Review: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MORGANS?

Unfortunately, I did hear about the Morgans, and I really wish that I wouldn’t have!

Meryl and Paul Morgan are separated. Meryl (Sarah Jessica Parker) an uptight real estate mogul who cannot seem to forgive Paul (Hugh Grant)  for cheating in her. After a dinner attempt to get Merly back, Paul decides to walk her to her next appointment. When they get their, they witness that he has just been murdered and catch a glimpse of the killer. The killer, a professional hired by the mob, catches glimpse of them too. After a failed attempt to kill Meryl, the couple must now enter the witness protection program. Until their separate permanent sites are arranged, the couple must move together to a small town in Wyoming, and leave the big city, their businesses, and even their cell phones behind. Oh no! A big city couple moving to a small town… That has NEVER been done before!

Terrible does not even begin to describe this movie. The story was really generic and bland. There was no real life to it. Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant’s characters made no sense as a couple. Apparently they confused a spark with utter  boredom! They weren’t even that out of place with how nice the townspeople were. There was one guy that was slightly unwelcoming. This hardly supports the storyline that they were complete outsiders trying to fit into a new lifestyle. Parker herself was the icing on this over-baked, tasteless cake. All she did was whine. For those of you that do not know, her voice is like nails on a chalkboard when she whines! I have even noticed that they tone her voice down and make her speak softly in those Garnier commercials. Hmmm, wonder why? She also looked like crap. For a big city gal, they didn’t really try to make her look the part. They gave her a horrible dye job, didn’t do her hair, and her make up job made her look sickly. So now, we get shrill AND attractively challenged! Swell…

Hugh Grant played the same part that he has always played, the sarcastic British man who needs to come to his senses. They really didn’t try to make any part of this movie original. Sam Elliot has been in a ton of western movies, such as Tombstone, so he fit the part of the  sheriff  without really playing a new character. Even Mary Steenburgen, who plays a gun slinging, tough country wife, plays a character pretty similar to Clara in Back To The Future Part III. The only thing more annoying that SJP in this movie is the townspeople.  This movie makes them out to be complete idiots. If I lived in a  small  town, I would be furious.

Please don’t waste your time, energy, or money on this film. You will just end up furious that you wasted your money on this film rather than spending it on a better investment, such as bubble wrap to pop, toilet paper rolls for a new sculpture, or dental floss for your hamster…