Review: ‘A Perfect Getaway’

When a film has a title like A PERFECT GETAWAY, one should be able to have that very expectation going in. Unfortunately, the only perfect element of this cinematic getaway is the scenery, as the movie was shot almost entirely in Hawaii. The landscapes in the film are often simply breathtaking. Unfortunately, the only other breathtaking that occurs in this movie are the sighs of disbelief over the terrible writing. Well, that and some laughter.

A PERFECT GETAWAY was written and directed by David Twohy. What’s amazing is how Twohy, who wrote THE FUGITIVE (1993) and wrote/directed PITCH BLACK (2000), could have fallen to writing such a generally unimpressive movie as A PERFECT GETAWAY. As far as the action/suspense serial killer genre goes, movie fails. The plot devices used to generate the mystery, intended to keep the viewer guessing are misleading, culminating in a twist at the end that feels like some guy took a cheap shot in a fair fight.

The story is primarily focused on three couples, all of whom are “vacationing” on a remote part of one of the Hawaiian island. Cliff and Sydney (Steve Zahn and Milla Jovovich) are a newlywed couple on their honeymoon. They’re typical city folk. He’s an aspiring screenwriter and she’s happy being a newlywed housewife dreaming of a big family. Shortly after they arrive in Hawaii, they encounter Kale and Cleo (Chris Hemsworth and Marley Shelton), a rough and wild looking married couple with dreadlocks and tattoos. Cliff and Sydney find themselves intimidated by Kale and Cleo from the very start as they try and hitch a ride. Once Cliff and Sydney are fully committed to the beautiful but dangerous trail leading them to a remote beach they encounter Nick and Gina (Timothy Olyphant and Kiele Sanchez), an adventurous and uninhibited, unmarried couple out to simply enjoy themselves in paradise.

To be perfectly honest, the mystery didn’t hold up. The “twist” was revealed to easily in an earlier scene than Twohy likely intended. I won’t be that guy that spoils the ending, but I will say that the film has more than one red snapper, uh… I mean, red herring. [That’s an inside joke. You’ll get it if and when you see the film.] One thing A PERFECT GETAWAY certainly is not short of is plot holes and an excessive use of these red herring moments. After exiting the theater, if you’re not trying to keep track of all the plot holes and story elements that don’t really work, then you were probably making out with your partner or fell asleep.

Twohy abuses the writing tool known as the red herring, intended to throw the viewer/reader off the correct trail and onto a fake trail, abuses it to the point of being shameful. As Hitchcock did so masterfully in his films, the red herring is a plot device that, if done correctly, is needed only one in a story and maintains its strength through, or at least until it’s no longer needed. In Twohy’s script, the suspicions hop around like little red herring bunny rabbits, bouncing from one to another, then another and then back to the original and so on. Once the real killer(s) is revealed, it no longer holds any dramatic weight.

I have a general dislike of movies that try to be a serious addition to a specific genre of film, but at the same time plug in repeated tongue-in-cheek moments where it clearly and obviously makes fun of itself. Is this a serious killer suspense film, or is it a parody of one? A PERFECT GETAWAY attempts to be both, but fails. This isn’t to say there aren’t some funny moments. Myself and much of the audience were laughing frequently, but the laughter was a mixture of humorous moments, usually provided by Timothy Olyphant, and moments that were just simply too stupid not to laugh at.

Timothy Olyphant (HITMAN, DEADWOOD) is actually a lot of fun in A PERFECT GETAWAY. He’s funny and crazy (in a good way) and gets most of the laughs. He’s also the only really interesting character written into the story. Nick, aka “Micko”, is a hard man to kill, as Gina repeatedly points out to Cliff and Sydney. Steve Zahn actually isn’t bad, giving a decent performance, but the part isn’t that well-written and that means even a great actor will have trouble conveying a truly believable character. Kiele and Milla are average in their performances and certainly not hard to look at at least.

A PERFECT GETAWAY is filled with typical jump-in-your-seat scares and fairly stock styles of suspenseful techniques. Nothing truly stands out in this movie. Most of the running time is filled with cliched moments or ridiculously written scenes intended to explain some part of the plot. One of the worst parts of the movie is right after the intended reveal point in the story as to who the killer(s) really is, when Twohy chooses to lapse into a Cliff’s Notes style retelling of all the major plot points, as if we needed a reminder. This entire recapping is shot in black and white, edited together in block frame style, sort of like a motion comic book… except far less interesting.

Let’s get down to brass tacks here. A PERFECT GETAWAY isn’t the worst movie you’ll see all year, but it certainly isn’t worth your hard-earned $9-12 ticket price, in my opinion. It’s possibly worth a $3-5 rental, if you’re a fan of Timothy Olyphant, or just desperate for a mindless action/suspense film and nothing better is available at your local video store. The movie is visually energetic, but the overall outcome is less than electrifying.