Review: 2012

I find it humorous, if not entirely premeditated, that what is perhaps the disaster movie of the grandest scale be released on this, Friday the 13th, 2009. For a movie that has so much riding on it’s success and so many people sitting on the fence, unsure of how it will do… for it to open on such a characteristically traditional day for neurotic fears of bad luck, well… it ballsy. Then again, I don’t believe in that kind of superstitious black cat and broken mirrors bad luck.

Apparently, neither do the filmmakers. It’s a good thing too, because if they had it may have manifested itself in the movie and turned out much worse that it did. I will admit, I was one of those fence-sitting skeptics, fearful that 2012 would end up being a disastrous disaster movie. I can say with a fair amount of satisfaction that this film holds up to the standards of the genre and is certainly not a disaster… I mean, in the non-geological sense.

2012 is the newest massive scale epic from director Roland Emmerich (INDEPENDENCE DAY, THE PATRIOT). Emmerich has a filmmaker’s hopeless infatuation with the special effects heavy, ginormous budget thrill rides that draw audiences for the pure thrill of the ride. This is the kind of movie he enjoys, so it’s the kind of movie he makes. And, for what it’s worth, Emmerich has mastered the art and craft (10,000 BC excluded) of creating expensive yet exhilarating adrenaline rides.

As is his style, Emmerich wastes no time immersing the audience immediately into the beef of 2012. That is to say, it takes no time flt for the audience to catch up to what’s going on and know that the sh*t’s about to hit the fan. The story centers on Curtis Jackson, or Jackson Curtis… I never really was able to figure out which was his first name. Anyway, the story centers on Jackson [as he is referred to most often in the film] played by everyone’s favorite every-man John Cusack (SAY ANYTHING, HIGH FIDELITY). I mean, really… no matter how bad the movie is, who doesn’t like John Cusack?

Jackson is a failed writer who works as a limo driver for a wealthy Russian tycoon named Yuri (Zlatko Buric) while struggling to revive his writing. Jackson is divorced, dislikes his ex-wife Katie’s (Amanda Peet) new partner Gordon (Tom McCarthy) and is devastated by his son Noah’s ecstatic approval of his “new dad”. Jackson collects Noah and his daughter Lilly for a vacation of camping with dad in Yellowstone National park, only to discover something strange is happening.

With half of the story now within your grasp, we move on to discuss why 2012 is worth seeing. This initial scene in Yellowstone leads us to Woody Harrelson’s role as the enviro-nutty, conspiracy theorist Charlie Frost, who briefly meets Jackson and his kids after they stumble upon a very hush-hush, yet minimally guarded government secret. The scene is relatively short, but tuck that away in your back pocket as it comes in handy later on in the story.

Woody Harrelson, despite his mere three scenes, is hilarious. He’s 100% certifiably fruitcake, but not necessarily wrong. He divulges his theories regarding the pending doom of the human race via planetary disaster to Jackson, who only later realizes just in the nick of time that Whack-Job Frost was onto something. On the drop of a dime, Jackson rounds up his family and the real adventure begins as the Earth’s crust literally begins to crumble.

So, we’ve got some fairly big stars, including Danny Glover as the President of the United States, Thandie Newton (ROCKNROLLA) as the First Daughter and Chewitel Ejiofor (REDBELT) as the heroic scientist that sits in relative comfort doing the brainy work while Cusack’s Jackson is put through Hell just trying to keep his family alive. Oh yeah, and Oliver Platt as the enjoyably well-played a**hole politician/scientist Carl Anheuser. However, the true star of 2012 is none other than the special effects.

2012 is rife with extraordinary depictions of destruction and chaos on the grandest scale. The movie features several lengthy scenes of geological carnage, high in detail and excitement. The film does one thing well, if nothing else, and that’s keeping the audience gripping the arms of their seats, nervously watching and wanting more. It’s a morbid sort of entertainment to watch this sort of thing, even if it is purely fictional. Planes, trains and automobiles (and more) all meet their demise along with their many human operators and unfortunate bystanders. Bridges, buildings, streets and landmarks… nothing is spared.

One thing I noticed very quickly as I was washed away into the cinematic calamity that is 2012, is that it’s a movie that really should be experienced in IMAX. I did not view this film in IMAX, but could clearly see the potential and wish I had. Even on the regular old digital cinema projection, the special effects popped and felt real and even slightly three-dimensional, but this was all effect built into the movie to enhance the thrill ride. Add the new D-BOX Motion Technology seats into the mix with the IMAX and 2012 would make one helluva frighteningly fun cinematic experience worth every penny, so long as character development and story is not your primary objective.

At a whopping 158 minutes in length, 2012 ran the very real risk of being too long, but instead holds up well. I can honestly say I never realized or noticed the length until after wards while sitting and watching the credits. The writing is par for the course in a film like this, fairly thin and uncomplicated. There are many “conveniences” taken in the science and plot holes do exist, but 2012 deserves it’s place amongst the other classic disaster films from the past.

2012 surpasses Emmerich’s previous disaster film THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW by way of both special effects and believability, but the ending is still the weakest link in this film. Whereas THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW was far too neat and tidy with it’s ending, trying far too hard to tie up all the loose ends, 2012 does a slightly better job of leaving the audience with at least a tiny bit of their imagination in tact, even if you leave the theater baffled by the though of Kevin Costner’s WATERWORLD stuck in your head.