Top Ten Tuesday: Evil Henchmen

Why is it the evil mastermind always gets all the glory? It’s the little bad guys of evil that do all the work, getting their hands dirty but never get any respect. Well, the movie geeks decided to change that. With the ongoing box office success of DESPICABLE ME, and considering the little yellow Minions had a lot to do with the fun encountered on screen in that film, we’ve pooled our collective diabolical Movie Geek minds and have come up with a master plan of list making domination… the top ten best evil henchmen.

Honorable Mention: Nick Nack – THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN

He may be small, but don’t underestimate Nick Nack in his ability to get his evil duties done. As the quiet and subtle sidekick to Fransisco Scaramanga (Christopher Lee) he serves his boss on many levels. Herve Villechaize portrays this character, who might be considered kind of “cute” if not for his criminal tendencies. His role in the James Bond film THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN led to his long-running role as Tattoo in the TV series FANTASY ISLAND.

10. Mr. Joshua – LETHAL WEAPON

In LETHAL WEAPON, Ex-mercenary, Mr. Joshua (Gary Busey), is psychotically loyal to his current boss, the head of Shadow Co. and heroin dealer – General Peter McAllister. For example, this albino dude is such a freak of nature that he’ll even hold his bare arm to a lit cigarette lighter when ordered by his boss as an example to a possible client. Being a henchman with some finesse, he assassinates the mole in the operation with a sniper rifle from a hovering helicopter. What a showoff! A total psychopath, Mr. Joshua seethingly tells Sgt. Riggs (Mel Gibson), who’s being tortured with a car battery, Endo here has forgotten more about dispensing pain than you and I will never know. Guy clearly loves his job. At the end of LETHAL WEAPON, Mr. Joshua apparently meets his demise after a Jiu-Jitsu tango with Riggs, until he rises with a gun in hand and is finally put down like the dog he is, by a double whammy from Riggs and partner cop, Sgt. Murtaugh (Danny Glover). Henchman to the last.

09. Taggart – BLAZING SADDLES

One of the many hilarious characters in Mel Brooks’ 1974 comedy classic BLAZING SADDLES is Hedy (That’s Hedley!) Lamarr’s henchman, Taggart, played by the unforgettable Slim Pickens. We first meet him as supervisor of the railroad construction crew in the desert. He arrives just as his redneck co-workers are trying to teach the Africa American track-layers how to properly sing and dance to “Camptown Ladies.” Taggart screams, “What in the Wide, wide, world of Sports is-a-goin’ on here?” (the first of many great lines) He soon reveals his true nature by sending two of the crewmen out to check the track for quicksand. Taggart is soon rewarded with a shovel to the head. We soon see him with his boss, Hedley, who needs a way to get the residents of Rock Ridge out of the way of the new railroad. Taggart helps out with the suggestion that he and his men give the town a number six! He then shows his softer side when comforted by his boss after being startled by the sound of a man and his horse being hung at the nearby gallows. Presently Taggart and his men on horseback storm through Rock Ridge and brutalize its citizens. The next time we see him, Taggart welcomes a suggestion from one of his men and sends Mongo out to destroy the town’s new sheriff, Bart. After that fails he’s shocked to learn that Sheriff Bart is the same worker that smacked him with the shovel. Thanks to the quick draw of the Waco Kid, Bart is saved from an ambush by Taggart’s crew. Later we see Taggart compliment his boss, Hedley, on his oratory skills (“You use your mouth purtier than a twenty dollar whore!”) and helps in the search for his beloved Froggy. After helping Hedley recruit an army to wipe out the town, Taggart is prominent in the melee that spills out into other sets on the Warner Brothers lot. Prior to his last scene with the commissary cashier, Taggart erupts with this memorable last line of dialogue before gut-punching musical director Dom DeLuise (“P**s on you! Ah work fe’ Mel Brooks!”). While may film fans may remember Slim Pickens most as Major Kong riding a nuclear bomb in DR. STRANGELOVE, I’ll always see him as the brutal, dim, racist henchmen to Harvey Korman in BLAZING SADDLES.

08. Luca Brasi – THE GODFATHER

Luca Brasi was taught at the Mafia School he’d always have job security with THE GODFATHER. This henchman makes quite the speech when he pledges his undying loyalty to Don Corleone. Bumbles and fumbles is more like it. “Don Corleone, I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your daughter… ‘s wedding… on the day of your daughter’s wedding. And I hope their first child… be a masculine child. I pledge my ever… ending… loyalty.” Good God Man just spit it out. Brasi is Don Corleone’s hired hitman – Brasi once held a gun to a record producer’s head to get him to sign a contract for the Don’s Godson by telling him either your brains or your signature will be on that contract. Good enough for me, where do I sign? Brasi winds up dying at the hands of a rival family by having his hand (wince) stabbed to a bar as he’s strangled from behind. Corleone receives his henchman’s bullet-proof vest and a fish – “Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes.” So endeth the lesson.

07. Grover Dill – A CHRISTMAS STORY

Grover Dill, better known as “Toadie” the right-hand runt to Skut Farkus, was a mean little bully to the Parker boys in Bob Clark’s 1983 classic A CHRISTMAS STORY. Played by Yano Anaya, Grover Dill served more as the “mouth” of the two-bully team that ruled the alley ways and playgrounds of 1940’s Hammond, Indiana. While Skut was taller and more physically aggressive, Grover provided the psychological terror of the two, taunting the boys with his green teeth. Grover was a formidable henchmen to face, but combined with Skut they had no equal… that is, of course, until Ralphie totally lost it Christian Bale style and pounded the pulp out of Skut, leaving Grover standing to the side, whimpering like a frightened little dog.

06. Fritz – FRANKENSTEIN

When we think of mad doctors and scientists, we always usually imagine a lowly, smaller sidekick with him.  While in later incarnations, that henchman would be named “Igor”, in the original Frankenstein that character’s name was Fritz.  Fritz was played by Dwight Frye, who will show up higher on this list as well. Everything about Frye’s look and acting laid the groundwork and character shell for all mad assistants in future film.  Down the hunchback and to the quiet, yet creepy, style of speaking, Fritz is one of the definitive henchmen that has been copied from to this day.

“Yeessssss Master.”

05. Igor – HOUSE OF WAX

Charles Bronson received only ninth billing in the popular 1953 thriller HOUSE OF WAX (the first color feature presented in 3-D), but his background role was as colorfully sinister as it was menacing. As Igor, the deaf-mute assistant to Vincent Price, Bronson was an impressive figure with his close-cropped Neanderthal appearance, slit-eyed stony mask of a face, and muscular physique. Whether murdering intruders behind the scenes of the museum, or carrying out the depraved orders of his suave employer, Bronson made a lasting impression. Unforgettable was the sequence where he stalks Phyllis Kirk through the deserted museum, exploiting his primitive features by posing among a shelf-full of wax heads, making for a wonderful visual joke.

04. Jaws – THE SPY WHO LOVED ME

Many have attempted to duplicate the greatness that was Richard Kiel’s “Jaws” in the James Bond films, but none have captured the essence of the towering 7’2″ giant henchman with razor sharp steel teeth. Kiel gave us a preview of this character in 1976’s SILVER STREAK as Reace… he even had a version of the “teeth,” but it was Jaws that truly put him on the map. Having only appeared in two films of the 007 series — THE SPY WHO LOVED ME and MOONRAKER — the character has left an unmistakable mark on our movie memory. How does James Bond, an average-sized guy, contend in a fight to the death with such a large, seemingly indestructible force of sheer brute strength. I mean, he survived an extreme electrocution at the hands of James Bond. Of all the great Bond villains, few had the presence of Jaws.

03. Renfield – DRACULA

“Flies? Flies? Poor puny things! Who wants to eat flies when I can get nice fat spiders!” Character actor Dwight Frye specialized in the portrayal of mentally deranged characters but his signature role was that of the madman Renfield opposite Bela Lugosi in Tod Browning’s original DRACULA in 1931. Frye begins the film as a mild-mannered real-estate agent greeting Dracula on the steps of his castle, but is soon camping it up as the vampire’s wild-eyed slave, spouting quotable dialog about preferring juicy spiders over flies. The character of Renfield has been portrayed by many, most notably Klaus Kinski in Jess Franco’s COUNT DRACULA (1971) and Tom Waits in BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA (1991) but it is Frye’s interpretation with that fiendish, stark-raving madness that is the longest lasting.

02. Flying Monkeys – THE WIZARD OF OZ

In the original Oz novels, these were just what the name implies: intelligent monkeys with wings. They were controlled by a golden hat, initially worn by the Wicked Witch of the West who used it to set the monkeys upon Dorothy and her friends. At one point they destroy the Scarecrow and Tin Woodman entirely, leaving them scattered across the landscape. In return, the Wicked Witch is allowed 3 wishes that leave her entirely responsible for any mishaps or misconceptions.

In the classic 1939 film The Wizard of Oz, the monkeys are apparently intelligent enough to obey commands, but do not speak, as in the book. This makes them seem considerably more “animalistic” and less benign. They kidnap Dorothy and dismantle the Scarecrow, but do nothing to the Tin Man or the Cowardly Lion, leaving them free to put the Scarecrow back together and rescue Dorothy.

In the film version of The Wiz, the African-American rock adaptation of The Wizard of Oz, the Flying Monkeys are a motorcycle gang, whose leader is named Cheetah, after the Tarzan character. Their metal wings are part of their motorcycles, but these apparently dissolved with the witch’s other magic, as they are absent when carrying Dorothy and her friends back to the Emerald City.

01. Oddjob – GOLDFINGER

Of all the deadly henchmen that gentleman spy James Bond has encountered in his decades of cinema missions none may be as memorable (and nearly unstoppable) as the mute Korean assassin, Oddjob. Played by Hawaiian wrestler, Harold Sakata, Oddjob is the driver, caddy and main enforcer for Auric Goldfinger in the third (and to many fans the best) Bond film from 1964 Goldfinger. Our first glimpse of Oddjob is his thick hand coming to frame to administer a knockout karate chop to Mr. Bond. Soon we see his hulking shadow on the hotel room wall. Bond awakes later to view Oddjob’s handiwork, Jill Masterson’s corpse covered in gold paint. Next we see him in the role of Auric Goldfinger’s caddy in a high stakes round of golf with Bond. He then helps his boss cheat by producing a golf ball thru a hole in his trousers and utters one of his two lines (“Ahh! Ahh!”). After the game, the victorious Mr. Bond is given a demonstration of Oddjob’s non-golf caddying talents. He removes his bowler-like hat and decapitates one of the golf course sculptures. The rim of the hat is steel tipped! As they drive away Oddjob flashes a sinister smile at Bond as he crushes a golf ball with one hand. James is clearly disturbed by the sight. The next time he meets up with Oddjob is at Auric’s factory when Tilly (Jill Masterson’s revenge seeking sister) is struck down by his deadly hat. Later, after Bond is taken to Goldfinger’s Kentucky horse breeding stables, Oddjob is given the task of driving a gangster back to the airport. The man wanted no part of Auric’s assault on Fort Knox. Odd job takes a side road from the airport and shoots the gangster point blank while coldly smiling. He then drives to a junkyard where the auto is compacted and crushed with the corpse inside! On the day of the assault (Operation: Grandslam) Oddjob arrives at Fort Knox handcuffed to Bond. After the nuclear device is activated and the countdown begins, Bond(now cuffed to the bomb), Oddjob, and one of Gold- finger’s scientists are locked in the gold vault. When the scientist tries to get out, Oddjob mercilessly tosses him off one the upper levels. His body lands close enough to Bond that he retrieves the handcuff key. The loyal henchman is not concerned about being in the bomb’s blast and pummels Bond as he tries to get at the bomb. Although he’s a head shorter than 007, nothing that Bond does can faze him. With each blow Oddjob merely smiles then proceeds to toss the agent about like a rag doll. It’s not until Bond grabs his steel-rimmed hat that Oddjob look concerned. Bond misses him with the hat and it lodges between the steel bars of vault. As Oddjob goes to retrieve it, Bond touches a severed electrical to the bars, and the unstoppable assassin is felled by the current almost like a classic movie monster. His fighting skills useless, James Bond had to use his brain to triumph over Oddjob.

Although the movie is named for him, Auric Goldfinger took a backseat to his henchman, Oddjob, in the just beginning era of movie merchandising. Several toys came out with the film most with either the image of Sean Connery as James Bond or Harold Sakata as Oddjob. There were Gilbert action figures and both were Aurora model kits(the company best known for their best selling classic movie monsters). Oddjob was such a memorable character that Sakata played variations of him for the rest of his life. A popular cough syrup commercial featured him(wearing that famous hat) destroying a whole neighborhood while at the mercy of a nasty cough. Later he appeared on the Tonight Show parodying the ad while he demolished Johnny Carson’s set. Although he was almost without dialogue , Oddjob was one of the most memorable henchman in Bond and film history.