Top Ten Tuesday: Classic Stories That Should NOT Be Adapted Again

While the idea of ceasing the overall usage of adapting stories, classic or otherwise, into feature films is laughable, there are those stories that just should not be touched again.  Whether they have been done so many times that it seems trivial to adapt onto the silver screen or an adaptation has come along that so definitely captures the essence of the story, there are those classic stories that should simply be left alone.  Certainly, there are those stories that we will have left off this list, and some of you may think some of these classic stories deserve another go in the feature film realm.  For now, and in honor of Robert Zemeckis’ adaptation of A CHRISTMAS CAROL, we give you our 10 classic stories that should NOT be adapted ever again.

10. Macbeth

Adapted Roughly 35 Times

MACBETH is perhaps one of the best Shakespeare stories and also one of the most difficult to adapt successfully, while it’s been done several times with varying degrees of success. I mean really, 35 times? With so many film adaptations done, both classical and modernized, I feel strongly in saying it’s time to move on. At least, dabble in some of the bard’s other many works, assuming there is anything left untouched.

9. Alice in Wonderland

Adapted Roughly 38 Times

ALICE IN WONDERLAND is one of the more pliable classics for adapting, as there is so much imagination to the story that it opens itself up to creativity. With that said, too much is often just that… too much. While I am looking forward to seeing what Tim Burton does with with childhood favorite of mine, I stand firm in calling the Disney animated adaptation by far the best. Fortunately, I honestly cannot remember having ever seen a truly “bad” adaptation of Alice, but enough is enough!

8. Beowulf

Adapted Roughly 7 Times

While the epic poem of Beowulf finds its origin somewhere between the 8th and the 11th century, and while it certainly deserves its place on this list, it hasn’t really made its ways into feature film adaptation until the last 30 years.  First adapted into the animated GRENDEL GRENDEL GRENDEL in 1981, it’s most memorable adaptations have come just in the last five years.  Robert Zemeckis treated the classic tale of a mysterious warrior who comes to a kingdom to rid it of the monster plaguing the land to his motion capture technology in 2007.  However, two years before that, Gerard Butler stepped into the live action shoes of the epic hero in BEOWULF & GRENDEL for director Sturla Gunnarsson.  That film treated the tale with much more realism than Zemeckis’ animated version or, especially, the 1999 sci-fi adaptation starring Christopher Lambert.  While the Gunnarsson version is most likely the most realistic telling of the Beowulf story, it still doesn’t hold a candle to Michael Crichton’s novel, Eaters of the Dead, which, essentially, served as a realistic telling of the events that could have inspired the epic poem.  This novel was adapted into the 1999 film THE THIRTEENTH WARRIOR starring Antonio Banderas and Vladimir Kulich portraying the titular character.

While it would seem there are plenty of adaptation of Beowulf to be found, this story, more than any other on this list, seems destined to be adapted a time or two again somewhere down the road.  The tale has already hit on literal adaptations, cross-genre tellings, and a realistic account of what may have inspired it, but leave it up to the think-tanks in Hollywood to squeeze just a little more juice from this fruit.

7. The Lord of the Rings

Adapted Roughly 2 Times

Okay, so J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings (along with The Hobbit) has only really been adapted twice in the history of feature film adaptations.  Having said that, is there really ever going to be a chance for anyone to capture a more picture perfect telling than what Peter Jackson created between 2001 and 2003.  Granted, he didn’t tell the complete tale of the Bagginses and their initial encountering with the One Ring.  That is to come in the next few years, as Jackson and Guillermo del Toro are hard at work on reimagining THE HOBBIT.  And, granted, there are those who enjoyed the Ralph Bakshi versions of THE HOBBIT and THE LORD OF THE RINGS in the late ’70s.  However, it certainly seems that a definitive adaptation of the work has been done, and THE LORD OF THE RINGS film saga is anything but a forgettable piece of cinema.  It will surely be remembered decades from now when someone gets the bright idea to possibly redo it all.  Oddly enough, while THE LORD OF THE RINGS has the least amount of adaptations as any classic tale on this list, it is also the one film on this list that has the least likelihood of ever being adapted again.

6. The Three Musketeers

Adapted Roughly 32 Times

While there’s been the earlier 1948 version starring Gene Kelly and Lana Turner and Stephen Herek’s 1993 tale starring Charlie Sheen and Kiefer Sutherland, Richard Lester’s 1973 THE THREE MUSKETEERS is the definitive take on Dumas’s tale of intrigue, plots, adventure, and romance set in 17^th century Paris. Its chocked full of the best actors and actresses of the 1960’s and 70’s including Michael York as D’Artagnan, Oliver Reed as Athos, Richard Chamberlain as Aramis, Frank Finlay as Porthos, Raquel Welch as Constance, Geraldine Chaplin as Queen Anne, Charlton Heston as the Cardinal Richelieu. The best parts were given to Christopher Lee as the sinister Rochefort who’s in cahoots with the dangerous Milady de Winter deliciously played by Faye Dunaway.

You don’t have to know anything about French history to love the story of THE THREE MUSKETEERS. Our hero, d’Artagnan, leaves his farming home in France to travel to Paris to become one of the King Louis XIII’s musketeers. Once there, he meets Athos, Porthos, and Aramis and they all become in a plot to discredit Queen Anne. They find themselves up against the powerful Cardinal Richelieu, his henchman Rochefort, and the evil Milady de Winter. With all this court intrigue going on, D’Artagnan finds time to romance the clumsy Constance. I really enjoy this Salkind Bros. (SUPERMAN 1978) produced version for all the humor found in George MacDonald Fraser’s screenplay. With all its drama and sword-fighting, Lester’s THREE MUSKETEERS is fun to watch. Each character has a funny moment special unto them in the film. Yvonne Blake’s costuming, Leslie Dilley’s art direction, David Watkin’s cinematography and Michel Legrand’s score are rich and gorgeous to say the least. It truly is a beautiful film to watch…and I saw it on the big screen when it originally came out.

Originally set to run over three hours, the studio made it into two films, (THE FOUR MUSKETEERS was released the following year in 1974) and without telling the actors too. Apparently Heston was the only one to be told of the change and as a result, the rest of the actors sued demanding to be paid for both films. Be sure to catch this fantastic version of THE THREE MUSKETEERS next time it plays on AMC or TCM.

5. Frankenstein

Adapted Roughly 15 Times

FRANKENSTEIN was done so utterly well by Universal, while not the first adaptation, that it begs to ask the question why ever attempt a redo? Well, like with so many other examples, certain people want to “modernize” the classics for new audiences, and that’s all well and good, but this is a story with depth beyond a big scary monster. To some extent, it’s more sci-fi than horror, which is why my favorite, beyond the original and it’s superb sequel BRIDE OF, is the loosely adapted FRANKENSTEIN UNBOUND by Roger Corman, which is actually based on Brian W. Adliss’ sci-fi novel. It’s a stretch to call this an adaptation of Mary Shelley’s story, but without her’s we’d not have seen his.

4. Hamlet

Adapted Roughly 43 Times

Alas, poor Shakespeare, his works are neither sacred nor legendary any more.  That’s what 117 feature film adaptations of three of your most notable works will do to you.  While ROMEO AND JULIET is arguably his best and most noted work, it has been the lead role of HAMLET that many a stage and screen actor has (attempted to in some cases) cut their thespian teeth on.  And, while the most recent offerings include Mel Gibson in 1990, Kenneth Branagh in 1996, and Ethan Hawke in 2000, perhaps the most famous and best portrayal of the Danish prince came in 1948 from Sir Laurence Olivier.  This version is the only performance of HAMLET that garnered an Oscar nomination (Olivier won that year, as well), and it is the only version of HAMLET to be nominated for Best Picture (the film won, also).

3. Dracula

Adapted Roughly 19 Times

DRACULA has got to be one of the most worn out of the classic stories. Bram Stoker’s tale is fairly straight forward and doesn’t offer a great deal of varied interpretation, so 19 of them seems well beyond enough. The Bela Lugosi classic is great, but fairly put a tad over-rated. Personally, it doesn’t get much better for The Count himself than Coppola’s direct adaptation. Now, that’s not to suggest vampire movies are passe, as we’ve seen a resurgence in that sub-genre lately and with good merit. Vampire stories, for better or worse, still offer much room for exploration, but please, please… let Bram’s Dracula rest in peace already.

2. Romeo and Juliet

Adapted Roughly 39 Times

Shakespeare again?  Yes, Shakespeare again.  Arguably the bard’s most famed work, ROMEO AND JULIET has not only had 39 direct adaptations onto film, but the theme of star-crossed lovers is something found in dozens upon dozens (probably hundreds if you were really to sit down and count) of filmed screenplays.  Everything from WEST SIDE STORY to UNDERWORLD owes a debt in some form or another to this tale of Juliet and her Romeo.  It’s no surprise, either that filmed versions of this tale have been nominated for Best Picture on two  occasions, once in 1936 where it was directed by George Cukor and Norma Shearer and Leslie Howard played Juliet and Romeo, respectively, and once in 1968 where it was directed by Franco Zeffirelli and Olivia Hussey and Leonard Whiting played Juliet and Romeo, respectively.  Most people my age will remember fondly Baz Luhrman’s resetting of the tale into modern times.  That version, released in 1996, starred Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes and, 13 years later, it remains one of the boldest adaptations of the film in history.  We also have to give mention to TROMEO AND JULIET, the Troma-backed and Lloyd Kaufman-directed version of the story.  If for nothing else, that version of the film is worth watching for Lemmy’s unforgettable narration.

1. A Christmas Carol

Adapted Roughly 61 Times

166 years after it was first published, Charles Dickens’ classic A CHRISTMAS CAROL is, to this day, still getting adaptations sprung from it.   You did read that right.   This Friday’s release of Robert Zemeckis’ motion capture version of the story marks the 61st time the story has been adapted for the film world.   The first came in 1901, but it wasn’t until 1913 that a full-length feature film version of A CHRISTMAS CAROL was put to cinema.   There are many favorites amongst fans of the story.   Some are particular to the 1970 version entitled SCROOGE starring Albert Finney.   Others like the loose adaptation from 1988 SCROOGED starring Bill Murray.   Still others like either MICKEY’S CHRISTMAS CAROL from 1983 or 1992 THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL starring Michael Caine.   Regardless of your favorite, it never fails that, every year or so, a new version of the classic story is brought to life, whether for theaters or for TV.   After nearly 100 years of nonstop adaptations, we feel it is quite time to put Scrooge, Tiny Tim, and all three ghosts into the cinema penalty box, at least for a while.