Best of the Bad… ‘Cherry 2000’

‘Cherry 2000’ (1987) was an ambitious and stylistic attempt to capitalize on the ‘Mad Max’ market. The seemingly now-retired Melanie Griffith was at that time pretty hot. She plays Edith “E” Johnson, a female tracker in a rough and rugged man’s profession of for-hire guides that “find stuff” in the lawless desert region called “The Zone”.

“E” is hired by corporate business man Sam Treadwell, played by David Andrews, to locate and secure a replacement chassis for his Cherry 2000 (played by Pamela Gidley). A Cherry 2000 is an extremely life-like robot designed for intimate companionship. Sam saved the chip from his Cherry after it was rendered defunct from improper foreplay on a wet kitchen floor. Zap! Crack! Boom! Water and electricity don’t mix, duh? Sam soon realizes just how rare and valuable his Cherry 2000 was once he goes to see if she can be fixed. The current models are sub par and low-quality, but it’s more than that to Sam. He actually thinks he loves Cherry, even though she’s a robot.

After a short-lived quarrel with “E” and whether she’s capable of handling the task at hand, Sam agrees to hire her when he realizes the male trackers are more likely to steal his Cherry chip for themselves and leave Sam for dead than actually follow through with their end of the bargain. The two unlikely partners set out into “The Zone” on an adventure with several parallels not only to ‘Mad Max’ but also reminiscent to ‘Blade Runner’ and ‘A Boy and His Dog’.

The two rebel searchers roar through “The Zone” in E’s vintage 1960’s red Ford Mustang with over-sized wheels while being chased by Lester, the man in charge and leader of the self-proclaimed authority of Zone 7 where E and Sam must travel to find the new body for his Cherry 2000. Lester is played by b-movie legend Tim Thomerson (Trancers) who adds a lot of fun to this film. Lester is a sensitive but dangerous warlord of sorts who is obsessed with health and fitness. He and his goons wear Hawaiian shirts and stick to a rigorous diet and exercise routine. Anyone who questions him or his methods finds themselves up close and personal with the business end of his six-shooter.

Yeah, that’s Laurence Fishburne playing a futuristic lawyer/pimp at the Glu Glu Club, a night club where men go to arrange intimate business transactions with sexually professional women.

Davis Andrews has a sort of Don Johnson thing going on in ‘Cherry 2000’ which is funny since Griffith had a lengthy relationship with Johnson. With out a second thought, Griffith steals the spotlight in this slightly-cheesy but fun sci-fi cult classic that is an example of a film that does a decent job of borrowing from other films and still feels original.

Legendary character actor and Academy Award-winner (Best Supporting Actor, “The Last Picture Show”) Ben Johnson plays retired tracker and mentor to “E” Six-Fingered Jake. Jake lives in a concrete waterway underneath a dam and cooks rattlesnakes for dinner in his toaster oven. ‘Cherry 2000’ has colorful futuristic sets, vast post-apocalyptic landscapes, big guns, car chases and explosions to boot.

If you can find the DVD, it does have the uncommon presence of a special feature for a DVD released in 2001. The DVD includes a “making of” documentary which is both humorous for it’s 80’s nostalgia and interesting as a look into the making of the movie.

Taglines:

“In the futre, the world has sruvived. Romance has not. Pleasure is strictly business.”

“In The Year 2017, A Good Woman Is Hard To Find. A Cherry 2000 Is Even Harder.”