Melissa:

How have I not written about this movie yet! The Legend of Billie Jean (1985) is definitely on my list of favorite movies! I only wish that they would make my dreams come true and release it in the states on DVD.

Billie Jean Davy (Helen Slater) and her brother Binx (Christian Slater) live in the lower income part of town. They don’t exactly fit in, if you leave out the boys who hit on Billie Jean… I mean come on, she is incredibly gorgeous. While protecting his sister from some local boys, Binx manages to anger them to the point that they trash his prize scooter and beat him to a pulp.

Billie Jean runs to the police only to find that they won’t do anything, so she decides to take the matter into her own hands. While confronting one of the local boys who trashed Binx’s bike, the boys father offers to pay for the bike… as long as Billie Jean sleeps with him. When she refuses and tries to run, he attacks her, and that’s when the real trouble starts.

Now Billie Jean, Binx, and their friends Ophelia (Martha Gehman) and Putter (Yeardley Smith… Yes, the awesome voice of Lisa Simpson) are running from the law until they get paid for the scooter.

The awesome part about this movie is that Billie Jean becomes kind of a teenage martyr. She won’t accept that they won’t her and her friends seriously just because they are a bunch of kids.

“Fair is fair!”

In a state of rebellion, Billie Jean cuts off her golden locks, just like Joan of Arc did to prepare for battle. (Of course Joan of Arc did this to pass as a man. They leave Slater looking very feminine.) Girls all around the nation start cutting their hair like their new idol. The girl that is representing their generation.

The main song in this movie… Invincible by Pat Benatar, is the best possible song that they could have used. When that song comes on, you know just how bad ass Billie Jean is! If I could choose a theme song, I am pretty sure that I would pick this song. (Although I don’t know if I’m cool enough to pull it off!)

This movie offers some pretty positive messages. It’s about standing up for what’s right and any cost. It’s about doing the right thing. It’s about the underdog rising to victory… In other words… It’s awesome!

So, I think that you need to check out this movie. Remember, it’s not out on DVD, but for those of you true geeks out there, use that VCR that you still have around for moments like this!

This is a classic movie for multiple reasons, and really identifies with Movie Geeks, and Music Geeks. With a cast that includes John Cusack, Jack Black, Catherine Zeta Jones, Tim Robbins, Todd Louiso, Lisa Bonet, Joan Cusack and freaking Darlene(Sara Gilbert) from ‘Roseanne’ how can you possibly go wrong? Plus there are more top lists in this movie than in any other movie combined!

The story follows Rob Gordon(John Cusack) a record store owner who goes through a bad breakup with his girlfriend. Through the breakup he spends more time at his store with his employees Dick and Barry and they talk about everything! One of my favorite conversations revolves around Rob asking Barry:

Rob:[To Barry]Just come on. What would it mean to you, that sentence: I haven’t seen Evil Dead II yet?
Barry: Well, to me it would mean that you’re a liar. You’ve seen it twice. Once with Laura -oops- and once with me and Dick, remember? We had that conversation about the guy making Beretta shotgun ammo off-screen in the 14th century.
Rob: Right, all right. But let’s just say that I hadn’t seen it and I said to you, “I haven’t seen Evil Dead II yet”, what would you think?
Barry: I’d think that you’re a cinematic idiot and I’d feel sorry for you.
Rob: All right. But from that one sentence, would you think that I was going to see it?
Barry: I’m sorry, Rob. I’m struggling here. You’re asking me what would I think if you told me you hadn’t seen a film that you have already seen. What am I supposed to say?
Rob: Just listen to me. If I said to you-
Barry: “I haven’t seen Evil Dead II yet”, yes.
Rob: Would you get the impression that I really wanted to see it?
Barry: Oh, uh, well you couldn’t have been desperate to see it, otherwise you’d have already gone.
Rob: Right, I’m not gonna see that movie.
Barry:[pause] But the word “yet”. Yeah, you know what? I’d get the impression that you wanted to see it otherwise you’d have said you didn’t wanna go.
Rob: But in your opinion, would I definitely go?
Barry: How the fuck am I supposed to know?! Probably!
Rob: Why?
Barry: Because it’s a brilliant film. It’s so funny, and violent, and the soundtrack kicks fucking ass. I never thought I’d say this, but can I go work now?

Couldn’t have been a better exchange even if Kevin Smith had written it! I don’t want to ruin the movie for you, but if you haven’t seen this it is a definite must own, must have for ANYONE’s collection.

Melissa:

1959… lovers lane… you’ve got a foxy lady in your car… all of a sudden something falls out of the sky. What do you do? Well, you ignore the hot chick and check it out of course!

Chris (Jason Lively) and J.C. are your average dorky college kids… When Chris locks his eyes on Cindy (Jill Whitlow) he decides that he will do anything to impress her. That’s when he and J.C. cook up the scheme to pledge a fraternity to impress her, and things start to go haywire!

If you like ‘Slither’ then you will love the movie that it ripped off… Yep!   ‘Night Of The Creeps’. See… when I said that things start to go haywire… I mean alien slug like creatures invade the campus and when they enter a humans mouth, they lay eggs in the brain and the human walks around like a zombie. Hmmm… ‘Slither’ definitely didn’t steal any of their ideas from here…

What movie would be complete without the bad guy who gets killed. This one is an extra treat! Brad, the Bradster ( See, you hate him already!) is played by Allan Kayser. YES! BUBBA HIGGINS FROM ‘MAMA’S FAMILY’! Enjoy that death scene folks!

They make a couple of subtle references to the sci-fi B movies of the 50′s in the film, such as Corman University, which is after Roger Corman a.k.a “The King of the B’s”. He was a director in the 50′s.

Det. Ray Cameron (Tom Atkins) makes a ridiculous amount of references in the film… his lines are not exactly clever… but man are they funny! If you look at the bathroom wall that J.C. is crawling for before he gets infested, it says “Go Monster Squad”. For those that don’t know, Fred Dekker, the director, also gave us the super awesome ‘Monster Squad’! And yes Travis, the wolf man DOES have nards!

I noticed another weird thing too. Did anyone else notice the first naked infested guy had no junk? Um, you can see peoples head split open, but hide the junk! That makes no sense! (Not that I would actually like to see it! lol)

One more silly notice, and then I will shut up… One cop apparently had time to stop for donuts! Every single crime scene the guy is eating a donut! Maybe put the donut down and look for clues… That’s a good idea!

Dick Miller makes his normal cameo, since the guys been in over one hundred movies. Actually, one hundred sixty nine I believe! You’d think he should be a red carpet celebrity with that kind of screen time.

There are two different endings to ‘Night Of The Creeps’. I won’t give them away for all of you that have missed out on this film, but I will say this… BOTH ARE PRETTY AWESOME!

So please… Oh please, Oh please, Oh Please… PUT THIS OUT ON DVD!!! It is only available on VHS! I need a widescreen ‘Night Of The Creeps’ on DVD to have and to hold! Let’s make this happen!

MAKE MELISSA HAPPY!!! The end.

Melissa:

With all the Vampire hype from ‘Twilight’, I thought that I would take the time to explain what a REAL VAMPIRE movie is like… (Disclaimer: I did really enjoy ‘Twilight’… but in the girly-swoon at the hot, sensitive vampire way!)

While sharing some hot, make out time with his girlfriend Amy (Amanda Bearse), Charlie Brewster (William Ragsdale) gets distracted (guess it wasn’t that hot) from a coffin being carried into the house next door. With his knowledge gained by a vampire hunter who hosts scary movies on television, Charlie makes the decision that his neighbor is none-other than a vampire!

With the help of his best friend Evil Ed (Stephen Geoffreys) and the TV vampire slayer named Peter Vincent (Roddy McDowall), it is now Charlie’s mission to expose the vampire Jerry Dandrige (Chris Sarandon) and to send him back to where he came from. All Jerry the Vampire really wants is Charlie’s girlfriend Amy. (It’s hard to see her as attractive if you have ever seen ‘Married With Children’ since she plays Marcy D’Arcy, Peggy Bundy’s best friend!)

Things to look forward to…

Evil Ed turning into a wolf… For an eighties movie, they did a pretty decent job!

Amy turning into an awesome vampire!

Jerry Dandrige was the Edward Cullen of the time… It seems that girls who watched this movie seemed to swoon over him. He might look a little dated, but he is still an attractive piece of man meat!

It sticks to the basic vampire rules!

It follows the 80′s horror rule that nosey teens create a world of trouble… but not so much to rule out the happy ending!

Now… Let’s talk about Evil Ed! You knew this was coming. (No pun intended for those of you that know what I am about to say!) WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU MAN??? You give us gems like ‘Fright Night’ and ’976-EVIL’, and then you go on to ‘Latin Crotch Rockets’, ‘Mechanics Bi Day, Lube Job bi Night’, and ‘Transexual Prostitutes 2′. DON’T FEAR THOUGH!!! It seems he is going back to horror with “Murder Diaries’ which is filming now!

So if you like cheesy, scary vampire fun then check out ‘Fright Night’… Remember… If I like it, then you’ll like it… lol

We Movie Geeks have been talking a lot lately about movies based on comic books, but there’s one I really enjoy that hasn’t been mentioned. Yep… that’s the one. ‘Howard the Duck’ (1986) is based on a Marvel Comics character. [The character's original comic book design looked curiously familiar to another cartoon duck.] I first saw this movie on cable when I was a kid and absolutely fell in love with it. Now, some hard-nosed critics out there would have you believe this is a terrible movie, but I dispute that. Granted, the film’s no award winner… unless you count the three Razzies the movie won in 1987 for Worst Screenplay, Worst Visual Effects and the ultimate glory, Worst Picture! I’m sorry, but there’s many movies out there that are far worse and far less enjoyable than my buddy Howard!

‘Howard the Duck’ was written and directed by Willard Huyck, who has worked as a writer in the past on The Devil’s 8, American Graffiti and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. The duck named Howard, from a far off egg-shaped planet of ducks, was actually played by six different actors. His arch-nemesis is a greedy scientist named Dr. Walter Jenning who becomes host to an evil alien invader known as the Dark Overlord, is played by a pre-child pornography obsessed Jeffrey Jones (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off).

Howard makes friends with a group of teens who help to protect and hide him from Dr. Cleveland and the government who wish to capture and study him. Howard becomes smitten with the attractive young Beverly (Lea Thompson). Phil, played by a young Tim Robbins, is Dr. Jenning’s assistant and Beverly’s friend who helps them elude his enemies. Howard just wants to go home after he was suddenly snatched from his home world and transported by a botched experiment, but his journey home becomes far more dangerous when Dr. Jenning finally metamorphoses into the true incarnation of the Dark Overlord.

Sure, we’re not talking ILM quality special effects here [by the way, this was produced by Mr. Lucas himself] … but, the movie is tons of fun and offers some sincere laughs. I still think Howard is super cool and can’t wait for the DVD! No, for now you’ll have to settle with either an old worn-out VHS copy [if you can find one] or a PAL format DVD from Europe, if you’ve got the hardware to play it… However, hope is not lost! While no date, or even official rumors, have been spotted online for an “official” DVD release there are other sources.

Melissa:

Beetlegeuse! Beetlegeuse! Beetlegeuse!

So, I took a trip down memory lane tonight, like I often do during the week when the new Netflix mail hasn’t arrived, and decided to relive Tim Burton’s Beetlejuice. What’s better than spending the night with a bunch of freakish ghouls, a pre-kleptomaniac Winona Ryder, and Jeffrey Jones playing a normal father well before his child pornography arrest! Let’s start off October with a fun one!!!

Barbara and Adam have just gotten married (Geena Davis and Alec Baldwin). While decorating their perfect little country home, in their perfect little quite town, they run their car off the road to avoid a dog. Once they return home and notice the Handbook for the Recently Deceased on their table, as well as their lack of reflection, they come to the obvious conclusion that they are dead.

And what could be worse than being dead in your own home? Having New Yorkers invade, that’s what! The Deetze family decide to completely remodel the home after purchasing it and turn Barbara and Adams’ (non)lives upside down! The house is soon turned into some crazy version of a modern piece of art, full of wacky statues and bold colors. The only one who feels the need to respect the dead couple is Lydia, an ultra Goth teen who is fixated with depression and death. Lydia is the only person who can see Barbara and Adam, and befriends them.

When Barbara and Adam cannot scare the Deetzes out of the home that they must remain in for the next 125 years, they call on a “bio-exorcist” by the name of Beetlegeuse (Michael Keaton), a rebel ghost who plays by his own rules, and is pretty darn creepy! I guess their bed sheets and moaning just didn’t do the trick! (Wow… that doesn’t sound right!) After calling his name three times, they pull him out of his new home inside a model of the town that Adam had built and into the Deetzes’ nightmares! Especially Lydias!

I would argue that this is Michael Keatons’ best role! He is funny, diverse, outlandish, and simply amazing! It’s one of the few roles where he really stretches in a different direction! (Especially if you note that one of his last major releases was Herbie: Fully Loaded, where he played Lindsay Lohan’s dad.)

Catherine O’Hara plays Lydia’s stepmother, Delia Deetze. It took me watching this movie again now that I am older to appreciate her comedic value in the film. She plays an artist with some of the worst sculptures the art world has ever seen! As for Winona Ryder… her monotone, inexpressive, boring acting really fit the part here! I mean… it’s like she wasn’t even acting!

The effects in this movie make me giddy with happiness! Every person in the office for the undead is completely different! My personal favorite is the charred skeleton of a man that continues to smoke! The whole essence screams Tim Burton. He has a style all his own, and you can point it out whether watching this film, Edward Scissorhand’s, or even Batman. When watching, the storyline is so intriguing, and the effects are so well done that it gives a sense of timelessness.

The crude, yet fun-loving characters and witty script writing make this movie a classic to add to your collection! Plus, it’s nice to be reminded that the cast members were actually in at least one good film! (Catherine O’Hara and early Michael Keaton excluded!)

Guy Ritchie is back with a new flick and a badass cast. ‘Rock N Rolla’ is set in London, “a stolen painting pits some of the city’s scrappiest tough guys (Butler, Elba) against its more established underworld players (Wilkinson).”

This movie looks and sounds badass. I am ready to see Butler in a new action movie that doesn’t contain any Numbers (300).

“I have to return some videotapes’. One of the single greatest exit lines in cinema history. ‘American Psycho’ introduced me to Christian Bale, and I haven’t looked back since.

The movie initially garnered an NC-17 rating and for those of you that have seen it, you can only image what it was before it was toned down to its current version. Apparently the sex scene between Bale and the two hookers was a little too racy, and they had to re-edit the film to get the R rating. Sadly the movie received this rating because of SEX and not the multiple violent death scenes..weird?

Christian Bale portrays Patrick Bateman, a wealthy New York business man, who doubles as a serial killer/music buff. Not being one to be out done, he sets off have the best apartment, nicest suits, and the greatest business card. When a fellow co-worker Paul Allen(Jared Leto) starts making him look bad, he decides that only way to resolve this issue is to kill him and several others along the way. The movie also features Willem Dafoe, Reese Witherspoon, Josh Lucas, Chloà « Sevigny, and Stephen Bogaert.

The movie helped me understand how important it is to have a great business card, and ensuring I always returned my videotapes. Always remember those two important lessons.

This movie will forever been in my top 10 favorite movies of all time list. Why do you ask? This movie almost single handedly changed my view on movies. I watched it for the first time when I was 12 and after my dad left for work I popped it in and gazed in amazement. I hadnt seen anything else like this before, all the violence, blood, cursing, drug use..maybe this is what corrupted my moral foundation?

Quentin Tarantino followed up ‘Reservoir Dogs’ with this piece of cinematic art, that only comes along once or twice a generation. You get one of the greatest casts to ever be brought into a flick with Bruce Willis, John Travolta, Samuel L Jackson, Uma Thurman, Ving Rhames, and Tim Roth. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this movie. Nothing you can pick apart of it. Its a pure classic in every sense of the word.

“Jules Winnfield and Vincent Vega are two hitmen who are out to retrieve a suitcase stolen from their employer, mob boss Marsellus Wallace. Wallace has also asked Vincent to take his wife Mia out a few days later when Wallace himself will be out of town. Butch Coolidge is an aging boxer who is paid by Wallace to lose his next fight. The lives of these seemingly unrelated people are woven together comprising of a series of funny, bizarre and uncalled-for incidents.”

If you havent seen this movie, then do yourself a favor, go out and BUY this movie..its a classic movie that needs to be in everyone’s collection. The damn movie has a 96% on Rotten Tomatoes, so that should tell you something!