10 Worst Movies (in my opinion)

Well, first off. Sorry I haven’t been on here in awhile I have been very sick and am much better now. But you don’t care about that, you want the juicy stuff. Keep in mind, it is not in any kind of order. These are all movies that I would rather gouge my eyes out with a Taco Bell spork, then watch again. Lets get this crap train a-rollin!

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Remake)

Even though I have a bleeding hatred for Tim Burton. That is not the reason this movie makes the list. I like that it is a complete waste of film, because of all the changes. Did anyone really care why Willy Wonka was all loony in the first one. No, we just knew that guy was out of his mind and that was it. Willy Wonka didn’t need all these Daddy Issues for the movie to be good, what it needed to be good, was to not make it. Don’t get me wrong Johnny Depp is a fantastic actor, but whenever he works with Burton, I wanna cry. Oh, and they don’t have the same Oompa Loompa songs. The new ones are all hip and over the top.
EVERY UWE BOLL FILM!

If you like video games, then this man is your enemy. With a list like “Alone in the Dark” “House of the Dead” “House of the Dead 2” (YES, they made a sequel) “Blood Rayne” and”Blood Rayne 2″ (Again, he made a sequel) just to name a few of his movies. If you haven’t seen any of his movies, consider yourself blessed. He is the winner of numerous Raspberry Awards. Yet, he still makes movies. In fact you Metal Gear Solid fans (like me) were almost going to have a Uwe Boll directed Metal Gear Solid movie, until Hideo Kojima personally kicked him off the project.

Gigli

Well, you knew it would have to show up sooner or later. Yeah there isn’t much to say that has not already been said by every late night talk show host. First of all, putting two people that are dating in a movie about two people dating, not as clever as they thought. That’s all I’m going to say on this abomination.

YOU GOT SERVED

The only good thing that came out of this movie was a great episode of South Park. Other then that, pure crap! I mean, what is there to really say. I’m not going to review it, cause that would imply that it is a movie. Which that piece of boiled money turd, is no movie.

Son of the Mask

Well, you knew that Jamie Kennedy would pop up somewhere. The saddest thing about this movie, is that Alan Cummings is in it. I think he was drunk when he agreed to do this movie, that is the only way to explain it. Wow, The Mask without Jim Carey, Cameron Diaz, good writing, original plot and generally everything that was funny and good about the original. This makes me hate Jamie Kennedy that much more.

Daddy Day Camp

Yeah, it is a sad day when Cuba Gooding Jr. makes a worst movies list. But he had to have wanted this with Daddy Day Camp. This movie took everything that was cute and good about the fist one, and just dropped a massive steamer on it. The movie is not funny, it is not cute, it is not worth watching even if it was the only movie in the world. This movie makes me vomit in my mouth when I watch it, it is that retarded.

House Of Wax

If you thought Paris Hilton’s sex tape was boring, you should see her act! After watching Paris Hilton act I threw up, crapped myself, sneezed, coughed, got an ear infection, pissed my pants and went blind all at the same time. That is how bad it is.

Epic Movie

Now some of these parodies movies are funny, like Scary Movie 1 and 2, and that is all. My friend said this after watching this movie “I have never felt like a moment in my life has been completely wasted, until now.” This is coming from a guy that I have seen stare at a wall for 20 mins. Please if you see this movie in a discount bin and wonder “Eh, it’s only $5, I’ll get it” DO NOT GET IT! It’s a waste of time.

Batman Forever

Some call this movie “Batman Forever”, I call it “How Batman became a raging homosexual” This is just generally not good. And, what kind of male gymnast goes and lives with another guy that is single, and not be homosexual, checkmate. Despite by burning hated for Tim Burton, the Batman movie with Keaton, was the best one (Only because of Jack Nicholson as the Joker).

Corpse Bride

This is the only movie that I have walked out on. This is the reason that Tim Burton has not received not one penny from me in the last couple years. I vowed to never pay to see, or buy a Tim Burton movie again, for the rest of my life. So far I have been successful. The animation is not as good as A Nightmare Before Christmas and looks like it was not done with much care. Plus who would actually marry and zombie, that is nasty, not to mention the honeymoon would be illegal.

So, I hope many of you agreed and got a good laugh at these horrible movies and I truly hope that I may prevent at least one person from watching Epic Movie.