Review: ‘The Haunting in Connecticut’

Please, please, please… don’t ever make me watch this movie again! This movie sucked worse than the woman who sat behind me that decided to sneak in her own popcorn in a plastic bag and rattle it around the whole time! Let me put it this way… the eight year old (because it’s a great idea to take a child to a horror film) that was in the theater wasn’t even scared!

Matt Campbell (Kyle Gallner) is dying from cancer. His mother Sara (Virginia Madsen) and him have to drive to Connecticut for his treatment in a research study. Because the drive is so far Sara decides to rent a house in Connecticut so she doesn’t have to put Matt through the drive. They find out shortly after that the house was once a funeral home that dabbled in the occult. Matt, being so close to death, starts to see things that his family cannot. Soon the family is in danger as the house comes alive with the spirits that were tortured there.

I know that this is based on a true story, but come on! First off, the movie was slow and boring. The first half of it they go for the cheap, easy scare. You know what I am talking about. Creepy music starts, someone goes to open the door slowly, the door finally opens, then… nothing… but then, just as you are relieved, a dog barks, or something drops or jumps out at you just so that you jump… oooooohhhhhh… scarrrryyyyy!

You think that the story of what happened there to make it haunted would at least be interesting… wrong! Some kidwho is a median was the assistant of the funeral director who messed with the occult. The funeral director stole the bodies of his dead patrons and performed some sort of black magic on them so that they could never fully rest. The bodies were never found. Sounds like this could be done in a cool fashion, right? Trust me, it wasn’t

Things weren’t even remotely believable! Martin Donovan plays Peter Campbell, the father, and his role is just as cheesy as his role in Saved! as the lame pastor. How about that the Reverend (Elias Koteas) who happened to meet Matt during a treatment session didn’t mention anything other than that he was a good   listener happened to have a knowledge of the occult… How convenient! Oh, how about thata ton of bodies were stored within the walls of the house, and no one noticed!!! Wouldn’t more than one body put off a stench?They weren’t even decomposed and they were at least 50 years old (and that’s being nice… even Chester Copperpot was a skeleton!)   How could no one ever notice the fowl smell of many, many bodies? Even Gacy’s place smelled! Just saying!

Hey, 1987… how come no one had any form of 80’s clothes on???

This movie is by far the worst movie that I have seen in a while… So please do not waste your money!

‘The Haunting in Connecticut’ [PG-13] opens today in theaters everywhere.

[Overall: 2 out of 5 stars… and that is being way too nice]