It’s very easy to hate a movie like this. It might as well be part of the SCARY MOVIE series, only it’s no where near as clever. Stan Helsing (Steve Howey)  is a stoner, douche bag, video store clerk who happens to be the descendent of Van Helsing, the famous monster killer that took out Dracula. On Halloween night several of films most famous monsters come to kill him, but first Stan has to drop off some tapes to the owner of the video store’s mother. Along the way they run into a lot of creepy people, but eventually get lost and trapped in a small cursed town where monsters come out after midnight. Now Stan has to save the people of the town, his friends, and live up to his destiny. Oh and he has to do it in a very terrible comedy with almost no laughs.

I honestly hated everything about this movie and had a very VERY hard time sitting through it. It’s jut on the cusp of seemingly like anyone actually tried. It’s several performances that are just bland and boring all around. The villains are bad rip offs of Pin Head, Leatherface, Freddy, Michael Myers and some others and they’re all idiots. What’s worse are there are moments that literally make no sense. One character comes out of the bathroom, did a costume change and then says “…does my vagina make me look fat?” To which the two men in the group start ranting and raving and then say no. It has nothing to do with anything, and you don’t see a vagina at all. It’s just awkward and unfunny. If they had panned down and she had some monstrous camel toe I might have understood.

Every single joke in this film fell flat. The only thing I laughed at was Leslie Neilsen’s appearance. It was surprisingly funny because he acted like a complete jerk. Most of the time Neilsen’s appearance in one of these films involves him playing some one slightly dumber than everyone around him. Here he’s sharp, witty and very biting. Nice change of pace. I guess it would have been redundant to have him playing a moron around an entire cast of people acting like morons.

You can’t really be surprised by how awful STAN HELSING is as a film. Director Bo Zenga has no directorial experience and is one of the writers on SOUL PLANE.  SOUL PLANE is one of the worst movies of all time and I’d have thought that anyone involved with creating it would have been banished from making more films. Sadly this isn’t the case. Zenga’s also responsible for writing STAN HELSING which explains the lack of any kind of humor.

Just a quick note here.   Apparently there have been rumors going around that Malcolm McDowell would not be returning to reprise his role of Dr. Sam Loomis in ‘H2′.   Rob Zombie slapped those rumors down on his Myspace page.

Rumors have it that Malcolm will not be returning as Dr. Loomis. Well, as usual the rumors are wrong. Malcolm McDowell will be back and ready to deal with big Mike.

So there!   ‘H2′ comes out on August 28th.

Source: Rob Zombie’s Myspace Page

Wes Craven hooked up Google this year with the above logo for google.com and I must say that its freaking awesome. The Jack-O-Lantern looks evil and ghoulish, and this is how you know you have made it. When Wes Craven does a logo for you..you are big time.

We just want to wish everyone a safe, and haunted Halloween tonight. Also want to thank all of our readers, especially Pam for making us this super badass reusable pumpkin seen above!

Thanks guys, and enjoy!

And just for good measure, thanks to JoBlo for this:

Her name is Denise Milani, and you should be her friend on Myspace. You can also visit her on denisemilani.com if you just cant get enough.

In honor of Halloween, we have a special Last Man/Monster Standing edition of WAMG’s Character Cage Match. This tournament of terror features eight of the most dangerous, ruthless and cunning killers from the horror movie genre.

Match #1: Michael Myers (Halloween) vs. Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th)

Match #2: Freddy Krueger (A Nightmare on Elm Street) vs. Candyman (Candyman)

Match #3: Pinhead (Hellraiser) vs. Jigsaw (Saw)

Match #4: Chucky (Child’s Play) vs. Leprechaun (Leprechaun)

Like the good ole days of WWF’s Royal Rumble, each pair will fight until only one remains standing. The winner of each pair will be paired up again, then again, until only the toughest, most brutally twisted movie maniac remains to claim the title. Who will be crowned king of the killers? Round one matches the maniacal misfits by their similarities, but things get more interesting when the winners are paired in round two. Let the carnage begin!

I want to officially invite anyone, and everyone to our Halloween Party this year. You can count on being and the biggest and best Halloween party around, so cancel your plans, and read below:

We Are Movie Geeks are kicking off their First Annual Halloween Party this year and expect for it to be as amazing as you would think a halloween party could be!

We will be having a Costume Contest, giving away prizes, free food, free drinks, dancing, and all of the fun you can possibly handle. The party is taking place Saturday October 25th at 7pm. The party is going down at the Stratford Inn Bar and Grill, admission is free, and we are giving away THOUSANDS of $$ worth of prizes, including a grand prize of $500 for the Best Costume. We are also giving away free shots, DVDs, posters, masks..you cant even begin to imagine all of the things that will be happening! Plus, we will have the best looking, single movie geek chicks in the WORLD, so there is absolutely no need to miss this!

If you need more info, or want to RSVP, email scott@wearemoviegeeks.com and we can talk.

See you all there!