His Name Is Bruce

His Name Is Bruce OR, How I Became Bruce Campbell’s Stalker For 2 Days

Two days ago I posted my review of My Name Is Bruce, the newest film from B-Movie Icon Bruce Campbell. I gave it 4 out of 5 buckets of Bean Curds. To see why or to understand what the hell Bean Curds has to do with anything, read the full review here. You’d also see that I upped the rating to 5 out of 5 if you attend a screening that Bruce Campbell hosts. He just kicked off a nationwide tour of the film, where he introduces and follows the film with a Q & A for several screenings in each city he visits. I went to a few of the NY screenings and made several attempts to get an interview with the man himself. What follows is the story of my failed attempts, a rundown of Bruce’s answers from the Q & A’s I attended and if you skip down to the bottom, 2 videos of Bruce. The first is an entire 20 minute Q & A, which is hilarious, and the second is what I am calling my 2 question sorta semi-interview with Bruce Campbell. Enjoy!

I consider myself a Bruce Campbell fan. I personally believe the Evil Dead trilogy is the greatest horror trilogy of all time, despite the fact that Army of Darkness is an action comedy and Evil Dead 2 is more funny than scary. I loved his autobiography, enjoyed what I read of Make Love The Bruce Campbell Way and generally feel that Bruce is the best part of whatever terrible movie he is in. There are also some other great movies he stars in like Bubba Ho-Tep and Man With The Screaming Brain, which was his directorial debut. The point is that I am a fan so I was really looking forward to this movie. I saw Bruce live before so I was looking forward to the Q & A almost as much as the film. I also was going with the goal of scoring an interview with him. A task that I learned is not an easy feat, even when you talk directly with him a few times.

The last time I was at Sunshine Cinema, I attended the Good Dick screening, which was hosted by Marianna Palka and Jason Ritter. After the Q & A, they exited through the main lobby, which requires walking to the back of the theater. I thought Bruce would do the same so I sat in the aisle seat of the last row on the right side of the theater. Bruce entered through a stage door on the front left side of the room. Fuck. I knew I would not get close enough to talk to Bruce this time so maybe I’d bring it up during the Q & A after the movie. If not, I told my friend Kenny that we would have to stick around for the next showing.

Bruce comes out and introduces the film. He jokes if anyone has any questions about a movie they have never seen before. He uses this joke at every other intro to the film that I attended and it got laughs every time. He tells us how the NY Times, Village Voice and TimeOUT NY all trashed the film so he hopes we enjoy it more than them. He also reminds us that the Bruce Campbell in the film is a fictional character that is only somewhat based on the real Bruce Campbell so don’t get pissed off at him when he rips on his fans, which happens a lot in the film.

The movie plays. It ends to a round of applause and some people clap along to the theme song played over the end credits. Bruce comes out and things get interesting. If you’ve never seen him in person, think of Ash Williams and that is Bruce in person, minus the chainsaw for an arm. Bruce is completely self-deprecating and he hurls insults at the audience throughout but it’s all in good fun.

• The film is a “redemptive story† and a “cautionary tale† of what could happen to a promising actor held back by crappy B-movies.
• Someone asked if he reads the Burn Notice fan boards since she submits fan fiction on there. He asked if “Sam and Michael get it on† in her fan fiction. He never lets the fact that she writes fan fiction go and he picks on her the whole night.
• “There is a code for each monster† – Every monster has to have a weakness and this particular monster’s is bean curd. The crowd laughed so Bruce told them that My Name Is Bruce is an “extremely well researched picture.† Guan Di really is the Chinese God of War and was also the Patron Saint of Bean Curd because before Guan Di became a deity, he was a bean curd seller.
• If Bruce Campbell were elected President, he would “rule with an iron first† but he has done so much crap and made so many bad movies that it would take them only about an hour to rule him out as president. “I inhaled†
• Â  Someone gave him a bottle of homemade blueberry liquor and Bruce asked for any other gifts, which he went around collecting.
• When speaking to someone in the front he told them they were too close to watch the movie. “It’s all chin!†
• Someone asked if the movie could get any more masturbatory since the film is basically 86 minutes of Bruce Campbell and why he is so awesome. The crowd booed and Bruce said the film would only be masturbatory if he took himself seriously. He then told the guy to go home and jerk off while thinking about him.
• Has no plans for a 3rd book.
• Someone realized that no one complimented the film yet so he told Bruce the film was awesome. Bruce gave the guy $5. The guy got a few more bucks out of it when he changed it to “fucking awesome!†
• Will Ferrell took over his spot as spokesperson for Old Spice.
• Jack of All Trades has the best TV theme song ever.
• The Olympics stole the theme song from Briscoe County Jr.
• Someone requests an autograph and is booed. Please don’t waste time with personal requests. (Shit, there goes asking him for an interview)
• Most Obsessed Fans? A while back a guy approached him who had the Army of Darkness poster tattooed on his back. “The entire back was the poster.† Someone in the crowd screamed that he has it on his arm. Bruce said yeah, “guys like that†
• Someone said something that made no sense and just stared at Bruce silently afterwards. Bruce replied, “Did you have a question or are you just gonna keep being weird?†
• He never met Mike Nichols or most of the other people he wrote about in his book Make Love The Bruce Campbell Way. No one cares who he is, that’s why no one has sued him yet over the book.
• Most low budget director’s blow.
•   At the Halloween screening a day before, he exchanged Hawaiian shirts with a girl who came dressed as him. She came back to this screening and he asked where his shirt is. She said it’s hanging on her cardboard cutout of Xena. He replied “I could have called that one† He then asked if she was friends with the girl who wrote fan fiction and if they weren’t, he suggested they should hang out.
• Someone asked if there will be My Name Is Bruce The Musical and Bruce said “Why not?†
• Â  Doesn’t have a favorite film that he has worked on cause he isn’t dead yet.
• Someone yelled out that this was his favorite so Bruce gave him $2.
• Â  Someone asked what they had to do for $10 and Bruce said kill the movie critics at the NY Times, Village Voice and TimeOUT NY.
• There are several 3 stooges references in the film. 3 Businesses are named after the stooges. (Moe’s Manure, Shemp’s Whiskey and Larry’s Livery)
• Â  Believe it or not, his cameos are the most important part of each Spiderman movie. In the first one he names Spiderman. In the second one he does not let Peter in to the play, hence he is the only man to defeat Spiderman. In the third film, Peter goes to him to advice. People in trouble go to Spiderman for help and Spiderman goes to him for help. Therefore, he is the better of the two.
• Don’t try to find the cabin from the Evil Dead. You will be shot.
• Could you say groovy for me? “I could if I was your monkey†
• “Thank you for supporting this theater.†

Bruce left and we decide to stick around for the next showing. I had a note as backup in case I didn’t have time to talk to him. We went back on the line and waited till close to midnight. Then we found out the theater changed for the midnight showing and we were on the line for a special screening of Nightmare on Elm Street. We run upstairs to the ticket taker and I play dumb. I ask what theater Bruce is in and he tells me Auditorium 3. I thank him and we run up to the theater. We enter in the middle of Bruce’s intro. I head down to the front row and Kenny sits a few seats away.

• Bruce asks if anyone has any questions since he would not be back for a Q & A after this screening since it was so late.
• Someone asks if he will be playing Mysterio in Spiderman 4. Bruce says that everyone asks him that and he doesn’t even really know who that is so he asks the person to tell him about the character. “Why do fans torment me about him?† After hearing the description and getting a confident yes that a battle between Spiderman and Mysterio would be awesome from the questioner, Bruce said Ok, he would play him.
• The movie he hates the most is Frogs.
• A strange man asks him to sign a miniature wooden bowling pin. Bruce agrees only because it is the most unrelated thing anyone has ever asked him to sign. Bruce asks the guy for the story behind the pins and he explains that his friend owned a bowling alley and gave them out as gifts and now he makes celebrities sign them. Bruce asked who else the guy has. Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep were the first two he named. Bruce requested that his pin go right next to Eastwood’s. He kept going back to the man and asking him personal questions because he was just so fascinated by him.
• His biggest fear is this movie. He then asked the crowd what their biggest fears are. Kenny yelled out apples, which caused Bruce to crack up. He asked why and Kenny told him that they are red on the outside but white on the inside and it’s deceiving. He then started naming types of apples. Bruce and everyone else laughed. As far as I know, he made up this fear but I do plan on leaving an apple in his locker at work.
• He filmed the movie in Oregon, his home state. In fact, most of the movie was filmed on his property. They built the entire town of Gold Lick on his land but he did not say if the town is still up or if they took it down yet.
• He then thanked everyone for coming and supporting his film and the theater.

That’s when I sprung into action. I popped up and told Bruce that I was a writer for We Are Movie Geeks. He held the mic out and we had a private conversation in front of everyone. I told him that I loved the film and he would be getting a good review from us. He said finally, “one good review this weekend.† I then showed him on my note where I wrote, “Fuck the NY Times† and he laughed. He told me that if I killed the papers that gave him a bad review, he’d make it worthwhile. I told him that I didn’t need the $10 and he laughed. I then mentioned I’d love to do an interview with him and in typical Bruce Campbell fashion, in an overly sarcastic way he said, “I’ll be in touch† and then walked out the door. I decided right then that I had to go back the next day.

I go home, order the tickets and come back the next day with my dad who is a big time Bubba Ho-Tep fan. I sit in the front row again. Bruce comes out and introduces the film. He asks if anyone has any questions about a movie that no one has seen and hen tells the crowd he will be back after the before walking off. I pop up and hand him my review of the film, as well as a little note thanking him for talking with me and once again asking for an interview. He said he remembered me from the night before and then leaves. He was not too open to the idea of an interview.

He comes back after the film for the Q & A. I decided that if I wasn’t going to get an interview with him, I’d steal one. So I took out my camera and filmed the entire Q & A. Below is the complete unedited footage. I would consider it mostly audio only since the video quality is really bad. It was a dark theater and I used my cheap minidv. The part with the tattoo came out pretty good though and there are some very funny visual moments that are decent quality.

Bruce Campbell Q & A

After this Q & A, I still was not satisfied. I knew I was not going to get a one on one interview with him but I at least wanted my question answered. I’m not sure if it was the fan inside of me or the budding journalist but, you guessed it, I decided to stick around for one more screening. I settle back in to the front row and watch as Bruce comes out. He asks if anyone has any questions about the film and he does not see my hand go up. He then talks a little about the film and tells everyone that he will be back after the film for a Q & A. He starts waking off. I stop him and tell him I have a question†¦

Bruce Campbell on Ron Perlman & Bubba Nosferatu

That ladies and gentleman is how you get a 2 question sorta semi-interview with Bruce Campbell. One day I hope to actually get a real interview with the man but for now that will do just fine. Did I act as a stalker or was I just really persistent? You decide.  

Jerry Cavallaro – www.AreYouStuckLikeChuck.com