OUIJA – The Review

Although Summer has long passed, it’s not too late for another youth-oriented movie adaptation. So, what is it, another flick based on a popular series of “young adult” novels, or perhaps a “tear-jerker” like THE FAULT IN OUR STARS or IF I STAY? Is it another comic book or classic TV show getting the big screen treatment? Nope, this is based on a game. But not a video or computer game like the Lara Croft franchise or the recent NEED FOR SPEED. It’s an “old school” board game, one that’s been around for ages. The box office sinking of BATTLESHIP has not deterred the folks at Hasbro Films (an off-shoot of the toy empire). After all, GI Joe and those Transformers are still raking in the bucks. Plus THE LEGO MOVIE’s success will spawn a trio of spin-offs. Oh, and there’s a chance of cross-over money from the ravenous fright flick fans, since this game supposedly contacts the netherworld. Switch off the lamps, light up the candles, and enter the world of OUIJA.

It begins with a flashback to a pre-teen girls’ slumber party as a pretty lil’ blonde gives her BFF, along with the theatre audience, the rules of the game. Flash ahead years later and the ladies are about to finish up high school when tragedy strikes. That BFF, Laine (Olivia Cooke) is shattered by her loss. She must know why this happened and so she gets out, of course, that dusty old ouija board. Since she can’t do this alone, Laine recruits her beau Trevor (Daren Kagasoff), her rebelleous kid sister Sarah (Ana Coto), the deceased’s beau Pete (Douglas Smith), and mutual pal, diner waitress Isabelle (Bianca Santos). Needless to say, they get much more than they bargained for when all matter of weird stuff starts happening. Laine realizes that they opened a portal that has allowed an evil force into our dimension, a force that targets the five friends. Is there any way they can stop this entity and send it back before its vengeance is unleashed upon them all?

First time feature director Stiles White (a veteran special effects artist), working from the screenplay he co-wrote with Juliet Snowden,  pummels the film with every PG-13 “spookshow” cliché we’ve seen again and again. Characters pop into frame with exploding music beats while others emerge from the shadows silently for no good reason other than to try to make the heroine and audience jump. The spirits are a variation of the pale, stringy-haired wild wraiths so common since THE RING from a dozen years ago. And they’re intent on offing the cast as if this were a kids’ cable channel FINAL DESTINATION. There’s none of the inventive, infectious energy that made THE CONJURING an unexpected multiplex thrill ride. Cooke leads the good-looking cast through the motions while glowering as if she was fretting over exams (much as her role in THE QUIET ONES or on TV’s “Bates Motel”). The whole cast is interchangeable, as if they were plucked from the latest CW prime time show or a soft drink commercial all running around a generic West coast town. At least Coto gets a mild punk/goth look (a ripped shirt!) along with a “grrril” snarl. We do get a couple of supporting turns from two screen vets. One’s from a current popular horror franchise, another’s a fave film teen witch. These ladies are the only adults to make an impression, the rest are invisible and ineffectual (Laine and Sarah’s single Pop skips out early on a business trip). During a brief scene in which Laine meets a school counselor we almost expect his dialogue to be replaced by the saxophone “waa-waa” of the adults in the Peanuts animated TV cartoons. The film will work for its intended audiences as young girls will bury their faces in their boyfriends’ shoulders (and to be fair, both will spring from their seats a few times), but for those of us who have been to more than a couple of movie haunted houses, it is a real slog. Do they have to play the game in the dead of night? Why not enjoy a potluck lunch before opening the window to begin the summoning? Sorry, logic’s got no place here. Instead of heading to theatres, OUIJA would be better off gathering dust with the other games

1.5 Out of 5