Oscar’s Bargain Basement

In one of the many screenings that takes place almost every night throughout the U.S., this gem appeared in my inbox….

SPLICE is a suspenseful, sci-fi thriller which stars Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley as two young rebellious scientists, who defy legal and ethical boundaries and forge ahead with a dangerous experiment: splicing together human and animal DNA to create a new organism. Named “Dren”, the creature rapidly develops from a deformed female infant into a beautiful but dangerous adult, who forges a bond with both of her creators – only to have that bond turn deadly. Rated R.

Holy shit. This looks like the worst movie ever made in the history of movies… Note to Academy – when you give out an Oscar for Best Actor, said actor needs to sign an affidavit saying he will not ever tarnish their Oscar win and make a PIECE OF SHIT MOVIE!!! I get it. Everyone has a mortgage payment and bills just like Oscar winner Adrien Brody (THE PIANIST). All of us here at WAMG have jobs in the real world to support our habit. But c’mon, Adrien. What happened….you loose a bet, again? SPLICE and the upcoming PREDATORS with Topher Grace and Danny Trejo?? Oy vey. Just because the studio backs the money truck up to your door, doesn’t mean you have to make the play for pay films.

I could just scream when I see Sir Ben Kingsley waste, yes waste, his time on such tripe as SPECIES and THE LOVE GURU. Movies of that ilk shouldn’t be allowed in the same repertoire as GHANDI. Good God man, you’re an Oscar winner – have a little dignity!!

Cuba Gooding Jr. wins the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for JERRY MAGUIRE and is poised for a career of greatness. Unfortunately, he’s an example of an Oscar winner who’s gone between the paycheck films (RAT RACE) and first class caliber acts (AS GOOD AS IT GETS, AMERICAN GANGSTER). I for one love his work, but sadly had to hang my head when I saw him in that trash DADDY DAY CAMP. I truly hope his headlining performance in the upcoming Tuskegee Airmen film RED TAILS propels him back into A-List status.

Best Actress winner Charlize Theron wins the Academy Award for Best Actress for her searing work on MONSTER in 2003 and then finds herself as window dressing in Will Smith’s Summer Blockbuster of 2008 HANCOCK. What else… big paycheck. However, to be fair, she did a lot in my eyes to rectify that questionable move with her performances in THE BURNING PLAIN and THE ROAD.

I reserve judgment on Oscar winners Sean Penn and Benicio del Toro participation in The Farrelly Brothers’ film about The Three Stooges. Right, right, Del Toro just produced and starred in the ghastly WOLFMAN film, but before that he won Best Supporting Actor for TRAFFIC and was brilliant in 21 GRAMS and CHE. 

Even Penn grew up from his earlier FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH phase (a film which I love, btw) and matured into Academy Award winning roles in MYSTIC RIVER and MILK.

Oscar veterans have easily bounced between crowd pleasers and critically acclaimed films. You can find Robert DeNiro in the high brow dramas (RAGING BULL, GODFATHER II, CASINO) or alternate comedies (ANALYZE THIS, MEET THE PARENTS). Meryl Streep’s serious fare (KRAMER VS KRAMER, SOPHIE’S CHOICE, DOUBT) or the comedies (DEATH BECOMES HER, DEVIL WEARS PRADA). Streep and De Niro make it look effortless and audiences obviously love when these two thespians act outside of their element.

So I ask, do Oscar Winners deserve a time-out? DeNiro in STARDUST, Streep in MAMMA MIA, Del Toro in WOLFMAN, Theron in HANCOCK. They’re the lucky ones who will always continue to see work. But once that Oscar’s been set on your mantle, should it all be over for the fluff stuff? For other Oscar winners, the well dries up. There are bills to pay, groceries to buy, and you’ve GOT to take the jobs offered… like Brody and Gooding.

Thank the maker, some are fully cognizant of the appearance of slumming it. At the recent Academy Awards Nominees luncheon, Best Actress Nominee Sandra Bullock even admitted to doing crappy work for money in the past (ALL ABOUT STEVE), but that if she won the Oscar on March 7th, “I have an obligation to go forward with better work.” Girl will never fall into the “payment denied for lack of funds” category.