Review: ‘The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard’

‘The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard’ on the surface is a really funny movie, but only in spurts. It walks a thin line between raunchy humor and pure comedy, the only problem is that the film cant make up its mind which one it should be. The cast is incredible and cant be blamed on them, so I am going to throw it all at Andy Stock and Rick Stempson who wrote the film. Guys, don’t be afraid to step over that line into extreme dirtiness that we expect from Kathryn Hahn and David Koechner! I will also cite the lack of experience in anything besides sketch comedy of Neal Brennan whose previous director spot was on ‘Chappelle’s Show’.

Ben Selleck (James Brolin) runs a family owned used car dealership, but when things slow to a screech he is forced to call in a “mercenary”. Jeremy Piven plays Don “the goods” Ready who is what they call a used car “mercenary”. He, along with his crew of merry men (and one sexy Kathryn Hahn), go into used car dealerships and gives them new life by helping sell enough cars to get them out of the red.

After having come off a really tough job in Albuquerque or as its referred to in the movie as “querque”, they immediately take it and jump into Temecula California for a huge 4th of July sale. They have dinner with the Selleck family which includes their 10 year old man son played by Rob Riggle, and daughter Ivy who is engaged. After dinner they hit the local strip club to find talent, they snag a few strippers and DJ Request played by Craig Robinson. The next day they open up for business and the place is now super packed offering up the only reasoning as free hot dogs and a blow up gorilla.

After an amazing first day they are harassed by Sellecks future son in law Paxton(plays by Ed Helms), and his father played by Alan Thicke. They own an import only dealership and offer to buy the lot so that Paxton and his boy-band “Big Ups” have a place to rehearse. Don tells him not to sell and makes a bet with Paxton that they can move every car off the lot by the end of the weekend and if they dont he must leave town forever.

The 2nd day as you can guess falls pretty much flat and Don Ready goes through a crossroads when he hooks up with Ivy but she then reveals that she couldn’t be with him because he never sets his roots anywhere. He goes on a mental journey through the small town and is eventually visited by the ghost of his best friend, played by Will Ferrell. At this point it just gets to a ridiculous low that you almost feel embarrassed.

By far the most disappointing part of this movie is how Ken Jeong was used. It is no easy feat to make him not piss your pants funny, but they somehow managed to do that. Unfortunately it isn’t just Ken Jeong who is misused, Jeremy Piven doesn’t get to shine either in this lackluster script and plot hole filled story.

They greatest parts of the film are when Babs (Kathryn Hahn) makes passes at Peter (The 10 year old man son played by Rob Riggle). She is attracted to him because he has the mind of a 10 year old but the muscular body of a 30 year old man. These scenes are both funny and uncomfortable at the same time but make for comedy gold with her witty, sexy dialog.

I was absolutely shocked to find out Will Ferrell put his name on the film as a producer, it doesnt feel like anything that he would put out into the world. Its a jumbled mess that begs to be killed off and is currently sitting at 14% on Rotten Tomatoes.