Review: ‘Mutant Chronicles’

‘Mutant Chronicles’ tries to be everything to everyone. Â  Okay, maybe not everything, and maybe not for everyone. Â  There’s no chintzy love story, no comedic pratfalls, no loveable, alien who just wants to jump around. Â  Aside from those few elements, this film throws in the kitchen sink. Â  And, like what happens with most films of this nature, it ends up half-assing most of what it tries to do for much of the film’s running time.

It’s loosely based on the pen-and-paper role playing game of the same name. Â  Set in the 23rd Century, which doesn’t seem that far off when you consider how advanced the world appears to be, the planet has been divided between warring corporations. Â  During a massive battle in Northern England, the opposing armies accidentally open the gates that have been keeping man-destroying mutants underground for centuries. Â  Buried with the mutants is The Machine, a mysterious contraption that turns humans into mutants.

Within weeks, the world has been mostly wiped out or turned into mutants, and a small band of grunts unite for one last attempt at destroying the machine.

Written by Philip Eisner (‘Event Horizon’), ‘Mutant Chronicles’ is a film with a rather interesting backstory at the core of its action. Â  The idea of an ancient machine buried underground that can turn men evil and the mysterious order that keeps the machine hidden is really interesting. Â  It is much more interesting if you plan on doing something worthwhile with it. Â  Unfortunately, Eisner quickly turns the film into an underground trek of a small and diverse band of soldiers who sequentially get picked off one by one. Â  It’s the kind of structure that has been seen and done a million times before, and, in that, ‘Mutant Chronicles’ offers absolutely nothing new.

There are easy fixes to ‘Mutant Chronicles’ screenplay. Â  A few switch-ups in terms of who dies when could have made a big difference. Â  An early scene involving the mutants almost gives you the impression of an edited subplot revolving around was some kind of binding consciousness between them. Â  That goes nowhere fast.

Eisner’s screenplay is filled with hokey dialogue and certain aspects that are so cliched, they’ve hit the cliche wall, bounced back into the fresh pile, and ran head-first into the formulaic barrier once again. Â  Do we really see a soldier tell another soldier to watch for his wife and daughter? Â  You bet your life, we do. Â  Think that soldier’s gonna make it another ten minutes? Â  Not a chance?

You can tell what Eisner was going for. Â  He understandably wanted to generate a level of humor with some of the cliches his screenplay throws at us. Â  Much of what he writes can easily be interpreted as having a mocking nature towards the WWII-era, studio films. Â  Something was lost in translation, though, because the execution serves to hurt more than help Eisner’s cause. Â  This is not ‘Starship Troopers’ with its tongue planted firmly in its cheek. Â  This is serious, and everyone knows it.

And it’s amazing that the actors in the film seem to have no problem with spitting out these lines so seriously. Â  Of course, that is the great thing about Ron Perlman, who plays Brother Samuel, the “man of faith” behind the group’s mission. Â  Perlman has a way of taking any part and making you believe he thinks it’s Shakespeare. Â  When Brother Samuel spouts the line “God help us all,” you almost believe Perlman is the first man in film history to have uttered the line.

Thomas Jane and the rest of the cast, however, don’t offer nearly as much sincerity as Perlman. Â  Jane tries his best, but his character is such the macho-laden hero that he isn’t given much opportunity to have any fun with it. Â  Notable actors like Devon Aoki, Sean Pertwee, and Benno Furmann aren’t given much to do. Â  John Malkovich shows up in a glorified cameo.

Unfortunately, the movie’s setbacks don’t just settle at the screenplay and acting. Â  This is a film with George Lucas ideas but Uwe Boll production values. Â  The special effects in ‘Martian Chronicles’ are some of the worst seen in recent memory. Â  Granted, the film was made on an independent-level budget, and director Simon Hunter does everything he can with what he’s got. Â  However, less could have equaled more in the best of ways for this film. Â  If you can’t do a massive battle sequence right, why do it and draw attention away from what little story you have in the first place?

Of course, there are times where Hunter is able to hide his lack of budget behind incredible production design and decent lighting. Â  Mention has to be made to Caroline Greville-Morris, the production designer on this film, who does an outstanding job and whose work is all but squandered in the visual executions. Â  Sometimes Hunter pulls off Greville-Morris’ steam punk look splendidly. Â  An air battle sequence and a short scene in an abandoned church are stunning and call to mind better uses of this type of green screen environment creation. Â  However, there are more than a few scenes that are near incoherent from the editing, shot composition, and Hunter’s attempt at making his film look bigger than it actually is.

Certain backgrounds are so thinly developed that you cannot possibly get any kind of sense of depth or place for the characters. Â  Hunter’s attempt at hiding his budget doesn’t help, either, when you’re trying to establish the environment. Â  It’s impossible to tell where everyone is in accordance to one another when all you have to work with are closeups on the actor’s faces.

In the end, ‘Mutant Chronicles’ is an unsuccessful mess of something much larger, a child wearing big-boy pants who just can’t keep up with his older brothers in the sci-fi realm. When you step back and look at the film, it appears like everyone is doing the best job they can with what they have. Â  Unfortunately, ‘Mutant Chronicles’ is anything but the sum of its parts, and the whole ends up a jumbled mess that just barely survives on its aspirations.

Overall Rating: 2.5 out of 5