THAT’S MY BOY ( 2012 ) – The Review

It was bound to happen. I was fairly successful in avoiding the work of that Razzie-magnet Adam Sandler. Now, I had seen two of his early films, HAPPY GILMORE and THE WATERBOY. Both pretty silly and crude, so his movies weren’t high up on my must-see list. Did enjoy THE WEDDING SINGER and the little seen collaboration with Judd Apatow FUNNY PEOPLE. SINGER’s a pretty sweet love story and he had some nice acting moves in PEOPLE ( may have helped that he had strong co-stars in both- Drew Barrymore and Seth Rogan ). But these were not the pure, undiluted Sandler. They weren’t from his owm production company Happy Madison. And so, I ‘ve now seen the latest ” real deal ” Sandler movie comedy THAT’S MY BOY. This effort can’t be as worthy of the critical barbs as his previous films. Or could it…?

Here’s the set-up for the gags ( and you just may gag! ) : In 1984 Donny Burger’s a 13 year-old wise guy who has a sexual affair with his much older teacher Miss McGarricle. She’s busted and sent to prison while pregnant with their baby. Donny raises their boy while riding the ole’ fame roller coaster. Upon the love child’s 18th birthday he leaves Donny and establishes a new life as Todd, cutting all ties to his past. Fast forward to the present day. Donny ( Adam Sandler ) has burned through all his money from the sale of his life story and owes the IRS 43 grand! A sleazy TV host makes Donny a deal : let him film the reunion of son and father at Mom’s prison and the tax debt will be paid. Luckily Donny sees a newspaper engagement photo of Todd ( Andy Samberg ) and Jamie ( Leighton Meester ).  After Dad arrives at the palatial estate of Todd’s boss ( Tony Orlando ), the embarrassed son passes off Donny as his old ” pal “. Naturally the wedding party insists that his oldest buddy be the best man!. And so begins a testy family reunion as the slobs meet the snobs.

I cringed at the trailers, but they still didn’t prepare me for this cinematic cesspool. I’m not a prude, mind you. I had no problem putting the vastly superior BRIDESMAIDS on my top ten list last year ( I’ve enjoyed most of Apatow’s work ). But this hit new lows of offensiveness. I find absolutely nothing amusing in an adult woman sexing up a 13 year-old ( although the actors playing young Donny and his pals barely look over 9 ). She’s shown as a lovely free spirit ( deeply mentally disturbed? no way man! ) and he’s cheered by the entire student body.. and some of the adult staff and faculty ( the female students too? Really?! ). Ah, but that’s just the tip of the coarseness. We get extended jokes on self-pleasure, incest, Diabetes, and public drunkenness ( aww, Donny’s swilling a beer while driving! That rascal! ). Shots of  nearly naked morbidly obese are cut in for quick guffaws. And the aged, too!  There’s the octogenarian lady who says and does naughty things along with a funny Asian servant couple ( just cut in on them for reaction shots! Hilarity! ). Oh, and there’s a hefty older lady who works the pole at Donny’s favorite hang-out. Old and overweight, that’s a two-fer! Late in the film we get a delightful montage of father and son bonding on the eve of the wedding complete with larceny, assaults, and property damage. The scamps! And with no repercussions, of course! I’d heard that somehow Al Pacino had a big role in last year’s Sandler epic JACK & JILL ( it sweep the Razzies! ) and in this film, he gets two for-real movie icons to do cameos ( one’s an Oscar winner! ). Folks to do want to tarnish your legacies in a misguided attempt to look cool?  As for the main cast, Meester has the thankless role of the shrill harpy of a fiance’. And the scene of her inspecting her damaged wedding gown. Uggh! Revolting and stupid!  It’s not any better for Milo Ventimiglia as her way over-protective brother ( he wears a military uniform, so he’s a violent ticking time-bomb! How original! ). I enjoyed Samberg in HOT ROD and his many digital shorts for SNL, but he’s reduced to nerdy, uptight straight man here, wincing at his Dad’s antics. And of course there’s Mr. S himself as one of the most annoying moronic movie man-childs ever with a raspy, braying, wicked ” Baaastin ” accent who looks always in need of a bath and is never without a brew. Of course he never gets the shakes or even a hangover. The guys wanna’ hang with him and the gals find him irresistable. Uh, uh. Now I understand the critical venom he generates. What perhaps disturbed me most was the cheers and applause directed at this ” entertainment ” from many in the theatre. I just wanted to go home and shower. That is why this soul-crushing, mean-spirited, vileness truly deserves my very first…

Overall Rating : 0 Stars Out of 5