Review: ‘The Mummy, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor’

Travis:

Please, make it stop! Maybe its me, but the onslaught of sequels is really starting to cause me physical pain. I liked the first ‘Mummy’ and even enjoyed the second ‘Mummy’ but the third is just taking it too far, not to mention its probably one of the ten worst movies I’ve seen all year. The entire film felt like the writer was struggling to come up with ideas for a third installment, and that’s just the beginning of what’s wrong with this movie.

Brendan Frasier returns as the adventure-seeking archaeologist Rick O’Connell, this time retired and living life with his wife Evelyn (Maria Bello) who has made a small fortune from her two books, ‘The Mummy’ and ‘The Mummy Returns’. The couple pretends to be happy and settled down into their wealthy home life, but really they crave the excitement of their past adventures. As it turns out, their son Alex (Luke Ford) has taken to his father’s whims as an archaeologist prone to risky adventures. However, mummy and daddy think he’s still in college while he’s actually in China excavating the tomb of the mythic Dragon Emperor. Rick and Evelyn are contacted by a man to take on one last mission, they accept and when they arrive in China they discover what Alex has really been up to. Alas, the mission was a setup and now the family O’Connell must fight to survive while also keeping the now resurrected, but still cursed, Dragon Emperor (Jet Li) from reaching Shangri-La and taking a swim in the Pool of Eternal Life. If they can’t stop him, he will raise his army of indestructible soldiers and conquer the world.

If this plot breakdown sounds exciting to you, please reconsider. This movie is anything but exciting. A large portion of the film is actually painfully boring. The dialogue is atrocious, laden with one-liner quips and cliche’ puns and tongue-in-cheek humor that fails miserably. Frasier bombs at both the comedic aspects of his performance as well as the “attempts” at some serious father-son bonding scenes intended to invoke empathy. Worse yet, the romance story line between Rick and Evelyn is overdone, yet horribly under-achieved. Speaking of which, Maria Bello’s unforgivably BAD (fake) English accent just stands right up in front of everything else in the movie and says “look at me” like a massive red zit that makes an appearance right before a major event. Oh, but fear not… we get two love stories for the price of one. Alex develops an incredibly fast and unrealistically easy romance with Li (Isabella Leong) who happens to be the immortal daughter of Zi Juan (Michelle Yeoh), the immortal witch who was killed by the Dragon Emperor for betraying his love for her.

For a movie being marketed as a big-budget action adventure film, there is surprisingly less action and adventure than I had expected and of far less quality than the first two films, but is replaced with far more cheesy melodrama and poorly executed humor than any one person should ever be forced to endure. The one and only saving grace in ‘The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor’ is that the Yeti special effects were really pretty cool. Unfortunately, even an army of CGI yeti’s doesn’t stand a chance in saving this nuclear-class box office bomb from failing completely.

(1 out of 5 stars)

Charles:

I recently saw the new Mummy film (this past week) and honestly it was not as exciting as the first film which was released about a decade ago. Of course, I had no real expectations since the creators of the series, seemingly, have not been able to come up with any new ideas except for digging up an evil mummy. I really liked the first Mummy. The Second Mummy was a little too crummy and this movie was beyond stupid. The story has not changed much and is dry. Typical Mummy rises story. Mummy wants to rule the world. Good guys go on an adventure to stop Mummy. Oh boy, do these movies have to end now! This has to be one of the worst films of the summer,Who am I kidding?? It might be the worst movie of the year, and to think that the fans were waiting this long for the film. It disappoints the hell out of me. Meet Dave was really bad, but this sank the ship. I’d rather sit through another showing of Meet Dave than watch this junk. You hear me? What has Rob Cohen been doing for the last couple of years?…FAILING AS A DIRECTOR!

Maria Bello, who I personally love from certain films like “A History of Violence” and “The Cooler”, is atrocious as the new wife of Rick O’Connell (Brendan Fraser). O’Connells son Alex (Luke Ford) is forced to say corny lines that would only be appealing to kids. Don’t go to this movie thinking you are going to see ANY fine acting because the acting we’re obliged to sit through is so cheesy that you will laugh. I can’t even say how horrible Brendan Fraser’s lines are. By the way, Maria Bello’s English accent also has to be the worst in the entire history of cinema. If you’re looking for something other than the great Dark Knight this summer then this may have some alright special effects you might like but still you should pay NO money to see this… so just wait for it on cable, please.

(1 star out of 5)

Ram Man:

Brendan Fraser is just back from his trip to the center of the earth, now he’s fighting Mummies again. Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor has The O’Connell family: Rick (Fraser), Evelyn (Maria Bello replaces Rachel Weisz) and their son Alex (introducing Luke Ford) doing what they do best..tomb raiding and unearthing evil mummies! This time Jet Li plays Han The Dragon Emperor.

The Mummy:Tomb of the Dragon Emperor begins with the tale of Han China’s most powerful emperor who vanquished all enemies and had only  to beat death itself. He is double-crossed by a scorned sorceress who puts a spell on him that  forces  Han and his army of 10,000 warriors  to live in suspended animation as a clay statues. After the emperor and his troops are clay-mated the tomb is sealed so that the Dragon Emperor may never rise again.

I guess they never counted on the O’Connells. The archaeologist family that prides themselves on artifacts and un-earthing mummies. Alex O’Connell, college drop out is secretly carrying on the family business in Shang-Hi, searches for the tomb of the Dragon Emperor. Alex’s parents Rick and Evelyn are tolerating a life in retirement longing for one last adventure. The Royal family requests that the O’Connells safely deliver the Shangri-La Diamond back to Shag-Hi as an act of good faith between the nations. Rick and Evelyn jump at the chance and are off to an unexpected family reunion in China. As in the previous two installments, the whole thing is a set up to get the diamond to the emperor and bring him back to life. The emperor not only must posses the diamond he must take it high in the Himalayan mountains to Shangri-La and drink from the pool of eternal life to break the curse and live forever.   This begins the chase through the Himalayan   mountains to the huge slobber-knocker battle at the end of the film. One of the few highlights of the film happen when the Yettie (giant abominable snowmen)  battle the Chinese Army in the Himalayas and brush them aside like gorillas with rag dolls.

Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor is somewhat entertaining but has too many Dr. Phil moments and not enough Human vs. Mummy action.  Ã‚  When Rachael Weisz   declined to appear in this Mummy film, Universal should have sent Evelyn on a book tour and made it a father/son Mummy adventure. But..no they cast Maria Bello and  her concocted  faux British accent that was like nails on a chalkboard…and she has a lot of dialogue in this one. Kids will like the Mummy, but for most it will fall short and having you wishing Brendan Fraser had stayed in the center of the Earth.

(2.5 stars out of 5)

Scott:

Let me first say that I really liked the first two ‘Mummy’ movies. I was really excited to see this one, but from the begining of the movie I was let down.   The action sequences are boring, and not original at all. I had to fight myself from falling asleep in between the cheesy dialog, and lame attempts to be funny. The movie tried to be smart, and witty but it came up short everytime. There were really no saving graces for ‘The Mummy 3’ other than there was a little more Sci Fi in this one that previously..but do yourself a favor and skip this one.

[rating: 1.75/5]