. Not to mention, when taken out of context and being unaware of the negative press and eventual outcome of ONLY GOD FORGIVES, the doc feels like only a part of a bigger picture. In many ways, the audience – especially the film critics – also becomes a part of the story. We see Refn in the film’s closing minutes reading in bed the reviews following the previous night’s screening in Cannes. He reads aloud a particularly ridiculous and conceited review by a film critic, which ultimately brings a smile to his face. You would think that the hateful words would have a negative effect on the director. It’s a moment that captures all of the feelings of “creating something from nothing” in such an ironic and perfect way. MY LIFE DIRECTED BY NICOLAS WINDING REFN is a thoughtful look at the artistic process and its effects on your personal life. One of the messages to be taken from this is that sometimes a film doesn’t quite connect with its audience. Sometimes it doesn’t even connect with its creators. But then again, that’s life. You just have to grin and bear it.

Overall rating: 3.5 out of 5

MY LIFE DIRECTED BY NICOLAS WINDING REFN will play in select theaters and will be available On-Demand February 27th