Best of the Bad… ‘Frankenhooker’

Melissa:

“Wanna date?”

Do you like 80’s babes? Science geeks? Watching hookers go crazy for super crack? Then boy do I have a movie for you! (Yes. It was released in 1990 but they are still 80’s babes!).

Directed by Frank Hennenlotter, who gave us the awesomely bad ‘Basket Case’ series, ‘Frankenhooker’ follows the story of Jeffrey Franken (James Lorinz), an electrician/mad scientist/medical student flunky who spends his time conducting odd experiments. The only person who doesn’t find him freakish is his girlfriend Elizabeth Shelley (Patty Mullen), a pretty girl with a bit of a weight problem. When Elizabeth is killed by a freak lawnmower accident, Jeffrey makes it his mission to rebuild her using her leftover head. (Let’s face it, Jeffrey is not exactly a catch! Elizabeth is probably the only woman on the planet to find him remotely attractive!)

One catch though… If Jeffrey’s going to rebuild her, then he’s going to give her the perfect body! Her head is stored in a freezer filled with some sort of preserving formula, only to bring it out for romantic candlelit dinners and meaningful conversations until he devises a plan.

Hmmm… Now where can he find body parts for the perfect woman?

I know! Hookers! Let’s find some really attractive hookers and kill them for their body parts using super crack! Yes, SUPER CRACK! That’s the most logical solution that I can think of!

But wait! There’s more! When Jeffrey finally rebuilds his beloved Elizabeth and brings her back to life in the electrical storm (Wait…Electrical Storm…Franken… Oh! I get it!), she starts turning tricks and acting like the hookers that make up her now hot body! This leaves our beloved Jeffrey to find her as she runs the streets of New York, turning tricks and taking lives. That’s some woman!

Sure the movie lacks things like an intricate story line, big names, and witty banter, but it doesn’t really matter. Sometimes you just want to see someone killed by some good ol’ spontaneous combustion from super crack!

The first time I saw this movie my face hurt from laughter! It’s completely ridiculous! So if you’re looking for a cheesy horror film that’ll leave you rolling on the floor, check this one out!