Best of the Bad … ‘Return of the Killer Tomatoes!’

As I am sure this entire post will be old news for any “true” movie geek, I felt it necessary to include as part of the Best of the Bad series … especially now that the classic Attack of the Killer Tomatoes will apparently be getting an update. Its nice to know that the stuff of legend such as these films of questionable caliber are recognized and remembered by folks like Netflix. I made a point about a week ago to rent this title to watch it again and, when I received it in the mail, I was pleased to see that Netflix had actually put some money into making this title available. The Return of the Killer Tomatoes DVD has nothing but the title and a big Netflix logo emblazoned on it. Being a devout Netflix user, I can attest that only movies that no one else wants to touch are graced with this honor. They must have been sold by the theme song …

Returrrrrrrrrrrrrrn of the Killer ToMA-toooooes …
Returrrrrrrrrrrrrrn of the Killer ToMA-toooooes …
The theme song still remains the same …
the plot itself has hardly unchanged …
A guaranteed bet … for fortune and fame.

Sure, you may ask why I am focusing on the sequel instead of the original. That’s the answer. Its a sequel to Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. This is reason enough to consider it among the best of the bad. But really, ROTKT is a different kind of movie. First of all, we rarely even see any tomatoes in the sequel. The most frequently seen tomato is FT (Fuzzy Tomato), the little mutant tomato that Tara (tomato-babe, played by Baywatch babe Karen Mistal) runs away with and promises to protect. Sorry, I am assuming everyone has seen this. Tara is the tomato that the evil Dr. Gangreen, played by John Astin (The Addams Family), transformed into his personal female assistant and sex-slave. So, Tara runs away and seeks safety and companionship from Chad Finletter, the nephew of the legendary Wilbur Finletter, a hero of the Great Tomato War. Chad is smitten, but finds something odd about his newly acquired sugar-baby. Chad works at his uncle’s pizza parlor with his buddy Matt, played by George Clooney (yeah, he’s actually made a career since this movie. Can you imagine?). Let’s fast forward …

Chad finds out Tara’s a tomato … Tara runs away, but is captured by Dr. Gangreen and his assistant Igor … Chad and Matt must rescue her and stop Dr. Gangreen from creating a new army of tomato-man soldiers … they enlist the help of Wilbur and his VTW (Veterans of the Tomato War) friends … Dr. Gangreen is defeated, the world is safe and Chad gets his girl-amato … [hope I didn’t ruin it for anyone?]

The tongue-in-cheek writing and silly plot are a given, but what also separates this from the first is that the entire movie is making fun of itself and the original, but is also poking fun at the Hollywood movie-making machine. At one point, the movie stops on film and production is halted because they ran out of money. George, I mean Matt, suggests its time to give in and start benefiting from product placement. From here, I remember at least 4-5 massive Pepsi-cola plugs along with several other recognizable brands. There is even a pot-shot against the Screen Actors Guild, but I’ll not go there as the current SAG situation indicates I may be assassinated for making derogatory remarks about SAG.

You’ve already been introduced to the theme song of ROTKT, but that is only one musical gem available from this movie. My personal favorite is a romantic montage of clips showing Chad and Tara falling in love, repeatedly pestered by a wacky mime, all playing to a Sinatra-esque crooner ballad called “Touch Me There.” Classic good-bad stuff.

Surely this isn’t the first you’ve heard about this George Clooney guy, but here’s two other pieces of Killer Tomato trivia you may not know:

• [U.S. Congressman Gary Condit, who became a household name in the Chandra Levy disappearance, has an uncredited roles as a patron in the pizzeria. The movie was co-written and co-produced by a friend of Condit’s, J. Stephen Peace. Peace, along with Condit, was a member of the California State Assembly at the time.] — IMDB.com
• [In 1978, under the pseudonym “Foo Cameron”, Cameron sang the song “Puberty Love” which was featured in the movie Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.] Cameron later became a drummer for the bands Soundgarden and Pearl Jam.