Blu-Ray Review: ‘Dr. Dolittle: Million Dollar Mutts’

You have to laugh at the point when even Eddie Murphy won’t sign on to do a sequel to one of his movies.  For three films now, the ‘Dr. Dolittle’ franchise has both been straight-to-DVD, and it has moved Kyla Pratt front and center as Maya Dolittle, the daughter who can also communicate with animals.  Having missed ‘Dr. Dolittle 3’ and ‘Dr. Dolittle: Tail to the Chief,’ I can’t, with 100% certainty, say that ‘Dr. Dolittle: Million Dollar Mutts’ falls into the same, generalized trappings those other films fell into.  I’m pretty much leaning that way, though.

If ‘Dr. Dolittle: Million Dollar Mutts’ does anything, it serves as evidence that simply throwing talking animals up on the screen just isn’t funny any more.  It might never have been to anyone with an age higher than their shoe size.  But, even going where countless other films have gone before, ‘Million Dollar Mutts’ is just bland.  It never tries to do anything to liven its central idea up, and it isn’t very far into the film’s running time when boredom kicks in.

In ‘Million Dollar Mutts,’ Maya Dolittle is planning on her venture to veterinarian school to follow in her father’s footsteps.  Papa Dolittle is conveniently out of the country.  After helping pop idol Tiffany Monaco (Tegan Moss) with her dog’s issues, Maya finds her talents can be used to make her a star.  Shady agents and moral dilemmas ensue.

‘Million Dollar Mutts’ is lackluster writing and even more so in the execution.  The people behind the film either seem to think kids still love seeing crazy, talking animals doing crazy things or they just wanted to get this film made and out to the masses as quickly as possible.  Much of the film’s humor stems from the animals reenacting human characteristics.  A dog wearing sunglasses.  A monkey chugging grape soda then burping itself across the room.  A pig with a weight issue.  This is the level of humor you will find in this movie.  I’m not so sure you can expect much more from the fourth sequel of a remake of an honest to God Best Picture Oscar nominee.

The movie also seems to think these bland jokes will be livelier once we hear familiar voices behind some of these animals.  Unfortunately, comedians like Pauly Shore, Stephen Root, and Greg Proops just don’t have the same weight they might have had once upon a time.  It is amazing, however, to hear Norm MacDonald’s voice still coming out of Luckey, the dog, after all these films.  It is no surprise, going back the other way, to see, or, rather, not see his name mentioned anywhere in the opening or closing credits.

Kyla Pratt and Tegan Moss are doing their do diligence, but they can only do so much with the characters and dialogue they are provided.  Maya’s moralities aren’t much in danger when you’re dealing with a straight-to-DVD, family movie, and, as such, Pratt doesn’t seem to be putting much of an effort behind her character’s choices.

And, while we’re on the subject of those moral dilemmas, much of the bad that occurs to Maya Dolittle in this film seems like it could have been avoided were her mother doing her paternal duties.

“As long as you’re back by Saturday, things should be fine,” Maya’s mother tells her over a cell phone at one point.  Wow, think that’s going to happen?

The fact that Mama Dolittle isn’t on the next plane to Hollywood the minute, nay, the second her daughter becomes incommunicado is either a huge break from reality or an example that the Dolittle household is more dysfunctional that the average.  Seriously, all the woman seems to do through the majority of the film is pace around the house packing Maya’s suitcases for college and, occasionally, calling her daughter to tell her she needs to come home.

Just when you think the acting couldn’t get any blander, Mr. Jason Bryden appears to spice things up (?).  As the slithery agent who wants to make Maya a star, he give what ends up being one of the worst attempts at acting seen this side of Torgo.  If your ears or your eyes just happen to have too much blood in them, fear not, because Bryden’s line reading and facial contortions will be sure to relieve you of some red cells.

Don’t even bother reading much into seeing Judge Reinhold’s name on the DVD box.  He’s in the film for all of three minutes, has some of the lamest lines, and, I’m sure, got paid more than anyone else on set.  Not bad for someone who fell into obscurity nearly 20 years ago.

In fact, much of the film seems to be living a couple of decades behind itself. This is evident in some of the later moments in the film, when we appear to be warped back to the early ’80s.  They do the slow clap.  10 years after it was being made fun of, they still do it to its full, dramatic effect.  And, while we’re on the subject of things 10 years past their prime, is it still funny to see a pigeon shit on some one’s shoulder?  No?  Didn’t think so.

But, are there any decent elements to ‘Million Dollar Mutts’?  Maybe one or two.  Norm MacDonald’s voice is always a sound for sore ears, and any moments with Luckey get bumped up half a star rating because of it.  Doron Bell plays a gangsta rapper with a rabbit named Mr. Fluffernufferman (voiced by Fred Stoller) who prefers Mozart to Tupac.

These few moments and elements aside, ‘Dr. Dolittle: Million Dollar Mutts’ is a bland, trivial example of family entertainment.  It is harmless enough, but any entertainment value or thought provocation to be siphoned from the ‘Dr. Dolittle’ franchise left long after the original (’67, not ’98) left theaters.

Overall: 2 out of 5