S.L.I.F.F. Review: ‘Timecrimes’

Jeremy:

You could get a nosebleed thinking too hard about time travel movies. Â  If John and Sarah Connor stop Judgment Day from happening in ‘Terminator 2’, than the war with the machine can’t happen, and Kyle Reese can’t go back in time to impregnate Sarah. Â  If the bad guy dies while he’s young in ‘Timecop’, than he can’t grow old to wreak havoc on the future forcing JCVD to go back in time and stop him. Â  There are millions of paradoxes created from time travel movies. Â  Don’t even get me started on the continuity sins Heroes has committed with all of its time-travel shenanigans. Â  ‘Back to the Future II’ even had a scene where Doc Brown tried to explain what was happening in the film on a chalk board, and it still didn’t help.

Unfortunately, Nacho Vigalondo’s ‘Timecrimes’ doesn’t seem to be doing anything new in the subgenre of time travel movies. Â  In it, Karra Elejalde plays Hector, a man who is staying with his wife on their country home. Â  While looking at the wooded area surrounding the house one day, Hector notices a naked woman. Â  Naturally, he hiked out into the woods to investigate. Â  There, he gets attacked by a man dressed in a trench coat and who has pink bandages covering his head. Â  Hector runs and seeks shelter in a laboratory atop the hill. Â  There, he runs into Chico, played by writer/director, Vigalondo, a scientist who tell him to hide in a large contraption filled with some kind of liquid. Â  Hector does so, only to emerge seconds later having been transported back in time one hour. Â  Hilarity ensues.

I say that last bit facetiously, but one of the main problems with ‘Timecrimes’ is this weird sense of humor it has about it. Â  There are several instances where unintentional laughter breaks any concentration you might have on the overall story. Â  Maybe that was Vigalondo’s intentions to distract you from how convoluted and absolutely predictable the second half of the film gets.

And, the second half is not only that. Â  It’s also tedious to sit through. Â  After Hector goes back in time one hour, we spend about 45 minutes watching him set up everything we saw happen before he went back in time. Â  It’s supposed to make you go “ah”, but it really makes you go “yeah, I saw that coming”.

It doesn’t help that Elejalde is a less-than-ideal leading man. Â  I’m all about the atypical protagonist, but this story should at least have you caring whether or not he fixes everything and gets back to his wife. Â  After about 20 minutes of watching him mess with his past self, whom the movie ingeniously refers to as “Hector 2”, I was ready for him to just touch the past self causing the graphic implosion that ended ‘Timecop’.

The film really picks back up again in the third act when some genuine surprises emerge. Â  It’s still not all that intense as it should be, and there are still several scenes involving unnecessary comedy. Â  However, the simple fact that Vigalondo incorporates some unpredictable twists into it makes up for all that. Â  When ‘Timecrimes’ ends, you are left with several unanswered questions, but wrapping everything up nice and neat isn’t required. Â  It would have been nice if Vigalondo had given us something more than was offered, but the ending of the film is the least of its problems.

What ‘Timecrimes’ has to offer is a rather intelligent brain-twister and little else. Â  It could have given so much more. Â  This is the kind of film that is prime for a Hollywood remake, and it looks as if David Cronenberg will be directing just that. Â  I have no doubt he will bring something fresh to the table. Â  The original, however, is a disappointment. Â  It’s still better than most of the unoriginal garbage that comes out weekend after weekend, but ‘Timecrimes’ isn’t the end-all, be-all of time travel movies. Â  Something a little more thrilling and a little less comical would have made for a rousing good time. Â  This isn’t that.

[Overall: 2.5 stars out of 5]