Bad Reviews
Review: ‘The Gingerdead Man’
Nick:
The Gingerdead Man
Cast & Credits
Millard Findlemeyer: Gary Busey
Sarah Leigh: Robin Sydney
Written by William Butler, Domonic Muir, August White
Directed by Charles Band
Running time: 70 minutes
Unrated
Millard Findlemeyer (Busey) is a ruthless killer who comes back to life in the form of a murderous gingerbread man, so he can have revenge on the victim that got away, Sara Leigh (Sydney).
The back of the DVD box informs you that Millard Findlemeyer kills Sara Leigh’s family, but she lives, and “During the trial, Sara’s testimony sends Millard to the electric chair and his ashes are sent to his mother. In a vow of revenge, Millard’s mother mixes her son’s ashes with a secret gingerbread cookie mix, which makes its way into Sara Leigh’s bakery.â€
It’s a good thing I read that blurb, because you don’t actually see any of that happen. What you see is:
- Gary Busey sleepwalking through a thankless role
- He shoots people whom we have never been introduced
- A girl is working at a bakery
- A cloaked stranger drops off a suspicious batch of gingerbread mix-
- †¦that is promptly used to make cookies with.
It’s just an assembly line of scenes with no consideration for plot or character. Or intelligence. Exposition? What is that?
Ugh.
The Gingerdead Man was released – direct-to-video – on November 8, 2005. It was directed by Charles Band and written by Domonic Muir and August White, from a story by William Butler.
IMDB credits Band as having directed thirty-two movies. This film represents the latter end of that thirty-two films and has all the wonderment of a fetid turd. How can a movie about a killer cookie with the voice of Gary Busey be so, so bad? It is emotionally flat, poorly staged and boring.
What the hell happened to the Charles Band that directed Doctor Mordrid? I mean, that movie didn’t win any Oscars but it was entertaining. Better yet, what happened to the Charles Band that produced From Beyond, Dolls, Puppet Master and The Pit and the Pendulum (1991)? You would think that after producing 236 films, give or take, you would learn something about quality control.
This movie, this concept, if given a little time to bake (Ha!)†¦ it could’ve been something truly bizarre, a real midnight movie. In reality, it’s more like an endurance test. Can you will yourself to watch it all the way through?
On a positive note, I have always enjoyed Gary Busey and, honestly, his presence was the key reason for my interest in this movie. Unfortunately, Busey is only in the movie for a couple of minutes, the rest is just uninspired dialogue for a goddamn cookie.
Another positive note is in the execution of the title character, Gingerdead Man. John Carl Buechler is the special effects man responsible for the creation of the little guy, and Mark Andrews was the head puppeteer. Buechler is a seasoned effects man, having worked on crazy stuff like From Beyond, Friday the 13th Part VII, Nightmare on Elm Street 4Â and Carnosaur. Most recently, Buechler was responsible for the gruesome stuff in Hatchet. Andrews is no slouch either, having racked up numerous credits in just a couple of years.
It is always a shame to see talented people waste their time. Don’t get me wrong, I knew this wasn’t going to be great by any means, but I was kind of hoping for a decent piece of trash cinema.
Avoid this ocular rape.
Side note(s):
Domonic Muir, one of Gingerdead Man’s three credited writers, also worked on the screenplay to Critters. Who wants to take bets on when that movie gets a remake?
Oh, and The Gingerdead Man has a sequel coming out this year.
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