WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU’RE EXPECTING – The Review

Well, it looks like somebody’s borrowing from Gary Marshall (  lifting ideas in Hollywood? Shocking! ). A few years ago Mr. Marshall scored a big hit with an ensemble comedy centered around a major holiday in VALENTINE’S DAY. He repeated that basic idea a few months ago with NEW YEAR”S EVE. Well, there’s not too many romantic holidays left, so how can this formula be tweaked? Maybe a birthday? No, a ” birthing day’! It’ll be about several couples trying to have a baby! We’ll get multiple stars and try to mix them up in the months prior to the big day. This way we can re-use the Marshall plan ( history reference! ) and maybe do a CRASH ( the Best Picture Oscar winner ) riff for the final hospital scenes. And as Woody Allen did forty years ago with EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX…, we’ll use the title of a best-selling instructional book. And so these marketing elements are mixed together for the new feature comedy ( maybe dramedy ) WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU’RE EXPECTING.  But does this cinema concoction deliver ( get it? ) big laughs?

OK, let’s get out our programs and meet the  players and ( prospective ) parents. First up is photographer Holly ( Jennifer Lopez ) and her musician mate Alex ( Rodrigo Santoro ). She’s more excited about adopting an infant than him, so she sends Alex to meet with a friend’s hubby who’s part of the ” daddy dudes” ( kind of a “Mr. Mom mob” ) led by Vic ( Chris Rock ). Next up is Wendy ( Elizabeth Banks ) who owns a maternity shop that extolls the beauty of motherhood ( she’s even written a children’s’ book on the joys of breast-feeding ). After much effort she and husband Gary ( Ben Falcone ) conceive. When they break the news to Ben’s hypercompetitive auto racer dad Ramsey ( Dennis Quaid ), he announces that he’s having twins with his much younger trophy wife Skyler ( Brooklyn Decker ). Couple three is TV show fitness trainer Jules ( Cameron Diaz ) and her TV show dancing partner Evan ( Matthew Morrison ). Wow they’ve referenced two reality shows ( because, you know they’re hot and trendy! ). And for the young twenty-somethings we’ve got former flames and competing food truck owners ( because, you know they’re hot and trendy! ) Rosie ( Anna Kendrick ) and Marco ( Chase Crawford ). After some fast flirting they hook up after a gig and…the chiefs have a bun in the oven! We follow the ups and downs of these couples leading up to the mad dash to the hospital in the final frames.

Unfortunately this film may copy the Marhsall formula too well, since the momentum is stopped with each story as the film feels compelled to jump to another one. Still some moments work better than others. Banks is one of our most gifted comic actors ( on the big and small screen as shown on TV’s “30 Rock” ). Her future mom wendy  is a sweaty, bloated, raw nerve who can’t believe that her own pregnancy is the opposite of the lovely experience she’s been promoting at her shop. At said shop, the film makers cut to Rebel Wilson for a Melissa McCarthy-type sight gag or one-liner to get a cheap,quick laugh. Adding to Wendy’s frustration is the fact that young Skyler seems to completely comfortable. Most of the other couples spend too much of their screen time arguing. Jules and Evan fuss constantly about circumcision. Really?!  Dramatic tension is ramped up by Holly losing her big photo gig and keeping it a secret from Alex. A subplot about Gary and Ramsey in constant competition never really works, but Quaid has lots of rugged ” good ole’ boy ” charm ( Burt Reynolds might’ve place this a part a couple of decades ago ). It’s a shame that Ramsey’s stereotypical Southern belle missus is saddled with too many “y’alls” in every line of dialogue. Rock is wasted in the repetitive sequences with other dads in the park. I guess the tales of nearly maiming their infants is endearing, as are scenes of near disaster with a clumsy toddler. Rosie and Marco really get short-changed in their screen time. They’re absent from most of the last half. And of course on the big day we get lots of running down long hospital corridors and urgent instructions to breathe and push. This another one of those movies you can see with an older relative ( surprised it didn’t get released on Mother’s day weekend ). There’s nothing to upset anyone and there’s plenty of sweet infants to coo at. For those of us that enjoy unpredictable comedies with an edge and some wit, at a very full two hours this feels longer than nine months. Hollywood has delivered another safe, ” sit-com”y bundle of blah.

Overall Raing 1 Out of 5 Stars