‘Hellraiser’ Remake Gets Writers, ‘Hellraiser’ Fans Get Dissapointed

ShockTillYouDrop.com told me to tell you that the Hellraiser remake being put together by the Weinsteins has its writers now that the strike is over. Unfortunately those writers are Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton, the men behind such horror “classics” as Feast and Saw IV and no doubt upcoming “cinematic gems” such as Saw V and Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds and Feast 3: The Happy Finish. See, what I tend to do is indicate my facetious tone through quotation marks, pretty clever huh? Yep, basically if you’re a fan of the original Clive Barker masterpiece you might as well get comfortable crying in front of other people now because that’s what you’ll be doing when this thing premieres. As a small reassurance, perhaps you will get some pleasure out of seeing a giant picture of a Cenobite hovering over an image from Juno all day long.

(I’m going out of town for a few days, but I’ll return to the site on Friday. -Brett)