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Best of the Bad … ‘Return of the Living Dead’ – We Are Movie Geeks

Best of the Bad

Best of the Bad … ‘Return of the Living Dead’

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‘Return of the Living Dead’

Return of the Living Dead (1985) is an example of a bad movie that’s not really all that bad … just intentionally cheesy. Dan O’Bannon directed this sequel-parody to the classic Night of the Living Dead, but here’s an interesting note on O’Bannon … this is one of only two films he’s directed. O’Bannon is actually a writer whose resume includes Lifeforce (1985), Invaders from Mars (1986), Total Recall (1990), Screamers (1995) and various writing work on all four Alien films as well as Alien vs. Predator and AVP-Requiem.

The film begins as Freddy, played by Thom Mathews (Jason Lives, Kickboxer 4), is being trained for his new job as a clerk at a medical supply warehouse called Uneeda Medical Supply. His new boss Frank, played by James Karen (Mulholland Dr., Apt Pupil), ends the day’s training by telling Freddy a story about how the Night of the Living Deadmovie was actually based on true events, but had to be embellished and details had to be changed after the film-makers were threatened by the authorities. Freddy is intrigued, but not entirely convinced … so, Frank takes Freddy to the basement to see the zombie corpses that are sealed in Army tanks, which just happened to be mistakenly shipped to Uneeda Medical Supply instead of the correct destination. While gawking at the zombie remains, the two foolishly rupture one of the tanks, releasing the deadly chemical agent into the air. From here, of course, zombie mayhem ensues as the encased zombie escapes and a cadaver in the warehouse is cremated at a nearby mortuary after being re-animated by the chemical gas. What the characters didn’t expect was the smoke from the crematorium exhaust entering the atmosphere and causing a rainstorm spilling toxic chemical laced rain drops all over the city. Coincidentally, a massive cemetery exists right across the street from the mortuary. This happens to be where a group of wild and weird punk teens decide to hang out and party. The party suddenly gets bigger when the toxic rain awakens the dead in the cemetery and all Hell breaks loose.

The acting in Return of the Living Dead is purposely over-the-top, from comically cartoonish expressions of fear to hyper-stereotypical portrayals of teens from the 80’s, taking the fashions and attitudes of 80’s punk to hilariously extreme levels. The gang of punks includes the leader Suicide who is covered in chains, the freaky death-obsessed girl Trash, played by Linnea Quigley (an icon of b-movies), and Spider, played by Miguel A. Nunez, Jr. (who also has had a modestly successful career in comedies and b-movies since ROTLD). The gun-toting, slightly paranoid Ernie the mortician is played by Don Calfa (Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town), another regular of the b-movie genre.

Return of the Living Dead is not a poorly made film. The special effects make-up is pretty good, comical, but impressive for a low-budget horror-comedy from the 80’s. The soundtrack is a blast, very typical of the 80’s but also kind of edgy and new, compared to what similar movies of the time were doing with their soundtracks. The best, and perhaps most original part of this movie, is that zombies not only talk, but are actually intelligent. What do you do if zombies can open doors, radio in for dispatch to send more paramedics and cops and solve complex problems like how to remove the steel door keeping you from the fresh teenage brains of a scared punk girl? The main characters quickly learn that the movies were wrong and destroying the brain will not stop the zombies. In the end, the owner of the medical supply warehouse finally decides to call the emergency 800 number on the side of the tank in hopes of being rescued. Unfortunately, his hesitance to inform the authorities was a bad decision for them, as the film ends … what? You actually thought I was going to tell you the ending. Nope. You’ll just have to watch this one, grin and bare it to the end and find out for yourself.

Hopeless film enthusiast; reborn comic book geek; artist; collector; cookie connoisseur; curious to no end