IMMORTALS – The Review

I remember first being introduced to Greek mythology in grade school, later delving more into the subject in junior high. I remember being fascinated by the stories, drawn into the lore of the gods and heroes and the fantastic creatures. I still remember bits and pieces of what I discovered in those formative years of endless imagination. However, I will not remember IMMORTALS as being a film worthy of that same lasting admiration.

IMMORTALS tells a story, albeit questionably accurate to its source material, of a peasant named Theseus (Henry Cavill) secretly trained in the fighting arts by a mysterious old man, played by veteran actor John Hurt. When the ruthless King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) invades with his army of evil tyrants, Theseus finds himself thrown under the bus by Zeus (Luke Evans) to lead his people to victory against overwhelmingly impossible odds. With the help of a soldier named Stavros (Stephen Dorff) and the virgin oracle Phaedra (Freida Pinto), Theseus must find a way to defeat Hyperion before he uses a powerful magic weapon to unleash the terrible Titans upon humanity. This is the story, but it lacks any significant depth, character development or the wonderful detail of the mythology I recall from my youth.

Tarsem Singh, without a doubt, is one of the most exciting new filmmakers when it comes to wildly imaginative visual cinema. The problem is that it takes more than merely an eye for amazing imagery. Audiences were first introduced to Singh in 2000 with THE CELL, a film that had audiences visually awestruck but also feeling disappointed in the story and the acting. Six years later, Singh would give us THE FALL and earn back a lot of respect. Unfortunately, IMMORTALS is his third and arguably worst film.

IMMORTALS is a visually stunning film, but not an entirely successful effort. Singh spends far too much time wallowing in his CGI landscapes, implementing several slowly sweeping panoramic vistas from breathtaking heights and distances. This all occurs during a disappointingly dull first two acts, when Singh could have spent his time more efficiently weaving a more engaging and interesting story, before unleashing 95 percent of the action in the third act. The action itself is acceptable, but lacks a certain punch. The best action is in the tighter shots, whereas the broader shots of epic battle get lost in the excessive use of slowed down bullet-time cinematography that is beginning to lose its appeal through Singh’s and Zack Snyder’s unhealthy overuse. The two most impressive bits of action are at the end; when the Gods finally face off with the Titans with awesome, if not somewhat cheesy, comic book style; then when Theseus goes toe-to-toe with King Hyperion, with a higher level of realism and fluidity.

The performances in IMMORTALS are not bad, so much as subject to a mediocre script. Henry Cavill, whom we’ll soon recognize as the new Superman, appeared to be in a constant state of painful constipation that is meant to convey anger and rage. Mickey Rourke will be happy to have the paycheck, because King Hyperion marks what will hopefully be a short-lived hiccup in his recent triumphant comeback. Freida Pinto is absolutely gorgeous, but lacks the mysterious allure I would expect from an oracle, replaced with the draw of a centerfold model. Stephen Dorff is quite simply put, Stephen Dorff.

Finally, and I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for this, IMMORTALS is a 3D film. Despite my general dislike of its very existence, 3D is here to stay for now. The question is always, is it well done? With IMMORTALS, the answer is an echoing hell no! I recall suffering through the CLASH OF THE TITANS remake, which was post-converted to 3D and looked terrible. IMMORTALS is actually shot for 3D, but looks as if it were post-converted. The film appears ever-so-slightly darker than it should, washed out and lacking the amount of depth of field expected from a film intended to be 3D. Rarely does the 3D make its presence unavoidably known, which ideally is what we want, but it also often falls into oblivion and would be easily forgotten, if not for the annoying 3D glasses in constant need of adjustment.

Overall, IMMORTALS is two-thirds snorefest followed by one-third mediocre action flick, riddled throughout with CGI that screams “look at how cool I am!” This isn’t a complete waste of your time and money, but its awfully close, especially if you intend to delve into the mythological core of the material as I had hoped. If forced to choose, I would revisit the CLASH OF THE TITANS remake before a second run at IMMORTALS, and that’s a tough pill to swallow.

Overall Rating: 2 out of 5 stars