Top Ten Tuesday: Worst Buddy Cop Movies

After a short hiatus, Top Ten Tuesdays are back… “With a Vengeance!” Sorry, we just couldn’t help ourselves. This week’s Top Ten Tuesday is in honor of Kevin Smith’s newest movie, COP OUT, a buddy cop action-comedy. Regardless of whether you’re eagerly anticipating this film, directed but not written by Kevin Smith, or eagerly trying to avoid acknowledging its existence, we’ve thrown together our own list of the Top Ten WORST Buddy Cop Movies of all-time!

10. COLLISION COURSE

If I were to tell you that in the late ’80s, someone had the bright idea of teaming Jay Leno with Pat Morita for a buddy cop comedy, you’d probably think I was nuts.  But, then, you would check IMDB, look up COLLISION COURSE, and be subject to information on one of the worst ideas in motion picture history.  Not only is this film not exciting.  Not only does it offer some of the worst, most knock-off-ish brand of humor (mostly stemming from funny moments where Morita says the word “ass”).  The action (you know, the cornerstone of any, decent buddy cop movie) is completely flat and, ultimately, stupid.  The highest point comes in the end when a charging Morita literally drop kicks a car.  That moments kind of worthwhile.  The rest is just, plain dumb.

09. DOUBLE TEAM

The logical mind of a movie geek would likely conclude that an action movie from filmmaker Tsui Hark, combined with a cast including Jean-Claude Van Damme and Mickey Rourke, would be a fail-safe formula for box office bang. Unfortunately, that would have been a losing bet. This is a terribly written, over-the-top and unbelievable flop. While Rourke is fine in his limited screen time and Van Damme’s fight scenes don’t completely disappoint, Dennis Rodman’s complete lack of acting talent along with dialogue so bad it causes one’s teeth to grind in agony only exasperate the ridiculousness of the film.

08. RED HEAT

Just because buddy cop films were the most popular Hollywood genres of the 1980’s, everyone thought they could successfully jump on the bandwagon. Director and writer, Walter Hill thought he could return to the well once again after the huge success of his Eddie Murphy/Nick Nolte movie 48 HRS. Hill tried to replicate his buddy movie formula with RED HEAT a comedy action movie about mismatched cops, Arnold Schwarzenegger and James Belushi. Russian cop Ivan Danko chases down a drug dealer who’s escaped to U.S. and is paired up with his American counterpart, Detective Sergeant Art Ridzik. It was brilliant casting for an 80’s film, but the film is stuff filled with so-so chases, shootouts, and sparring of cultural differences between the mismatched cops. Funny the tie that binds them together is their penchant for violence. I have to give Schwarzenegger some props for attempting a Russian accent even though is still comes off as sounding more Austrian. What 1980’s film would be complete without a score from composer James Horner.

07. NATIONAL SECURITY

With the understanding that the studios feel buddy action movies are massive cash cows, the trend of playing Russian roulette with the stars of these films has gotten a bit out of control. This is one perfect example of how formulaic cinema constructs fail: Take a generic, highly unlikely stock plot, add two popular actors who’ve not worked together before, result will be success… NOT! The comedic styles of Martin Lawrence and Steve Zahn mix about as well as oil and water, leaving this action-comedy about two opposites working together to stop a smuggling ring labeled DOA.

06. STARSKY AND HUTCH

STARSKY AND HUTCH (2004) is a poorly done remake based on the 1970’s television show. Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson play cops Dave Starsky and Ken “Hutch” Hutchinson who are working undercover in California. Their street informant, Huggy Bear (Snoop Dogg) tells them about a huge drug deal about to go down and make drug lord Reese Feldman (Vince Vaughn) a lot of money. It is now up to them to stop him. While mildly entertaining, as a film this remake is horrible. I think that Stiller and Wilson can be very funny together (Zoolander), but they failed miserably with this one!

05. COP AND A HALF

Whether you enjoyed it or laughed at it (you meanie)… this was the predecessor to Schwarzenegger’s KINDERGARTEN COP. No, to the best of my knowledge they are not related, other than both feature a big name star not typically known for their warm, fuzzy sides starring in kid movies. The makers of COP AND A HALF may have had a wholesome family movie in mind, but what they ended up with is just bad. Funny, I always had Burt Reynold’s pegged for a family movie kinda guy… this movie proves that’s not his strong suit.

04. LETHAL WEAPON 3

The weak third installment of the LETHAL WEAPON franchise suffered from a lack of inspiration, probably due to the departure of writer Shane Black.  Joe Pesci’s wacky Leo Getz character from LETHAL WEAPON 2 returns for no other reason than to let him weakly ad-lib some tiresome jokes. The first two films have their share of humor but the here the comedy was so broad the film became a clumsy parody of itself. Though still rated R, LETHAL WEAPON 3 was less intense and, with it’s reduced body count and endless romantic scenes between Mel Gibson and Rene Russo, seemed more family-friendly. The magic seemed to be gone with this series but fortunately it rebounded six years later when LETHAL WEAPON 4 introduced Jet Li to American audiences as a new kind of lethal weapon.

03. BULLETPROOF

BULLETPROOF (1996) is one of those cop movies that tries to be a comedy but fails miserable. If they were trying to pick two amazing comedic actors for this one, they failed. Adam Sandler and Damon Wayans should never act in a police movie… ever! Wayans is trying to protect Sandler so that they can take down a drug lord (James Caan), but of course things don’t go as planned. Through this, and “White Chicks”, we have learned that no Wayans brother should play a cop!

02. HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE

HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE is so jaw-droppingly awful and clumsily constructed that I’m convinced it was originally conceived as a direct-to-video cheapie (perhaps pairing Steven Seagal with Dean Cain) that somehow managed to wrangle Harrison Ford for its lead. Ford and Josh Hartnett, as his young partner, generate zero chemistry and their bickering is lame and forced. Ford humiliated himself for a quick paycheck and his career has yet to recover.

01. RUSH HOUR 3

We have RUSH HOUR and RUSH HOUR 2 to thank for making fast food director Brett Ratner such a golden boy in Hollywood.  It would stand to reason going to the well one too many times would end up resulting in the worst film of his career.  RUSH HOUR 3 brings Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan back together again, and it’s the exact same thing we’ve seen time and time again.  There are literally moments where it feels scenes from the first, two films were copied and pasted and some digital effects magic put the Eiffel Tower in the background.  The fact that Roman Polanski agreed to show up in the film is probably the worst thing the famed director has ever done.  EVER.  That’s right.  I said “ever”!