TOP TEN TUESDAY: Best Horror Remakes

In case you haven’t noticed, Hollywood loves a good remake.  New ideas don’t have to be dealt with, audiences converge on the theaters simply due to name recognition, and studios can kick back and gather up the proceeds. Horror remakes, in particular, have been a staple of the film industry for years. Recently, this trend has gotten out of hand, and, many times, the resultant film is less than desirable. There are, however, a few remakes here and there that are acceptable. Some, in fact, are even better than the original. In honor of Rob Zombie’s ‘Halloween II’ hitting theaters this week, we thought it was time to look at some of these horror remakes that stand out from the crowd.

10. Frankenstein (James Whale, 1931)

When thinking about horror remakes, one rarely ever goes back to the vintage, Universal, horror movies of the ’30s.   However, believe it or not, movies like FRANKENSTEIN and DRACULA were brought to the world of cinema long before Boris Karloff or Bela Lugosi came into the picture.   Even though James Whales 1931 version of FRANKENSTEIN is considered the most memorable, it certainly wasn’t the first time film-going audiences feasted their eyes on Mary Shelley’s walking monster.   In fact, not only was Whale’s FRANKENSTEIN not the first film based on the novel, its screenplay was considerably different than Shelley’s original story.   The alterations pay off, as this version of FRANKENSTEIN is an absolute classic and features arguably the most famous movie monster ever put to film.   In fact, Whale’s FRANKENSTEIN would be the catalyst for so many sequels, spinoffs, and parodies featuring the monster it would seem apparent that this film was the starting point of the whole mythology.   Much of this is due in large part to the astounding performance by Karloff, who, despite his grand career in the film industry, would never quite shake the popularity he garnered in playing the monster.   Some would even say Whale’s follow-up, THE BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN, would be a superior film.   That makes FRANKENSTIN no less a masterpiece and a milestone in cinema history.

9. Cat People (Paul Schrader, 1982)

Jacque Tourneur’s 1942 version of CAT PEOPLE is considered a masterpiece of subtlety, famous for forcing viewers to imagine the horrors rather than subjecting them to literal effects. Paul Schrader’s 1982 remake was a different animal. All the overt eroticism, incest, and gore only hinted at forty years earlier was on graphic display in the remake. This may not have sat well with purist fans of the original but Schrader had a unique vision and his CAT PEOPLE is a classic in own right. Set in a voodoo-friendly New Orleans, the remake follows the original concept of a virgin’s sexual awakening coinciding with her instinctive need to turn into a killer black panther. Several scenes from the original are remade, notably one where a female character is being menaced in a darkened indoor pool but the remake is loaded with dreamy fantasy elements and special effects. Giorgio Moroder’s synth-laden score is a highlight as well as turns by Malcolm McDowell, Annette O’Toole, and John Heard but 1982’s CAT PEOPLE belongs to Nastassja Kinski in the lead and she is essential to the film’s cult status. Kinski ‘s an otherworldly presence, perfectly cast, often nude, and endlessly watchable. I wish her subsequent career had included more horror roles.

8. House on Haunted Hill (William Malone, 1999)

I had to hand it to Dark Castle Films.   Their debut film HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL’ definitely was a lot of fun.   Dark Castle Films was created to remake the majority of William Castle films.   However, that has since been abandoned, but one has to adore what they tried to do and you can see it apparent in their first film.

7. Nosferatu (Werner Herzog, 1979)

My man Werner. Is there nothing he can put his hands on that doesn’t turn to gold? Having never worked strictly within the horror genre before, Werner Herzog tackled one of the oldest stories around, the story of Nosferatu. Consequently, it’s a remake of the silent 1922 German classic by F.W. Murnau, but it’s equally good while being vastly different in some key ways. The original is a moody, visually artistic portrayal of the evil vampire and the fear it instills in humans. Herzog’s take on the story is a much more character-driven film, utilizing a visual approach similar to that of the Hammer Horror films. The atmosphere is at one time period and lush, but at times Herzog manages to escort us away from reality and into strange and alluring landscapes and images of darkness and beauty. Herzog’s NOSFERATU is as much a human drama as it is a tale of vampiric lore. Klaus Kinski is incredible as Count Nosferatu. (For those who don’t know, this is basically the same as Bram Stoker’s Dracula with a few story changes. Copyright restricted the original from being called Dracula, thus it became Nosferatu and it’s own beast altogether.) Kinski was a bit strange himself, so the glove fits well. Sure, it’s a bit wierd watching a vampire film in German for the first time. Kind of makes one subconsciously connect Nazis and vampires. Silly, I know. If you haven’t seen it yet, I command you to do so!

6. The Hills Have Eyes (Alexandre Aja, 2006)

I was never a fan of the original THE HILLS HAVE EYES.   It just wasn’t frightening to me and at the time I watched it in the late 80’s, I found it funny.   So, when Alexandre Aja – who directed one of the best “slasher” films after 2000, HAUTE (HIGH) TENSION – was signed on to direct a remake with Wes Craven’s blessing, I got excited. This film was one of the first horror films I took my current girlfriend to and she and I came out loving it.   It was one of the few films that I saw in the theater during it’s first run where people walked out due to an intense scene.   The scene I’m talking about is the Trailer Attack scene.   Rules and boundaries were taken down in this scene.   This is the point where Aja tells the audience that none of these characters are safe and he will be merciless to make you uncomfortable.   To me, this film excels miles further than the original film and I believe it – remake or not – to be one of the top 25 horror films of the past decade.   Be warned, you are not safe.

5. Dawn of the Dead (Zack Snyder, 2004)

2004 was a banner year for zombie movies.   Even if you don’t count 28 DAYS LATER…, which most people, particularly hardcore zombie lovers, don’t, you still had SHAUN OF THE DEAD and Zack Snyder’s remake of DAWN OF THE DEAD.   When word came out that a remake of George Romero’s classic was being made, many fans booed profusely.   Romero’s DAWN OF THE DEAD is highly regarded in the horror world, and some even claim it is the best zombie movie ever made surpassing Romero’s NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD.   The cries of woe were stilled, though, when Snyder’s DAWN OF THE DEAD was released.   It featured faster zombies than Romero’s version, and, while it outrage many fans of the original, it also created a much higher level of intensity than the original.   Snyder’s style and the film’s general demeanor that it wasn’t taking itself too seriously helped the film tremendously.   While few would make the claim that 2004’s DAWN OF THE DEAD is a better version than the 1978 version, there are still few who would say it is an absolute waste.   Snyder’s career launched from this film, and the DAWN OF THE DEAD remake is still considered a fun horror film for all.

4. The Ring (Gore Verbinski, 2002)

That’s right. An American remake of a Japanese horror film made the list. Here’s why… it’s one of a very few examples of Hollywood having done it right. Most of the time, and consequently most came after this film, Hollywood remakes of Asian horror films are totally lame. This is for one primary reason… they have the terrible misconception that these movies are all about being scared by what you see. Wrong! What makes most Asian horror films so cool and freaking scary is that they’ve mastered the art of being scary without showing everything. It’s the fear of the unknown, get it? Apparently, they haven’t. Of course, many of the Japanese horror films are also often quite graphic, which Hollywood still seems to be a bit afraid of touching. Gore Verbinki’s 2002 film is a remake, yes, but a remake of what? That’s the really interesting thing here. The “original” film was Japanese and called RINGU (1998) but the Koreans made their own version in 1999 called THE RING VIRUS. Regardless, Verbinski’s version actually holds up on it’s own, creating a freaky tale of terror passed from one unlucky victim to the next in the form of a mysterious video. Verbinski managed to successfully recapture some of the unique and bizarre visual imagery that helped the original(s) succeed, although I am almost tempted to say the American version is better… Ah, bite my tongue! Unfortunately, it did well enough to spawn sequels… and, we won’t talk about that.

3. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Marcus Nispel, 2003)

A lot of fans hated the 2003 remake of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (Maybe because it was originally marketed as MICHAEL BAY’S THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE). Roger Ebert wrote of the remake: “The new version of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE is a contemptible film: vile, ugly and brutal. There is not a shred of a reason to see it”. I think that the original is the scariest film ever made but it’s also a masterpiece of restraint that Hooper made and much of its magic lies in the fact that the audience thinks they saw a no-holds-barred gorefest when they didn’t. For the remake ,Producer Bay and director Marcus Nispel through all subtlety out the window and made the film audiences thought they saw 30 years earlier. Instead of a hitchhiker cutting his hand with a knife, a hitchhiker shoots a gun into her mouth, the cameral trails the bullet’s path from the chamber, into her mouth, through the hole in her brain and out through the blood-splattered back

window. And that’s just in the first ten minutes. For sheer brutish effectiveness, 2003’s THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE does the job. It stands on it’s own merits and there’s enough scares to keep casual horror viewers and die-hards involved. And of course there’s that demented performance by R. Lee Ermey which, in a perfect world, would have won the man an Oscar.

2. The Fly (David Cronenberg, 1986)

The original 1958 version wasn’t the greatest movie ever made, but it was fun and it starred Vincent Price, which means it instantly gets a plus-2 on a 10-scale right off the bat. David Cronenberg’s 1986 remake, on the other hand, is a phenomenal piece of psychological sci-fi/horror. Adding to that is it’s status as one of the few remakes that stands head and shoulders over the original. Jeff Goldblum plays Seth Brundle, brilliant scientist ahead of his time and unfortunate creator of the Brundle-Fly. Goldblum was perfect for the role, intelligent but quirky with fly-like mannerisms and that wonderful Shatner-esque style of linguistics that makes the character seem both cocky and creepy at the same time. Cronenberg made an incredible piece of horror cinema, a film that terrorizes the mind as much, if not more than the eyes. The film isn’t all about violence and gore, but deals mainly with the transformation of Seth Brundle from his former self to the his new unnatural creation, not evil, but cruel by nature. Despite this focus on the story, the film still contains plenty of scenes to make one squeamish. I’ll never forget the scene at the end where Brundle, regurgitates on Borans’ hand and leg to stop him from attacking, but also to make a point that he is now a being superior to the common man. Oatmeal, anyone?

1. The Thing (John Carpenter, 1982)

Arguably the greatest of horror remakes, the one film that absolutely stands out as a greater achievement in movie-making than its original inception, is John Carpenter’s vision for THE THING.   Written in 1981 by Bill Lancaster, Burt’s son, the film was based on 1951’s THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD, directed by Howard Hawks and Christian Nyby.   Taking the basic concept as the original of a small group stranded in a snow-filled area being tormented by an alien species, Lancaster’s screenplay and Carpenter’s direction turn the intensity and the fright-factor all the up past the boiling point.   Being Carpenter’s first studio film, THE THING was the perfect combination of decent budget and the incredible eye for atmosphere Carpenter instills in all of his films.   It really is the perfect “stranded group getting picked off one-by-one” film, made all the more frightening by incredible creature effects by Rob Bottin and the unforgettable score by Ennio Morricone.   That score, while being a rare occurrence where Carpenter did not score his own film, is very Carpenter-esque, nonetheless, and helps project the nihilistic and overpowering sense of fear that the entire film seems to produce.   The perfect combination of scares, tension and gore, John Carpenter’s THE THING is not only the greatest horror remake ever put to film, it is among the best horror films ever.